KAIFA Sanlat

KAIFA Pesantren Kilat [Sanlat]
Friday 26th December - Saturday 27th December 2008

OK in this hideously novel entry I'm gonna try typing in proper English. If I like it, then I'll keep it this way, if not, I'll continue with my excessive slang :) But tell me what you guys think, OK?

Day 1,
The educational day [as usual]. Well we all met up at the compound and I was attracted to one of the boys. I saw Arya too but couldn't greet him; too far away.
When we reached Al-Ghariya Resort I reminded myself of horrible memories, memories that didn't get in the way of anything though - infact, it only made me less remorseful. Anyhow I'll talk about that at the end where people don't have to read.
So, we had an introduction session, then separated ourselves into 3 rooms. I was literally dragged into Poppy's group but I didn't want to be separated with Matar so I was trying to go back to the Nisa group. Eventually they pulled in Carisa but we still wanted to be with the others so off we went. Huzzah. We called ourselves Hotel 626 or whatever XD I loved the bed ;__; Oh and I took more videos than I did pictures.
We prayed then ate lunch and afterwards were sent out to discuss groups. I did not enjoy that part because 1, it was freaking bright and 2, I was not particularly pleased with my group. I was hoping to be with Matar yet again but she ended up with Farah, Nisa and Dhe3. D: Also, I had no idea what the adults were saying about this mentor thing.

*Warning, Swearing* Back inside, we were told what to do, which is a fucking stupid yell. Our group was called Annisa. I hate yell2 stuffs and for your information I prefer being an individualist than a teamworker. But if I am in a team, I try my best to contribute and take part vigorously. Which is what I did with my group, because none of them freaking helped me for the 1st 15 minutes when it came to thinking of a cheer [they were also silent and I was the one that blabbed]. Well, Annisa extended my idea [which is to use the 'Who Let the Dogs Out' song] and finally Aya thought of something which we ended up using and improving. Thank God. The mentor freakin pressured me though man, she was always telling ME to do this and do that, just because I'm the leader and that's only cause I'm the fucking oldest? Tell the other members to do something too lah, masa gua doank? Wtf happened to teamwork here?

Anyway later on the boys came in 'cause there was a lecture about the negatives and positives of a person's personality. I sat against a column away from Matar who was next to Umar *dies*. We were then given red and green paper in which we must write the good and bad points of a friend of our choice, to give to them personally. I got 5 + and 5 -, and was not surprised at any of them because I already know. Although I sort of disagree with Dhea saying I go bigheaded when someone compliments me, because I honestly think I don't, and if I do, it would most likely be a joke. Plus I believe I am not a crybaby anymore Dhe3.

Then it was Maghrib and we were free to do what we wanted, I think. I entered Room 3 where the window was, peeked out to check the wind and saw wonderful Umar who was wearing the red jacket and asked him something I forgot what. Poppy was speculating and questioned me if that was Umar or Hamzah and I said Umar, then she suddenly presented me a blue Nike jacket that looked exactly like the one Hamzah was wearing and I was staring at it, amazed. She told me to wear it so that we could be matching or something, then Ichay piped up and did those cie stuff I think but I said I don't like Hamzah anymore but Poppy urged me to borrow it so I accepted anyway. People started asking me things when I brought it to the room and I felt weird because of that and when I wore it too. Outside though, I found that it was extremely comfortable and warm [just like the person?] so I ignored the feeling and walked to the recreational area alone, where I saw my friends and Hamzah who I happily showed the jacket to. Surprisingly he gave a positive reaction, and that's when I felt thankful I borrowed it.

I don't know how but we both suddenly started walking away from the crowd and to the bird cage together talking about God knows what, but as usual, it doesn't matter because I haven't talked to him like that in a while. It must've been weird, 2 people wearing the same jacket strolling along together xD Dhea then noticed and shouted out 'AWWW HOW SWEET/ROMANTIC!' and started taking a picture but we looked away because for once, I was embarrassed. Thus, we separated and I randomly talked to Afdal about photography [OH WAIT that was what me and Hamzah were talking about!] and Elang and Buday interrupted. Buday wanted to shake hands with me but I rejected, then the eagle whispered something about missing his chance to Buday. ??

After that I think it was time to BBQ, sorry if I got the order wrong. We were disappointed and totally hated the sheer segregration that was conducted, because wouldn't it be funner if we did it together? Me, Md and Nisa went down to the beach the long way and when I tried to help out tears ran out of my eyes because the smoke was just too intense. Therefore I wandered about and found a cool alley inbetween the girls and boys' area. Jihad and Dasa/Ariq/Ocha/whoever found me, then Nisa and MD and Cania came along, or was it that I showed them a picture of the place then lead them there? Ah, who cares. It was such a cool alley, and so were the pictures. But it was a bit spooky and I think someone kept getting scared because of the shadows passing in the distance.

Then we had more free time; me, Carisa, Nisa and someone I forgot walked to the far end of the street and then back. I invited the boys but they stayed back to talk with Dhe3 and some other girls. Soon people started going inside but me and Matar went to the playground and mingled with the little boys, only to be told by a mentor that there was another freakin lecture! The time was 9 or something already. The lecture was held in the boys' villa now and talked about teenagers and future stuff and I was soooo sleepy. Mr. Erwin then showed us a video of Palestine war stuff and it was gore ._. Finally at 10:30 past, we got to go back inside (: But we all slept after 12AM, doing random stuff. I remember dominating Dhe3, Nisa and Carisa's bed because it ws awesomely soft and I couldn't get up so they were irritated. XD I slept on the floor next to Farah with my sleeping bag and trustee flower pillow.

