Requiem of a Dream

so last nite at 8:40 i dcided t go t nisa's house n had quite a jolly time i guess. i remember fajar n umar talkin abt how hamzah has girls fawning over him now bt in th future he'll be begging umar for th girls tht will fawn over HIM. then umar dd a kneeling begging pose n it ws so cute. wait.. i think it ws a 'will u marry me' pose actually o__O;; anyway i went home at 10:40-ish. we dd rele random stuff. i kinda felt better bein ther.

last nite i had a memorable dream, it ws long cz i ditched kaifa n woke up at 9:40. i put up tht title cz hamzah ws playin tht song last nite n it relates t this entry's topic har2. its been months since i slept til tht late. ive been havin a lot dreams this week with certain ppl in it bt i only remember this one in a bit more detail. i tried recallin evrythin after i woke up bt now.. theyre kinda lost. ther ws a dream i had a few days ago wher it went smethin like this:

it ws a boy's birthday n i ws invited t join him n th other ppl he invited [ which wer just th boys, so i ws th only girl ] t go t CC n hang out. i dnt wanna mention any names, its a secret. in th dream i woke up suddenly n lukd at th time n realised i ws 2hrs late in joining th b-day celebration. i ws panicking n worried sick. apparently th grown-ups had an arisan or smethin in my house so i had trouble gettin ready cz th bathrooms wer occupied n i remember om bangun appearin from one of em.
suddenly th dream turned into a vision of me n one of th boy's friends talking. th friend told me 'u kno bs.. he [ th bday boy ] told me he keeps imagining tht whenever he turns around u'll be ther running t him'. when th friend sed tht, an image of th boy turning around n me running t him appeared. it ws th most sweetest image in a dream ive ever had. n th reason y th bday boy imagined tht ws cz i never showed up. i woke up rite after i finished gettin ready n left th house t grab a taxi. how sad is tht?

well tday's dream ws rele unusual. th 1st part ws us on a roof which apparently held an arcade n an entrance to a hotel. in here i remember tht me n fajar wer talkin abt things n we played tgether like old times. i think we threw our shoes at each other n played th games. bt i dnt remember tht in detail.
suddenly we wer in an area wher ther ws one creepy house with an extremely long corridor running thru th middle of it. so on each side of th corridor ther ws a door tht led t a room. th walls wer green n gray n lukd old. ther ws no entrance door so th corridor lead outside. th carpet ws red. ther ws a fancy lukin house bsides th creepy one n it ws dark inside, so it lukd creepy too. we stood in front of tht [ outside ]. i had no idea wt we wer doin ther bt md forgot smethin in th creepy house bt she ws too scared t get it. fajar went inside th fancy house alone n i sed 'gud nite fajar' which meant tht he ws goin t sleep in ther.
then evryone went 'LUK!!' n i saw ghosts. they wer going from one side of th corridor t th other [ i.e. from th rite side of th house t th left side ]. they appeared from th doors like how ghosts do. ther wer like 3 of em i think. when i luk back its freaky bt while i ws ther i ddnt feel fear. then someone sed 'lets go near them!' n we dd. when we got very close they dd terrifying stuff n i think ppl screamed. one of em ended up crashing themselves on th wall n ther ws blood all over. wth?
from th side of th house someone sed 'its just from a projector!' n evryone rushed themselves twards it. th science bhind tht dusnt make sense. whilst others wer lukin thru th projector i saw smethin on fire bt i forgot wt it ws. it ws a scary fire. red.
anyway th area ws grassy rite so i think ppl had a BBQ. bt i ws doin smethin else. oddly enuff, i stood bhind hamzah who ws wearin th same thing as yesterday bt nt facing him. so we wer back t back. all of a sudden he linked my arms n hoisted me up his back o____O;; like this:-

ugh how bizarre. this is th 2nd time i've had 'piggyback rides' with him in my dreams >.>;; then th scene changed t me in my car. my dad ws driving. we wer in a city tht lukd like hong kong or smewher of th like. apparently he ws dropping off afdal t his house. WTH y is he in ther. oh wait, i think i kno. he lived in an apartment n it lukd old n worn-out. i dnt recall wt else happened afterwards.. or maybe it ended ther?

well anyway tday im gunna do my essays n study for maths. how thrilling. thank God thers a 1 month holiday.. i rele need t set myself straight. im so fed up of how life's been treating me. i wnted t make my last year of school memorable in a gud way. i wnted t have a sweet 16, even tho i kno its just a lie. ive been prayin from th bottom of my heart since th start of th year. i kno i have a lot of friends so y do i still feel lonely? i kno i always believe so y do i feel evrything's against me? i kno i dnt give up so y do i feel thers still no point in tryin? i kno im tryin t be an optimist so y do i still feel tht im a natural pessimist? i kno i cnt expect much from this friendship so y do i still feel tht things can work out? can things work out? r th conditions im havin now actually th start of my future? am i allowed t have a better life? its probably th only thing i want in earth now.