Finish it off... Help? Or Hell?
It's like.. 12AM already, I've been wanting to type an entry all day but only got round to it now 'cause I'm uploading photos... at this hour? Yeah, I'm nuts, only wasting valuable sleep time. I don't even know what to type about but I just feel like posting.
Mmm, school. I guess I had a good pre-registration, laughed a lot. Turns out Shaza knows that I'm a depressed person but only got round to mentioning it to me in the weekend. As usual the dreadful hours felt very lonely and I decided to stop pretending to be cheerful in Physics and unleashed my moody side to Jana. Oh yeah, I constantly listened to music from 3rd period up until home time. I discovered that I had an ICT essay to do but when I got home I realised I forgot my USB; I wanted to search thoroughly but after going to the bathroom I guess I forgot. Just now I checked my bag and I found it in the pocket. Shit. Peachey's gonna kill me. Oh well, like I care.
Err, I noticed how Fajar kept walking alone inbetween classes, I mean I didn't even see him with Adam, which is shocking; and after school he and Iwan immediately went to their car. I got worried 'cause his lone-weirdness never reached this level before but I thought to myself how I have my own issues to consider right now, so I should keep the Fajar-worry to a minimum - 'cause face it, does he ever worry about me? Well maybe he does, but I never know that. I need to be selfish, for once. However, Cania suddenly reported that Fajar's back and I turned round and caught him laughing with Umar. I gotta say, I was upset, but relieved.
I walked with Iwan to their car [he commented on how I'm so emo] and Fajar just sort of swept off in front of us, he got in the vehicle so fast and never looked. Then I decided to go to iA 'cause wth do I do at home? It was boring though, we only wasted paper. The car was really full and all the girls were talking about various stuff but I listened only 1/3 of the time 'cause I wanted to listen to music and sing quietly. As I did so, I contemplated. One of them was about how I wish I can play an instrument 'cause I think I have a good sense of rhythm even if my ears are malfunctioned. I also silenty prayed.
What we did in iA
Home is where the heart dies, of course, so I had a bad time. Thank God there was America's Next Top Model. Nobody chatted with me 'til 7pm past, which was Cania. Sometimes freedom is tough. I really had nothing to do; I wanted to draw or something but my mind and heart was too focused with the missing pieces of my daily life. Ya Allah, I wanted to spend the rest of my afternoon sleeping 'cause of how bored I was. I kept staring at Fajar's MSN, thinking Come on, say hi, I'm over this already, I thought you'd be too; I know I'm the only one you chat with; so how could you stand being online but not having anyone- i mean, ME, chat with you? God, it makes me remember how every after school right when I get home he always opens up a window and we chat 'til Maghrib or even when it's time for him to sleep. How could he not miss that? And how could he not miss our little short talks at school? Class-transfer and home is really boring without him. It's so quiet, too quiet, I can't stand the silence. I want to be confident/big-headed and say that when we have our silent distances [diem2an] or issues he seems less happier. I've never said anything like that before about any of my friends, 'cause I'm such an unsure yet stubborn person [s'that possible?], but for once I need a thought of mine to be right. Amin. Besides, who would be happier if they have issues with their own best friends? I hope he remembers that's what we are. Amin again.
Mmm, school. I guess I had a good pre-registration, laughed a lot. Turns out Shaza knows that I'm a depressed person but only got round to mentioning it to me in the weekend. As usual the dreadful hours felt very lonely and I decided to stop pretending to be cheerful in Physics and unleashed my moody side to Jana. Oh yeah, I constantly listened to music from 3rd period up until home time. I discovered that I had an ICT essay to do but when I got home I realised I forgot my USB; I wanted to search thoroughly but after going to the bathroom I guess I forgot. Just now I checked my bag and I found it in the pocket. Shit. Peachey's gonna kill me. Oh well, like I care.
Err, I noticed how Fajar kept walking alone inbetween classes, I mean I didn't even see him with Adam, which is shocking; and after school he and Iwan immediately went to their car. I got worried 'cause his lone-weirdness never reached this level before but I thought to myself how I have my own issues to consider right now, so I should keep the Fajar-worry to a minimum - 'cause face it, does he ever worry about me? Well maybe he does, but I never know that. I need to be selfish, for once. However, Cania suddenly reported that Fajar's back and I turned round and caught him laughing with Umar. I gotta say, I was upset, but relieved.
I walked with Iwan to their car [he commented on how I'm so emo] and Fajar just sort of swept off in front of us, he got in the vehicle so fast and never looked. Then I decided to go to iA 'cause wth do I do at home? It was boring though, we only wasted paper. The car was really full and all the girls were talking about various stuff but I listened only 1/3 of the time 'cause I wanted to listen to music and sing quietly. As I did so, I contemplated. One of them was about how I wish I can play an instrument 'cause I think I have a good sense of rhythm even if my ears are malfunctioned. I also silenty prayed.
What we did in iA
Sudah, maafkan aku
Segala salahku
Dan bila kau tetap bisu
Ungkapkan salahmu
Dan aku sifatku
Dan aku khilafku
Dan aku cintaku
Dan aku rinduku
Sudah lupakan semua
Segala berubah
Dan kita terlupa..
Dan kita terluka
Kutanya malam,
Dapatkah kau lihatnya perbedaan
Yang tak terungkapkan
Tapi mengapa, kau tak berubah
Ada apa denganmu?
More formal way to say it: Is There Something Wrong?
More teenager way to say it: What's up with you man?
Segala salahku
Dan bila kau tetap bisu
Ungkapkan salahmu
Dan aku sifatku
Dan aku khilafku
Dan aku cintaku
Dan aku rinduku
Sudah lupakan semua
Segala berubah
Dan kita terlupa..
Dan kita terluka
Kutanya malam,
Dapatkah kau lihatnya perbedaan
Yang tak terungkapkan
Tapi mengapa, kau tak berubah
Ada apa denganmu?
More formal way to say it: Is There Something Wrong?
More teenager way to say it: What's up with you man?
1 replies:
XDXDXDXD that's wt we did in IA too..
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