Qatar National Day

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Qatar is stupid for changing their national day t 18th december, yesterday. >__>;;
btw i wanna ask u guys smethin, shud i type in proper english in my blog or let it stay slang?

so anyway, on t th actual event. we reached th post office's parking lot at 5:30-6pm n evrybody gathered. i wore a denim jacket n realised i shudnt have cz its nt an efficient source of warmth.
we walkd t th corniche n i tuk loads of pics which caused me t get lost so i calld hamzah n found em on a patch of grass. ther wer a lot of ppl walking around o__O;; nobody i noticed tho. o yea umar lukd so fly n awesome n hot i wudnt have felt th cold weather.
i thot CC wud be with us bt they wernt T__T they wer on th other side near their home, too far t be with us )x dhe3 ws with them as well. neverthless i had fun with whoever ws ther anyway.
from 6 til 10 evrything ws so random, n FREEZING. we tuk a lot of photos n hung out on th empty road [lol empty roads r so epic 8D], children n toddlers destroyed flowers n ran around frequently n acted gay so many times, we talkd abt weird stuff n teased indra's sms n phone-age with ardinny, were amazed n warmed up bcuz of th glowy purple light, n lots more.
then we got bored n dcided t take a walk t th other side *sings hannah montana* -i hate th song btw.
i personally thot it ws an awesome walk. i ws with hamzah n we talkd a lot bt i forgot abt wt tho it dsnt matter. we stopped occasionally n at one of em indra lent me his jacket which ws red n rele big on me tht hamzah sed i lukd like a midget. it ws warm tho x] btw andin already appeared. she dhea n indra wer tgether all th time lolz.
we stopped for a long time in th oryx area cz we wnted t wait for abid or smethin o__O;; yea, it ws rele time cnsuming. we thot th fireworks wer at 9 bt turns out it ws at 10. how stupid n late is tht?! in tht area we fussed a lot abt hamzah's tie cz dhea ruined it. xDD;;
later on we cntinued walking bt nt so far - it ws rele rele crowded. we met up with abid n his friends including boii n me n hamzah started discussing very intently. they dcided t walk back n this time i rmember wt me n hamzah talkd abt. i havent talkd like tht with hamzah for a long long time.. it felt nice, cz we actually expressed our views n 'feelings' [?] insted of simply sayin random stuff like we do evry other time. so yea, bless those walks.
it ws then tht we settled at sme area nt far from BALHAMBAR, a restaurant. i sed tht its th arabic for BAH HUMBUG *gets shot*. i rmembered tht my mom told me t cme back t our original area for th fireworks so me fadhli n khalid went cz th others wudnt. i like those guys. i actually talkd with khalid as if we ever dd bfore [which we havent for 5 yrs]. he n fadhli r so humorous n iseng.
back at th area i watched these men with robot-lukin kangaroo shoes. they lukd so fun n awesome. i dcided t go back t th rest of th gang cz they wanna watch th fireworks ther. we waited a while n then at 10pm it finally started! i rushed t a random area n ddnt realise i wud end up with hamzah. indra n umar came t us after tho. it ws th 1st time i watched fireworks with a guy lol. XD *well if u include umar n indra, GUYS. it ddnt last more than 15 minutes i think. my cmera battery ws already dead x__x;; o ya alkhor ppl wer seen too.
my parents wer rele bawel abt goin home. so i rushed t th car. it ws past 10:30 n i dozed with music playing, smething ive never done bfore o___O;; when i woke up it ws playin maybe misery by quietdrive. i lukd at my watch n saw th time : 11:47. WTF WT A LONG CAR TRIP!!

ok so tht ws th joyous, optimistic section. if u dnt wanna read anythin sentimental, negative or sad, which is wt th next part cntains, then i suggest u stop now. :D

so. as much as th amount of fun i had during tht nite, i cudnt help bt t feel extremely bad n depressed in th car after thinkin abt wt happened. i felt like i ddnt deserve th happiness at all, when in fact th 18th december ws th first fun day ive ever had in this month [eid ws amusing bt nt exactly FUN fun]. i ws alone for half of it, rmember? evrybody went t different countries n had excellent times whilst i stayed at home bein bored. so y dd i think tht i shudnt have been happy?
th nswers lies in th past. i rmember it very well. it ws th 25th of October 2007, thursday. all of us wer in CC's house gathering n planning t walk t th corniche t watch fireworks [bt i dnt kno for wt]. ther ws only 1 person i cared abt tht wsnt in th household. tht person calld me t say we shud meet up later. soon we all walkd tgether t th corniche n i ws havin a blast. when we reached, th person calld me again n i ws upset t hear tht he ws in th sheraton area whilst we wer exactly across from them. he even brot food for us. so in th end we cudnt watch th fireworks tgether at all. we wer separated. bt back then, rite in those moments, i felt fine. we cud do this again next year, i thot freely. th next day, th 26th, he got mad at me bcuz he felt so alone n thus our 4th fight ws created. bt it wsnt even my fault, so he sed sorry later at nite n we got over it.
this year, when i heard we wer goin t th corniche t watch fireworks, i rmembered tht incident. it ws stuck in my head for th first 10 minutes of my car journey home. bt thruout th nite, i kept thinkin of th person who watched fireworks alone. this ws our last chance t make up for th unfortunate fate tht occured last year bt bcuz he wsnt in th country, th chance ws lost, missed. as i walked with hamzah i kept thinkin, 'wt if tht person ws here, rite now, walkin with me?'. as i watched th fireworks i kept thinkin, 'i wnder how he'd react t this weather, those amazing lights, all this craziness'. as i listened t music in th car, i kept thinkin 'y dus this have t happen now- t us?'
unless thers another fireworks show in 2009, im stuck with this horrible memory of never watchin fireworks - a special n memorable thing - with th person ive always wnted t watch them with since 2007. bt since another show is unlikely, i guess i cn say i will never be able t watch fireworks with fajar in my ntire life.