DESULTOentRY

th title is yet another pun which u shall figure out on ur own t2h


tday - tuesday.. tis teh suck. well not RELE bt it dd suck a bit. suck as in nothin happened, nothin t do with me bein sad n emo n stuff t2h. as usual lessons went on as normal n btw i wore my robot shirt n lotsa ppl liked it ;DD
ther ws a wonderful guy tht wore a kemeja. GOD I WISH THEY HAD A PROPER ENGLISH WORD FOR THT! they call it western-style shirt wtf. they shud call it TO-TABLE get it?! ther ws also a wonderful korean-popstar-lukin guy. ther ws also a wonderful guy tht luks wonderful evryday no matter wt he wears. GUYS R WONDERFUL T LUK AT <3
well we all got our reports n i ws quite surprised at th 'satisfactory' i got for chemistry [ which dad ddnt get disappointed at AT ALL *love u dad~ ] n went meh at th gud for ict and oo at th excellents for math n physics. afta school i lgsung serbu t th guys cz i ddnt get t talk with fajar tday n i wnted t make fun of his report *im such a nice friend! =D
N THER WS SOMETHIN MOCK-WORTHY tho i shan't distribute even tho he put it in his PM XD i ws like fajar ure stupid i wonder wt ur dad will say n then he convincingly explained [ he dus tht evrytime i talk bad at him ] how he dus all his h/w n gets higher grades than his friend who got an excellent bt still th stupid teacher gave him a poor. i saw tht his behaviour ws satisfactory i think. o__O;; wt dus tht boy DO at school?! i also lukd at hamzah n umar n khalid n iwan n fadhli n th girl's reports. i think hamzah got th best one from th dudes xDD;; or ws it umair.

at home i wasted my time by lukin at RO screenshots insted of doin h/w or studyin for chem n i wondered wher Mr. Harrison went - i thot he ws punished bt turns out he ws sleepin. at 4:30-ish i went outside n tuk a short fresh walk around th kompond n iwan ws in th court playin with a futbol.

at 5:30pm+ i went t education city for a university fair~ th place is EFFIN WIN. i am so considerin goin ther. th fair ws at carnegie mellon so me fathar n mothar went in th building. OMG TH INTERIOR WS JUST AS COOL. THER WS A LARGE SPACE FILLED WITH CHAIRS N CARPETS WHER PPL JUST LOUNGE N USE TH INTERNET. THER WS EVEN A RANDOM GLASS THT LUKD LIKE A WINDOW BT WS ACTUALLY A DOOR THT SLIDES. ALL ARCHITECTURAL PRAISES BE UPON EDUCATION CITY. i wnted t take 304990 pix bt it ws night time so th pic quality ws bad. n ther wer lotsa arab women so im afraid t take any shots with them around.

UNFORTUNATELY, like th sucky tuesday it ws, th event ws EPIC FAIL. th ad clearly sed it wud start at 6pm bt insted it bgan at 6:30 n i xpected a slideshow of pix of th universities n infos bt wt do i get? A HIDEOUSLY BORING SPEECH THT I SED T CARISA 'CUD BE LONG ENUFF THT I CAN SKALIAN SHOLAT SUBUH HERE'. it ws in ARABIC, PLUS, it ws BORING!!!!! i wnted t SLEEP! i shudve brot my earphones ckck. ther ws one of those suggestion papers like wt they have in restaurants n hotels n it asked 'overall how wud u rate th quality of th presentation' n i ticked th box tht sed BELOW AVERAGE. n when it asked wt language shud future presentations be in i put an ENORMOUS tick on 'english only'. i showed mom n she ws laughin. in th comments i kindly put how they shudnt have such a long speech n get straight t th point dammit *no dammit XD

ther ws a nifty translating device tho. like, it ws some weird black box tht lukd like somethin u use in physics experiments. ther wer earphones attached t it, n when u wear th earphones BAM u hear wt th stupid speech guy ses bt in ENGLISH. th accent of th device guy ws so ugly n g jelas tho. he kept stammerin n my ears hurted even tho i wsnt rele listenin so i gave it t my mom n continued smsin carisa.

