My 2008 Life.

January
New Year was spent like that in 2008. It was awesome, making cupcakes and playing outside; the boys were having a BBQ. The Isynas and Space Sisters weren't able to attend. Pictures can never describe how January went for me - but I'm pretty sure it was the month everything started to change, especially myself. Yeah, in January I became an emo, always depressed, always sad, and it was all because of my feelings towards Hamzah, and how he acted towards me. I was even still super close with Farah. I really, really changed.


February
In pictures February looked like a nice month, with events like the Circus, Sekompond Party and Krispy Kreme's opening. But I remember how awful it actually was. I got in a 1 month fight with Hamzah starting from around the 5th of February, and inbetween all of that I struggled so hard to have fun, smile and be happy everyday. Fajar started showing a lot more concern for me here, and I probably told everyone about my problems.


March
My fight with Hamzah was over in the middle of March, but I got in another one with Fajar although that didn't get in the way of anything. March was one of my favourite months, we were so focused on Robotics and had continuous meetings and stuff. I don't remember being too depressed over anything here.

April
I loved April. Probably the best month in 2008. And also the worst. Because 1, I got in another feud with Hamzah and it didn't end until mid-May causing me to again be all emo and stuff [why it was worst], and 2, because there were a lot of memorable times and it's the month where Fajar acknowledged me as a best friend, where we were together nearly every single time we could, where I felt happiest even when the worst was still happening [the fight]. He changed things a lot. Another thing that happened in April was that I became extremely closed. I started to stop telling even my best friends how I felt and critical times that occured to me. Whenever I was sad I didn't want anyone to know, I just poured it all in DeviantART or on Fajar and Arya. I never told anyone why I became closed though.


May
My IGCSEs started here so no events happened. I was too busy at home so I hardly saw anyone, but I remember Kempo was something very major in my life at this time. Hamzah troubles stopped but Fajar troubles started - but nothing that important. It was a quite neutral month. I think we all started being RO fanatics too, and I amused myself with that.




June
Probably the 2nd best month in 2008. I had extreme Fajar issues that lasted til 10-ish June, and they were not pretty. And no, they weren't why it was the best month. Fighting with Fajar taught me things and I think it even caused me to stop liking Hamzah, which I didn't realise [or didn't want to realise] until mid-July. Even 'til now I still don't know if liking Hamzah or making a huge fuss over him about friendship all the time did any good, or taught me anything. Actually, I think it sort of did me bad because I became a depressed person, but I never regretted any part of it. It was an uncommon experience. Anyway, lots of fun stuff happened in this month. It was our last moments with Iwan [not] & MD and 'celebrating' them was awesome.


July
Summer in Indonesia. It was normal, but the Outbond was spectacular. Dufan sort of backfired because CC and Fajar weren't there but I enjoyed myself anyway. I smsed Fajar a lot 'til the total number of messages reached 555. I started to realise the Hamzah thing and that Fajar is really important.

August
In Qatar. Extreme loneliness and boredom. No contact with anyone. But there was RO, so whatever.


September
Ramadan started and something I really disliked about it was that me and Fajar had a fight. 2 I think, I forgot. And I think it was either this month or the next that I sort of broke off something he and I shared. Gradually things started to change again, but RO made it unnoticeable and better. I also thought that Year 12 will suck because everything seemed so alone. Yes, I was still a pessimist emo. In the healing process for the emo part though.


October
MD came and it was a glorious month. Maybe the 3rd or 4th or 5th most favourite month in 2008. Lots of stuff happened and I discovered that my feelings for Hamzah are so neutral now. I started being a hater though. Some things changed too, and I hated it. Since I am a normal person now [optimistic perhaps?], I don't try to remember the exact dates I fight with Fajar anymore. In November I still remembered, but starting from December I learned to forget. Who needs to remember things like that? But I know that I did have a fight with him in October. I think little by little we stopped playing RO too.


November
I think this is in the 3rd/4th/5th most favourite month category too. I had a 2 week fight with Fajar, but I wasn't an emo anymore. I was just an empty person, sentimental, lonely. I didn't even mind anymore that I was alone a lot at school. Emo felt too exaggerating and insulting. But despite that fact, I learned to look at the sky. Unlike my fights with Hamzah where I go depressed and hopeless and cry cry cry, with the Fajar fights, I thought of alternatives. I didn't think of it too much, I didn't try to cling to him, to be all desperate, to find out how he feels, instead I believed in him, I reduced the amount of tears I cried, and I actually began to open up again. I started telling things to Matar and Cania, and Hamzah, although that isn't surprising. Blogging also helped me. After going through so many obstacles without ever giving up, me and Fajar finally stopped fighting. We really really stopped. And if we ever came across an argument later on, we'd try to end it immediately. He changed though. He started hiding his feelings, hardly saying anything sweet anymore, and he goes moody all the time. He talks to me about weird things that I hate hearing from him and I start to notice he's a lot mature. Well, it's called puberty right? Well anyway, besides all that, we had awesome times like the Corniche Walk.



December
Here we are. December. I became a lazy butthead which is not good considering all the positive changes that happened in November. Oh, I also learned to look on the bright side better and I stopped crying. I feel a lot more mature now. This month was extremely lonely however. A waste of time. I wish the holiday wasn't ever this long. Nevertheless, events happened that were a lot fun.

So that was my 2008 life. It was probably the most... affective year ever. I love my 2008 self than my previous selves though, despite the fact that now I am less cheerful. Too many things happened, both good and bad. I'm surprised I can learn so much in 1 year. I'll always love 2007 more though, because it was so happy. I even prefer Year 11 than Year 12. But I bet when I go to university next year, maybe, I'll love 2008. Actually, when I look back, 2008 isn't so bad anymore. Is life always like that? How will 2009 be? I don't know. Better, worse? More changes will happen, that's for sure. We will be separated. I might start a new life after the summer. I won't say I'll always move on, because I don't think that's the right thing to do. I won't cling on to my past, either.
2009 is just a number. Days will go by as usual.