I wanted to buy 2, 1 for them and 1 for you, but I was too late
Gah I'm supposed to be studying for my 6-chapter Maths test tpi g mulai2 krna g tenang klo g nge-blog dlu. How stupid is that?
I've had an awkward week. Good, bad, confusing, sad, weird and happy things happened so I can't seem to find the real emotion behind these last 3 days. One thing's for sure I'm not in a good mood so I still haven't typed about Thursday and Friday.
Well on Sunday I went to IA and we walked for 1Km outside the school for 14 minutes. At home I panicked about the 3 incomplete essays I was meant to hand in on Monday; it was too much work so I was firm to skip school the next day.
Monday was OK, it got worse at home. I skipped an entire day of school just to complete my research, I repeat, research, not typing up. My mom wasn't happy about it but she let me off anyway. I won't do it again.
I arrived to school at 12:50pm and I realised that hardly anyone noticed I wasn't there for the nearly 6 hours. I even inquired Hamzah and he was like 'But you're here' I think and I told him I just came, guh I guess he didn't see me come in.
I couldn't find Matar or my typical after-school people and wanted to talk to Fajar but he was too engrossed with the boys. When I called Hamzah's name though he called out 'Bs' to me and I was like what? and he was like blank. So we didn't talk.
Dhea wasn't in Primary so it was just me and Hamzah. It was kinda hot but windy and Riko came, yay! As usual I laughed and made fun of that guy so mm yea I pretty much had fun.
In the car it was just the Isyna boys, me and Ocha and I sat at the back so I could talk to them and it was amusing.
At home I had it rough, I hurted myself on purpose just to help someone and I decided I won't do that ever again either. I don't even like the idea. I took in Hamzah's advice and I guess felt comforted.
I stayed up 'til 1AM doing 2 of my essays, it wasn't all that tiring really. When I finished I went to bed but read a book 'til 3:30. I'm such a naughty girl.
I prepared 24QR and found out it was no use. Tuesday felt breezy, but when I got home I felt bad. I thought home is where the heart is, seriously. I skipped Chemistry for this Road Safety assembly thing and when I got to ICT, me and my classmates started researching the presenter guy, Basil Shaaban. I put my essays on Peachey's table 'cause I couldn't find her and I didn't want to face her anyway.
After school I was eager to see people's class photos but I only saw Aman, Farah, Dhea and Nisa's. How lame is that? Khalid and Fajar didn't even take theirs. And I forgot to ask the twins.
Photography club was great I guess, but felt different from the usual. I was with Carisa, Dhea and Hamzah mostly, we took pics of the footballers [sadly Umar didn't come] and then some plants at the front and a Security Guard. Sabbagh's kid called Nick I think stalked us and Carisa called him a sonofasabbagh. I laughed.
On my way upstairs I saw Adam and Arif, Adam was like 'What are you guys doing' and I said 'Uh, photography duh' and then he asked for my camera so I gave it to him and he took it downstairs; I was like whaa? but headed to the class anyway, he came back and told the teacher that he stole someone's camera, found it from the floor and when I asked him what he was doing he walked out the room -___-;; Weird boy.
When I got home my dad gave me mail especially from Canada. I was happy to be acknowledged by the universities and added them to my external mail collection. I have one from the SATs, right from the USA.
I realised how quiet Fajar has been for the past days. If the reason is because of what I think it is, then I'm gonna kill him. But if it's because of games, then I forgive him. He doesn't even talk at school, let alone chat. I'm not worried or anything, just quite concerned and curious 'cause we're fine and I already know that. Well I am really busy anyway so I guess this is for the no-disturbance benefit.
I just remembered about the Maths test yesterday so I couldn't study then but I knew about it clearly today so I still don't get why I haven't opened my book. I'm an idiot, failing life on purpose when I have so much potential. I reached home at 3:30 and was very tired so I couldn't start. I rested and all 'til Maghrib, determined to begin at 6. But I didn't. Then I was really sleepy so at 7 I slept on the couch, telling Ocha to wake me up 15 minutes later but when my eyes jolted open I saw 8pm on the clock. I wasted my time, and here I am now blogging which wastes even more.
What is wrong with me? Is it because of procrastination? Or just sheer laziness? Or no motivation in education? Or do my mood swings have the greatest effect? I don't feel all that swingy, just my same self with a few grudges... hatreds... yeah. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with me actually, it's just the way I am. OK that's all.