FINALLY at 7pm th freakin thing ws put t an end. i can tell evryone wnted t leave th place. i ws one of em. btw i saw like ka celsy n kika n some school dude classmates of mine n yayan aka bams' bro bt i ddnt greet em t2h.
i thot th imbecilic fair ws a tour around th place bt they only had puny stands of each of th 6 universities they offer. bt they had a long, LONG table full of food. th food on th first few tables seemed g enak bt twards th end strips of meat n chicken n fish n LENOTRE cake engrossed my hungry eyes. so me n my parentheses spent th rest of th time eatin. i ws also lukin at th texas a&m brochure tht ws so appealing. th word AGGIE appeared in ther 92390x n i remembered th shirt fajar used t wear tht sed AGGIES.

anyway we went home rite after tht. fail husband ws idle bt i dcided t comment on his teacher-cursing. he appeared after a while n then i told him abt my edu city chronicles n i told him t prsuade his dad t allow him t universitise at texas a&m like me [ we both wanna be engineers t2h ] bt he talkd abt his future side-job aka. a band insted n i went BAKAAA -.bash emotes all over th place- CONCENTRATE ON UR SCHOOL GRADES n then th convo went on t th point tht i end up bein his mentor XD
matar ws also chattin with me abt her miraculous news which i am very much congratulating her for -claps- n hamzah asked stuff abt his english h/w n then we quarelled a bit abt our 'busy-friends' then randomly moved on t chat logs n then he went off as i read a chat log of his which made me go OMG -shuts th comments i thot of-

th day after tmorrow is iA i.e. no kempo ;__; bah i dnt wanna miss my 1st chance since 2 weeks t kempo-fy with fajrina. tho i am quite excited as t wt adventures i may find in th expedition ;D WISH ME LUCK. tmorrow i dnt think ill be typin an entry cz ill be studyin for chemistry x__x;; LOL u guys r probably relieved cz i type too much XD

S.T.D.

excuse th fact tht this entry will have fajar agung dewantoro's nicknames n name all over bcuz we have just baikan-ed on sunday n i wanna type abt th stuff tht happened durin th course of 2 days. *jim* -altho this entry's abt monday

im meant t be doin my h/w bt i shall conduct them in tmorrow's free lesson t2h [ dnt take example of me pepols ]

monday. a happy yet normal day. i ws goin t physics in th girl's block n i saw aho-ushi [ stupid cow in japanese ] comin n i grinned a bit n wnted t say hello bt he started first by shovin a piece of paper in my hands n sayin '--------' *im not supposed t tell~
then on th way t ict upstairs we talkd a bit abt th paper bt then khalid ws sayin 'lgi ngomong ap sih?' n aho-ushi sed 'ngga2 secret' or somethin like tht then i sed sorry n all he dd ws nod.. he is always with khalid now so we dnt get t talk much anymore T~T
well afta school ther ws a pizza sale n he calld my name n bot me a piece even tho i offered t pay myself. i then gave him another paper n tricked him ampe dia deg2an bt .. yea XD
afta school me dhea n frh went outside t take a walk [ th sky on th way home ws soo pretty ] n ther ws iwan playin ball so we talkd t him n then fajar appeared n we talkd tgether abt wt t wear for tmorrow's QIS themed non-uniform day. i ws explainin abt how th boys shud bring a Quran n wear an Ihrom [ -IMAGINES A CERTAIN SOMEONE- ] or a Sarung n then bring a Sajadah XD after tht me iwan dhea n frh [ fajar went home ] played in th tennis court for a short while.
at home me n fajar continued playing nameless RO tgether - bt this time we ddnt train. guess wt we did toeng [ hamzah knows cz we talkd abt it at school tday ]

we got MARRIED XD

it ws his idea. he chose a flower ring tht costed 1500z whilst i got a diamond ring tht ws 45000z n i went WTF get me a better ring than THT man then we went into soo much trouble as t which charas of ours shud get married n in th end we chose our assassin crosses [ aka sinX ] XD
th weddin process ws so easy bt CHEESY n STUPID i tried t hold my laugh in bt i released it anyway. it ws such a funny n useless n unforgettably stupid moment XD ahh th stuff u do with ur friends. lemme show u th screenshots *click to enlarge~..



i am now syania tifani dewantoro. HAAHAHAHAHAH AS IF

*entry abt tuesday next~

Salah Apa?

