a brighter approach

wee this entry shall talk abt thurs~

well tday i dcided im nt gunna be all depressed cz of fajar anymore cz it wont do me any gud, so i ws quite smiley all day =D i also dcided t hate him/nt care abt him [ bt in kempo i realised i cnt n dnt wanna ]. i dd a simple physics test n my chem test ws OK too, i dnt think ill get a close-t-an-E this time. XD
i bot him a magazine cz he requested it on sunday n lukin for th person ws annoyin smpe i used up 2 breaks! n th darn barachievy wtever woman is never in th library =.=;;

anyway afta school i asked hamzah if he's jam-2ing n he sed yes n i sed heh wt r u doin n he sed badminton n i screamed WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT i thot tht ws 2-3 bt then he sed no its 1-2 n i raged at indra askin y he never told me bt he just found out this afternoon >.> rite afta tht i wailed n moaned n circled places sayin Y DD I HAVTA WEAR A FREAKIN SKIRT [ hamzah sed then dont wear one OK2 i kno how much u hate it! ] n i asked ppl if i cud borrow their pants.
once i sed aloud 'dus anyone have any pants i can borrow' n umar who ws passin sed 'me' n he put on a 'whoops' kinda face IHRPQU5YH3NJK6NWT6 btw fajar brot th p.e. bag i gave him again bleh.
i stalked cania n marsya t th ICT room n on my way i saw nisa n askd if i cud borrow HER pants bt in th end i cudnt. then matar came t th rescue cz i ws able t wear her jeans as she brot her p.e. kit! =D HUZZA MATA

when me n matar peeped in th sports hall th only gender playin badminton ws BOYS. we wer liek WTZEHALL wt r arab boys doin ther too!? i saw doniaji n umzah n hariz n adi toeng2 indra ws playin chess with cania n marsya apparently.
we stared inside th hall for 5 minutes n i had th urge t greet hamzah who ws standin against th wall bt figured t check out ze chess pepols n t do so we hadta pass th yr7-9 footballers n i purposely ignored fajar cz i ddnt wanna luk at him. in th library i watched indra n IWAN play o__O;; wt is he doin ther?! we stayed til liek 1:25pm or somethin [ gosh chess luks so complicating ] n dragged indra back t th hall.

back at th hall me n carisoot played against indra n he never made mistakes DUH. i ws liek such a noob compared t carisa n after 10 minutes lavinia appeared n she played with him against us 2. then adi appeared n bcame my partner n th way he hit n moved around creeped me out. soon i ws kicked out n me n hamzah watched th 4 play. then i thot of an idea n asked hamzah if he'd like t play tgether n he ws liek sure [ i think ].
we playd inbetween 2 nets [ very sad i kno ] n he made less amount of mistakes than i. i ws quite impressed actually. nice t see him do somethin physical well instead of readin a book. when we hit our cocks.. i mean, shuttlecocks.. they wer always so high tht they nearly touched th ceiling. we played for 5 minutes or so n he transferred himself t pingpong which idk how t play.
later on indra taught me how t do feet movements [ cz thts wt i lack doin ] which wer so pro n hard-lukin t do bt seemd effective. i failed at doin em @@ then afta carisa&lavinia played against me&hamzah. hamzah ws starin somewher n i followed his eyes n i saw fajar inside th changin room entrance place n i asked him 'dd he see us?' n hamzah went 'y shud i care'.

all th boys n myself walkd t th masjid area. i only rememberd tht ocha n nisa n dhea had afta school activities too when i reached. being th last, me n hamzah talked abt his parental n laptop issues last nite on th way ther. we also talkd abt quietdrive n shade's children i think. as i stood waitin in front of th gate i saw tht th boys ddnt even wudhu yet n wer playing around insted n i stared at my watch n scold them tht asar is near n fajar sed 'msih lama kli' n i went AUDHAISUHAG sholatin earlier is better stupid! *in my head
indra came forth n started talkin t me then all of a sudden i blabbed t him all abt how me n fajar r havin another fight n i xplained t him th convo n felt fury inside of me. i also told him my resolution which is t try n forget abt him [ as in.. wt we used t have ] n hamzah muncul-ed twards th end dcidin t listen in too rite bfore his mother came. afta indra finished sholatin i ranted on again then left with a proud smile on my face.