Day 2,
We all woke up [I was one of the last] at 3:00 AM because of Annisa's hilarious alarm which Nisa immediately transferred into her phone. Downstairs, we had a Quran reading session then prayed Tahajud. I didn't feel that sleepy even though I only had 3 hours of sleep. At 4-ish we attended a Muhasabah at the dudes', the place was really cool, lit with candles and all. But it seemed like someone died. The man talked about things I hear countless of times and already understand so I couldn't bring the emotion to myself - besides, like I said, my tears seem to have ran out didn't they? It would've been better if I cried though.

Back at our villa we did morning stuff and were forced to do more group work. This time though, my teammates contributed more and we actually discussed our assembly presentation [which was a comedic shooting for an Islamic TV show by the way] and was happy with it - although we didn't have enough time to prepare. We even went outside to plan it out and laughed. The mentor still depended on me too much though. Soon breakfast called and at 7:30AM the outbond started. The games were amusing and fun, and that's when I felt that Annisa really was my team. We failed like 3/4x though, thus receiving 4 lipstick marks on our faces xD I did not take videos or pictures because I left my camera in the room and had no time to fetch it, sadly.

When that was done at 9:30, we had another break, I think. I forgot the array of everything after the outbond, but I remember everyone talking about a boy called Rio that looks like Carisa and the assembly that all groups performed at except mine because we did not have a script. I don't have anything to say about it. Adit [I was quite interested in him too] and Dhea were the best participants. When it was lunch time I already returned the jacket back to Poppy; I seriously wore that thing everytime you know. The wind was awesome [I spun around once to feel it and saw Boey doing the same - then he smiled at me 0.0;; It was a loose, natural smile. How sweet! (: I smiled back.] but it kept freaking blowing away my kerupuks. Hamzah inquired me about someone and I got in a fit at him. Actually, because of that and another private reason, I ignored him 'til it was time to go home, but I bet he didn't even notice because all the girls were surrounding him, Umar and Khalid at their car at some point at home time, which was 2pm, so why should he even bother with me? Me and Matar/Nisa/whoever went over to Arya and tried to converse, then the other girls rampaged and we had a 'fangirl' picture taken. xD

After taking pictures alone and walking to the Zoo thing with Ocha, it was time to head home. But to my surprise, we were gonna go quadbiking! There was DnF, Nisa, Umzah, Dhe3, Annisa and Anniza. No CC sadly, they went already. Oddly enough Hamzah started talking to me so I replied; guess the ignoring is over. Anyway, quadbiking was wicked fun, and it's been nearly 2 years since I rode one. I drove the small quad though so I didn't have full experience, but towards the end I drove it wildly and super fast which caused MD who was with me to keep screaming. The bumpy parts were also win, but when I rode it with the big bike I got scared XD The small one was safer ;D Watching breathtaking Umar was very fulfilling too [and I know he'll never read this!] x) In the bumpy parts he lifted his butt off the chair which made him look cooler and pro and more awesome than he already is. I took lots of videos whilst my dad took fail pictures. Then at 4 we went home yet I didn't even pray Asar yet ._. I slept in the car but at home I watched TV for hours and did the normal laptop drill. Guess I'm a weak sleeper huh?

OK so, basically I don't know whether I had fun in that Sanlat or not [and no I did not copy Hamzah]. Sure I had a few good moments, but to be honest, they didn't help me with the overall feeling, and the feeling of when I was there. I seriously thought it could've been better, but how, I don't know either. There was nothing special, unique or happy enough to remember. Well, maybe the Hamzah walk thing and stupidity in our room were memorable but that's basically all I can think of. Even during the event I did not have continuous smiles like everyone else. I wasn't exactly emo either, but I felt like I was alone, like nothing was satisfying, because it wasn't. See, this is why that place is bad news.
If you were miraculously wondering about the remorse of bad memories thing, I'll say it now. April 2007, Al Ghariya. Sekompond had a nice outing for themselves and everything was going great until Bs did something stupid by accident which caused a dear friend of hers to get angry at her, resulting in a fight, which didn't end the next day, or the next, or the next. So she was in deep sadness throughout the entire session of activities Om Susilo held, the entire time they played baseball and kasti and had extreme fun, basically... the entire 2nd day. You all know who I'm talking about.
So frequently at the Sanlat I kept thinking of that time, and no, not because I am a person who can't erase bad memories, but because the place just reminds me of yet another time me and Fajar can't repeat anymore, just like the fireworks thing. There is no more Al Ghariya events for us both to experience together happily. He made me feel, even though every single Indon Qatar friend I have was there, that something was missing, and it was him. Has any of you ever felt that? I don't even know what he would do with me if he was there, but he would be THERE, talking to me nonetheless and even if all he could have said was 'Eh ambilin kerupuk dong', I would accept that as everything to make up for 2 years ago. I don't care how it could have went. I just find it really awful how we both missed 2 chances in major events because of our past fights and his holiday in the South-East. Times that can never come back.

The next day in Facebook people started posting photos of the Sanlat and as hours passed I couldn't help but to ponder that photos hide away sorrow that is actually present in the moment, but not the actual photo itself.