AHHH IM SO MESSED UP.

things happenin this week:-

int'l award thurs-sat
4 ict essays for next thurs which i cant do in weekendz cz of th above
ict e-portfolio for 9th of november
university fair on tues 6pm
afta school activities
magazine layouts t edit!!
chem test on thurs
phys test next sun
comic desperately needin t be continued
FRIENDSHIP ISSUES!!

ever since thursday i think things've gotten worse between me n *cough*
specially yesterday. i saw somethin tht made me so worried i still think abt it T~T
i tried yesterday n tday t set stuff straight bt i hadn't th chance.
days r goin by n december's near n tht means an ntire month will be wasted if i dnt take action.
i keep recallin all th memories n happy times we had. i hardly remember anythin bad tht we went thru. i keep prayin all th time for a gud thing t happen.

i believe this friendship went on for 3yrs [despite th 11 fights] bcuz it ws meant t last.

i dnt want it t end in this way, not with him hating me [ which i think he does naudzhubillah ] n forgettin all th memories we've had.. which wer a lot.
i gotta do something cz this time i can finally say its my fault it all happened.

Allah pls grant my prayers n help me. i dnt get wt i want much n this is like one of th top 5 most important things in my life. he is a gift from You and i kno it. i dnt wanna throw away somethin so special. i wish he won't throw me away either. he's th only person in th world who has treated me like im worth th sky.


edit *7pm:- BRSYUKUR KPD ALLAH. ALHAMDULILLAHI ROBBIL ALAMIN. GYAHAHAHA. HE READ THIS ENTRY [ i posted it in my PM ] N I KNEW BCUZ HE CHANGED HIS PM T STUFF ABT IT N SED 'im reading ur mind' N THEN N THEN N THEN. AH TAU DAH. happiness cant be described in words. HE'S BACK MAN!!!!! N THIS TIME ILL MAKE OUR FRIENDSHIP POSITIVE FOR ALL ETERNITY. I MEAN IT.

~

Jadenia & Regret

-its not just us man.. th ntire world's teenage population is struck with boredom too-
*Jadenia is a pun on th words 'jade'/'jaded' n 'insomnia'

u kno wt i noticed? im not th only one with a life thts getting more boring day by day *dsnt mean im bored of living ok >__>;; i realised fajar experiences th same too *kta mirip bgt sih x__x;;. n lots of ppl in dA - their journal titles r like 'im so bored' n bla3. n once iwan's pm went somethin along th lines of 'life's losing its taste' or wtever. sure i kno im a hopeless pessimist who dusnt believe in th phrase sweet 16 bt i ddnt kno things cud get THIS lame. its makin me luk forward for university. i wanna start somethin new - i mean i dnt wanna leave my friends here bt prhaps its just my surroundings thts gettin boring. maybe 7 years in qatar rele is too long n i need t find somewher else.. a campus.. a country with different climate.. stuff like tht. i kno ill miss qatar bt i rele think i shud go now [ th problem is i mite havta take yr13 T~T ]. i wish i can take someone with me too.. altho th possibilities r rele low .x.

school ws major yada [ got 2 marks away from an A in my maths exam dammit ] n after school ws briefly described by cania so i'll just talk abt therafter. nothin actually HAPPENED bt thers some sidenotes t tht 1st para i just typed.
below r some afta school pix *farhan luks cuute :D :-





*btw when i wnted t take a pic of adam n farhan n this other malay guy in music activity i ws like 'can i take a pic of u guys?' n adam ws like 'no its haram =p' n i went 'hey.. thts wt fajar says' n he sed 'yea he copied me!' [ in my head i ws like ckck fajar2 g original bgt sih kmu ] then they went sure2 bla3 n then adam goes 'hey y dont u get a nikon?' n then i sed 'bcuz.. i already bot this one' n then i tuk a pic n asked 'u like photography?' n he sed 'yea' n i sed 'wts ur camera' n he sed 'nikon' n then i sed 'ahh i wanna see ur stuff =D i mean pictures btw!' n th others went 'wuooo2'. he smiled thruout th convo. gyaa my first time talkin t adam!! he is sooo cute n nice x]]x]x]x] definitely ddnt disappoint my expectations. i wanna kno him a lot more khiekhe *gets shot*

