'nothing'

if evrything t u is nothing.. dus tht mean i am too?

kaifa ws damn boring as usual i wish i skipped it. we have an effin h/w t do n i am so nt bothered t do it at all. th thought of havin a pnginepan on th 25th december annoys me like hell.

kempo ws very fun tho. elang appeared bt he ws partenered with calvin so i ws with fajar again. we had sensei hadi, again. bt ther wer no seniors so farah n cania kept disturbing us. fajar knew how t do evrything n i felt like an idiot cz i constantly sed 'i have no idea wt t do' n 'eh fajar gmn sih?' n 'aahh i cnt do it!' i always got th moves wrong too. th stupid thing ws fajar always dd th main moves, e.g. when we wer learning a tangkisan i hadta be th one t hold his wrist as he practised so i ddnt get a turn getting used t it at all. bein fajar's partner is nice tho cz we always talk. he told me abt how his parents wer when they wer young n it ws very entertaining. they wer total badass kids, which xplains fajar n iwan. twards th end tho we kinda got disintegrated cz i got mad at him for sayin im old, thus i kicked n hit him all th time afterwards. he calld me 'ganas' n i ws enraged bt elang supported me by tellin me t smile n stuff.

i am so busy starting from now =___= i have a maths test tmorrow which im a tad panicking for, bt my greatest anxiety lies in th chemistry mock held afta school on wednesday. y cnt it be on thursday's 2hr lesson? th grade ill get will affect my university acceptance. im so scared. God help me, amin. then thers tht maths mock next sunday, i forgot evrythin t do with curved graphs which is horrible n th physics on wednesday/tuesday. n dnt frget peachey's stupid essays.

a few minutes ago i felt weird so i went t my room n laid down on my bed only t find tears starting t fall. i finally cried after like.. 8 days? its quite a record since 2008 started. n th most idiotic thing ws tht i had no effin idea wt i cried for. maybe i felt horrible cz i ws ignored by fajar who is always paying attention more t his games n anime than his own best friend.. if he calls me one. i kno he's freakin 13 bt srsly he shud cnsider ppl cz theyre wt u rele need daily. i rspect him at school whenever he chooses t talk t umar n khalid n adam n keima even when im nearby. i just leave him alone. bt i cnt stand tht even in chat he picks somethin else. just bcuz we're already baikan dsnt mean u shud do this t me..
im also startin t feel things r gettin worse again or maybe its just cz im close t gettin my period? or maybe cz im stressed? who knows.

i wanna leave this country as fast as i can. i wanna be in college. i wanna do somethin different.
oh how i hate this life.. astaghfirullah.. if thts wt im supposed t say abt it.