I've had an awkward week. Good, bad, confusing, sad, weird and happy things happened so I can't seem to find the real emotion behind these last 3 days. One thing's for sure I'm not in a good mood so I still haven't typed about Thursday and Friday.
Well on Sunday I went to IA and we walked for 1Km outside the school for 14 minutes. At home I panicked about the 3 incomplete essays I was meant to hand in on Monday; it was too much work so I was firm to skip school the next day.
Monday was OK, it got worse at home. I skipped an entire day of school just to complete my research, I repeat, research, not typing up. My mom wasn't happy about it but she let me off anyway. I won't do it again.
I arrived to school at 12:50pm and I realised that hardly anyone noticed I wasn't there for the nearly 6 hours. I even inquired Hamzah and he was like 'But you're here' I think and I told him I just came, guh I guess he didn't see me come in.
I couldn't find Matar or my typical after-school people and wanted to talk to Fajar but he was too engrossed with the boys. When I called Hamzah's name though he called out 'Bs' to me and I was like what? and he was like blank. So we didn't talk.
Dhea wasn't in Primary so it was just me and Hamzah. It was kinda hot but windy and Riko came, yay! As usual I laughed and made fun of that guy so mm yea I pretty much had fun.
In the car it was just the Isyna boys, me and Ocha and I sat at the back so I could talk to them and it was amusing.
At home I had it rough, I hurted myself on purpose just to help someone and I decided I won't do that ever again either. I don't even like the idea. I took in Hamzah's advice and I guess felt comforted.
I stayed up 'til 1AM doing 2 of my essays, it wasn't all that tiring really. When I finished I went to bed but read a book 'til 3:30. I'm such a naughty girl.
I prepared 24QR and found out it was no use. Tuesday felt breezy, but when I got home I felt bad. I thought home is where the heart is, seriously. I skipped Chemistry for this Road Safety assembly thing and when I got to ICT, me and my classmates started researching the presenter guy, Basil Shaaban. I put my essays on Peachey's table 'cause I couldn't find her and I didn't want to face her anyway.
After school I was eager to see people's class photos but I only saw Aman, Farah, Dhea and Nisa's. How lame is that? Khalid and Fajar didn't even take theirs. And I forgot to ask the twins.
Photography club was great I guess, but felt different from the usual. I was with Carisa, Dhea and Hamzah mostly, we took pics of the footballers [sadly Umar didn't come] and then some plants at the front and a Security Guard. Sabbagh's kid called Nick I think stalked us and Carisa called him a sonofasabbagh. I laughed.
On my way upstairs I saw Adam and Arif, Adam was like 'What are you guys doing' and I said 'Uh, photography duh' and then he asked for my camera so I gave it to him and he took it downstairs; I was like whaa? but headed to the class anyway, he came back and told the teacher that he stole someone's camera, found it from the floor and when I asked him what he was doing he walked out the room -___-;; Weird boy.
When I got home my dad gave me mail especially from Canada. I was happy to be acknowledged by the universities and added them to my external mail collection. I have one from the SATs, right from the USA.
I realised how quiet Fajar has been for the past days. If the reason is because of what I think it is, then I'm gonna kill him. But if it's because of games, then I forgive him. He doesn't even talk at school, let alone chat. I'm not worried or anything, just quite concerned and curious 'cause we're fine and I already know that. Well I am really busy anyway so I guess this is for the no-disturbance benefit.
I just remembered about the Maths test yesterday so I couldn't study then but I knew about it clearly today so I still don't get why I haven't opened my book. I'm an idiot, failing life on purpose when I have so much potential. I reached home at 3:30 and was very tired so I couldn't start. I rested and all 'til Maghrib, determined to begin at 6. But I didn't. Then I was really sleepy so at 7 I slept on the couch, telling Ocha to wake me up 15 minutes later but when my eyes jolted open I saw 8pm on the clock. I wasted my time, and here I am now blogging which wastes even more.
What is wrong with me? Is it because of procrastination? Or just sheer laziness? Or no motivation in education? Or do my mood swings have the greatest effect? I don't feel all that swingy, just my same self with a few grudges... hatreds... yeah. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with me actually, it's just the way I am. OK that's all.
2 replies:
hey i realized you were gone... guess it didn't matter to you huh.
u did?
i ddnt kno tht 0.0
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