in th ulumuddin mobile i listened t music so loudly ignorin th safety of my ears [ forgive me God, i do love my ears T-T ] bcuz fajar joined th car n he ws th one tht talkd n LAUGHED most n hearin his voice ws th last thing i wnted t do ther so i forced myself t turn th volume up. *hha pdhl sjk after school dah pngen dia ikutan kta -im inconsistent/plin-plan* when evryone else [ ther ws like:- icha, salman, salmaniye, fadhli, ocha, fajar, umar, khalid, me ] ws laughin abt some raspberry ice cream drippin down salmaniye's shirt tht lukd like blood i just stared out th window not botherin t kno wt ws goin on. he laughed so much n i got annoyed i even had schemes runnin in my head of throwin somethin at him when he gets off. yes, in tht car, i hated him. *th schemes backfired of course cz he ws dropped bfore me

at home i ws freakin bored as usual so i dcided t download namelessRO for th heck of it. im not playin it 'seriously' like anthem, as in - if im not rich then wtever, if i dnt have gud equips then wtever. i ws randomly in prontera when i saw a player calld 'l a m b o' who ws wearin incubus horns n i knew it ws fajar. i talkd t him n he ddnt kno who i ws bt in th end concluded tht its ocha; tho twards th end i think he knows its me. bt he's nt sensitive so well how can i assume tht?

i ddnt talk abt stuff like th usual me wud, bt he ws th same old fajar n tht made me glad inside. perhaps im so bored nowadays bcuz i dnt have contact with him anymore. amazingly we havent communicated [ excludin th bs2 in kempo ] in 10 days *record? ._.* so bein able t chat with him ther for just a lil bit anonymously made me feel better. he sed he's not happy he's goin t indo in december cz he'll be bored, bt he's bored in qatar too [ thts how i thot of this blog topic ]. i sed rnt u happy at school n he sed kinda n my brain calld him a liar cz i always see him smile with his friends. neverthless i got upset when he sed th 'kinda' n related with his boredom issues. i hate it when he's alone or down bt i hate tht he luks so better off with his other friends smiling widely - bt i still like seein it so i pray tht he'll be more cheerful than he is now.
so i guess in th end i cant hate him can i?

+ Inertia

tday oddly enuff i ws more smiley than yesterday. maybe its th magic of tuesdays? *my birth day teehee

anyway i feel like typin abt my school day. yea2 i kno its not interestin liek all of urs bt hey ive had my happy years too.

so it ws th glorious free lesson 1st. i had chem h/w i ddnt do yet so i spent like 20 minutes on tht when i ws supposed t be studyin for maths >__>;; *whilst listenin t music like i always do of course. in th end i ddnt get t study much n maths ws next lesson so .. i hadta brace for questions i wont be able t nswer.
griffin ws already blabbing as i entered th class n sat down n dkun [ doni2 ] sat next t me gasp. i rele like it when he talks :'D he has such a nice voice even tho he stutters a lot. i remember when me ocha n nisa used t spy on him in 2004-2005 so we can hear his voice HAHAHA. bt now i can do it freely. happy2 days.
th math test lacked questions abt curved graphs which ws wonderful cz tht ws th topic i ddnt study well for. BUT, ther wer so much questions abt factorisation n they wer all SO LONG.I also have trouble completin th square D= i skipped 2 questions bcuz of those things n they wer worth 6 marks altgether. bahh im sure t lose 12% already >__>;; he shudda put more graphs actually khikeheik

anywots it ws chem 3rd lesson n i had a nice time. i like chemistry now =D i have no idea how. igcse chem sucked n i detested it bt now i dnt mind at all. btw this month marks parry's 20th year teaching ohemgaii o__o when one of th boys do somethin stupid parry dusnt yell, he just scolds them bt in a funny way so in th end evryone always laughs~ tday we wer doin hess's law diagrams n i who already understood it t2h had no inquiries.
on th other hand, th boys had a lot of questions. when parry nswerd one of em i think mohammed yakout went OHHH n parry started writing a heading 'Ooh' on th board n added a tally mark underneath it n he sed 'if i get 5 OHHs this lesson ill have a day off tmorrow' XD it ws so funny when he dd it XD *scuse my bad describing
th lesson went on happily with me beamin at my perfect nswers n i kept laughin whenevr somebody sed OHH n parry adding another tally. XD at th end of th lesson he got 6 o__O;; n we ddnt do em on purpose honestly. they wer reflexes! oh how well tht teacher teaches ampe dpet 6 OHHs. XD ther ws also a time when a dude sed 'AHH' n then th 20-yrs-experienced chem teacher sed somethin of approval n he inserted a new heading 'AHH' into th board n he got 2 of those. XDXD