my mother ordered for me t go with fajar t kempo n my head ws refusin to bt my heart ws unconsciously agreeing, cz when farah sed tht i shud go with her father i sed all sorts of stuff so tht we can join fajar's car insted. he opened a chat sayin 'bs kempo ikut siapa' n i sed 'kmu' n then he sed 'ywdah'. thots wer explodin in my head: y dd u say my name sgala sih?! i thot u dnt wanna talk t me! say somethin else coba! bla3! u kno th drill. i complained t indra abt his PM which talkd abt adam n felt serious rancor. then th bell rang n when i opened th door th-boy-who-i-tried-t-hate ws lukin rite into my eyes n i nervously turned away t get my sandals.
in th car i talkd t dnf abt my iA experiences cz i actually wnted him t hear abt it cz i never had th chance t tell him due t th problems arising since tuesday. when he's solemn n quiet i always wonder wt he's thinkin. i remembered how i ws raving at indra on how i am gunna get over him just 30 minutes bfore i finally lukd inside myself n realised tht i cant ever hate him n he'll always have some meanin in my life.

in kempo i ws glad t see elang bt mortified when sensei rifai or wtever his name is marched in. we wer like 'we're dooomed','i hope he dusnt teach us','we're gunna die' n all tht stuff. i felt very sleepy bt after an hour i felt quite fresh. in th warm-up i ws bside freakishly-serious cania who scared me n fajar ws diagonally bhind me. i laughed at th story dhe3 told me abt th potter puppet pals. lets have a beach party ;DD then in kyu mode we wer with sensei hadi alhamdulillahirrobbilalamin n for 15 minutes th kyu 1 ppl wer with us. we hadta make 3 lines n he suggested for th short ppl t be at th front [ i ws at th front >.> ] n elang who ws rite bside me had fajar bhind him n i heard th-boy-who-i-cnt-hate say 'lang kmu kan lbih tinggi dri gua' n elang just shrugged n stayed wher he ws.
we learnt kirinuki n bla3 nuki n tobireng geri [ as in perfected it ] n some ryu bla3 yoshi or somethin. when th kyu 1 ppl left th sensei moved elang n put calvin in his place bt fajar ws th one who went forward n ended up bein bside me. it felt weird havin him next t me for like 15 minutes. i had a feeling he kept lukin at my direction bt prhaps he ws seein umzah's progress. then we all dd partner work, i ws with errin. later on we all scrambled evrywher n practised with other ppl as usual n elang n fajar wer doin this marriage proposal pose tht related t th defense we wer doin XD it ws funny. me n cania sang ken's orange soda i do i do i do thang n dhe3 went bwaha. when he ws talkin with dhe3 n carisa n cania n stuff i felt a twinge of .. idk.. somethin.
soon elang came next t me t be fajar's partner n this time tht boy faced my way insted of facin th same way as me. u kno sometimes i think he talks t me bt indirectly. in one of th drink breaks somethin ws sed tht made me so curious tht i bothered elang abt it til th end of th session. when we wer lining up t end th lesson i ws standin at th front as usual [ so i can count ]. th sensei sed stuff abt linin up with th person in front of u n i ws wonderin who ws bhind me n i ws smiling cz of somethin. when i turned around t see who it ws i saw fajar lukin rite into my eyes just like at th door at home n i quickly turned my head back cz wth ws i supposed t do?! God y dus he luk at me like tht? its not scary.. its just.. idk..

i slept at 9:15pm cz i ws freakin tired.