ict ws quiet as usual. watkins or peachey, evryone in th class is always silent cz ther aint any noisy ppl ckck. also we're too busy with our transactional websites so.. yea. he allows us t listen t music now =D so my mobile earphones blared thruout th hour.

physics ws also normal. i ate tamtam loudly in th class n ws used for an experiment tht failed cz we hadta use trolleys n o'neil ws scared tht someone wud fall n get hurt, me n sammy exchanged sad fates n school mag duties n i got so confused with newton's stinkin laws.

afta school me andin dhea n carisa talkd with iwan abt pr0m which is still so far aweh n unlike yesterday's heart-shattering afternoon [ err i cried bt nobody seemed t have seen cept carisa n sammy who i ws talkin to ] i had a wonderful one tday. it ws school mag of course so y shudnt i have been random n cheery? evrybody hadta go into group discussions of their chosen jobs bt i who had 3 jobs [ lil bit of layout, lil bit of photography, lil bit of ads ] ws utterly confused as t which one i shud go t so i popped up in evry single discussion ther ws XD i sticked with th advertising one longest =p bt then me eman rawan n cania escaped t take pictures /gg
we tuk pix of boys' football TOENG, girls' basketball n tried t luk for th detention room n got caught by parry starin at us from his office when we wer hangin round th boys block XD we failed at tht.
it ws such a random session XD i get along quite well with th yr10 n yr11 girls.
then it ws all bla3.

normal entry eh? =D

I, Aku, Saiia, Me

Mehh i just thot i shud post this.. its pretty bloggy anyway n sums up tday's feelings

I live: in a place i dont think i belong in anymore .x.
I work: bcuz its th only thing worth doing for something
I think: abt only 2 things evry single hour of my life as of now, th rest r occasionally
I smell: bcuz i have a nose.
I listen: t my head more than my heart i think..
I hide: from hiding, cz i am not afraid t show myself
I walk: quite quickly so as t not waste time n it feels better like tht n th Prophets walk fast too
I write: very small, close tgether n in large amounts abt anythin in my mind
I see: tht u are so much happier without me ):
I sing: in a low voice so i wont be heard by others cz my voice sucks
I can: try
I watch: somebody who never luks at me
I daydream: abt realistic things tht in th end turn out as fantasies
I fall: n have stopped rising
I want: t go t heaven cz its th only place wher i can rise
I cry: for its one of th few things tht can comfort me
I read: lots of quotes n song lyrics n comics~
I love: Allah SWT
I rode: tnte ita's car this afternoon in sheer silence
I sometimes: wonder wt im supposed t be doin for my future
I fear: Allah SWT, dying n someone leave
I hope: tht my future will be brighter *amin
I eat: in little amounts cz i hardly have an appetite now
I drink: cold water a lot
I play: more than i work which is bad
I miss: yr11 n yr10 n *cough*
I forgive: .. idk
I drive: my head into walls with my stupid actions
I lost: a piece of myself
I dream: tht my dreams will come true again
I kiss: shrugs
I hug: ppl in my imagination
I have: started slackin more often since yr12
I remember: th things i want t forget
I don't: kno wt im supposed t do... cz maybe im not meant t be doin anythin T~T
I believe: tht its all 1-sided
I owe: lots of drawings t ppl x___x;;
I know: tht i will never be th same again
I hate: a lot of things
I wish: tht ud show me urself
Maybe I should: start my ict h/w n review maths then sleep
People would say that I'm: very emo bt i prefer th words sentimental/sensitive/moody kthx
I don't understand: y nothing's happening
Life is full of: things tht always reverse ur mood at th wrong times
My past is: 3485430% happier than my present
I get annoyed when: ppl assume things at me n wont listen t me
Parties are: things id like t go to
Tomorrow: will be like any other day unless somethin changes
Never in my life have I: felt this abandoned
When I was younger, I: hardly had t worry abt anythin
When I'm nervous: i can totally feel it
When I was 5: idk cz i dnt remember anythin in my life bfore i ws 6yrs old
My life is not complete without: u n happiness
If you visit my hometown: u may find it very homely
I once dreamt that: u wer th one tht came over when i ws hurt
The world could do without: super rich celebrities
If I ever go back to school: *which i still go to* then ill just go on with my days as normal
And, by the way: yes i am a very sad person.

3rd Saturday

i dcided t put friday n saturday's entries separately so tht viewer's eyes wont get hurt. XD

3 is meant t be my favourite number bt God this friday n saturday sucked like hell for me. btw i dnt expect ppl t read or comment on my pessimistic entries bcuz hey im doin this blog for myself. =p

tday ws freakin horrid. i stayed up after 5:30AM n nobody went on til like 6 somethin. ther ws kaifa tday n i ddnt feel like goin bt well i hadta. when me n dnf reached sekompond wer talkin tgether by th stairs. i leaned against th railing n just stared down - even if im afraid of heights i still do tht tho idk y o__O;; i had no idea wt th others wer sayin cz i wsnt payin attention t them. i ws so sleepy [ i slept in th car ] so i ddnt feel like engaging in convos. bsides, fajar ws talkin t th girls so.. i ddnt. we wer then told t go in our classes, th boys' ws next t us =p
all we dd ws read th Quran, get t kno each other n plan our future lessons. i ws horrified by th fact tht th courses will be extended til zuhur. i thot of how thers also kempo at 5:30pm. i wud only have 5hrs t do h/w n play RO or wtever lah. thts when my mood started t drop D=
when all ws done i walkd t th usual gatherin place by th counter tht luks like a hotel's. i only saw th isynas. if u all read my previous entries u shud obviously kno who i ws lukin for. hamzah ws hangin at tht place n we both talkd abt who came n who those guys at th stairs wer n bla3. then we went home n i slept in th car again.

at home i had such gudwill t do my h/w bt i ddnt. i ws in too bad of a mood t do anythin cept open RO n stare at it cz nobody else ws playin. well ther ws athrun of course bt hey i CANT play with him. neverthless, me n hamzah chatted for quite a long time n tht ws entertainin enuff t keep me at th laptop. *ckck bad me. he told me of a story tht happened in kaifa n my mood got worse. then all of a sudden fajar started a chat with me n gave a utube link. i had no idea wt it ws [ guessin it ws a song ] bt it turned out t be a KHR episode >__>;; bt then i saw tht it had tht funny xanxus thing he i n cania discussed once bfore weeks ago. i wondered t hamzah y on earth he's givin me tht video n i frantically askd him wt i shud reply n bla3 *yesterday i ws askin him for guy tips btw XD n i think i dd th rite thing.

it ws mnjelang maghrib n i ws mortified when i heard tht fajar ws joining our car t go t kempo tday bcuz tht means i havta chat with him t discuss stuff u kno. i ws keen on seein th isynas kempo tday so i ddnt let tht bother me too much. he sed 'bsbs2' n asked abt wt video us girls wer watchin last nite n i replied lamely n gave him th link [ later on in kempo he agreed tht george sampson is cool ]. bfore we left t th KBRI somethin happened n i cried bt i wont tell u y cz its awfully embarassing x.x;;

in th car me n dnf wer havin fun talkin abt th petroleum company thing n th music we wer listenin to from my HP. fajar ws sittin at th back n i cud hear him play with th badminton racket i left ther n iwan ws at th front bein very quiet. he quit kempo bt he came anyway t study chemistry?! they wer runnin when we arrived.
th isynas came rite when we wer doin ridiculous stretches n khalid ws wearin shorts HESAHUIRGS. th warm up tuk up a lot of time. soon it ws th drinkin session [ gasp ] n i ws sad as i tuk a glimpse of fajar n elang attached t each other with cania n farah talkin so freely with them. God he lukd so happy unlike myself. while them 4 wer at it me dhea carisa n dhe3 wer wonderin abt th cartwheel juruses. they practised it bt since im still unconfident abt doin one i stood n watched. then i heard a 'bs, bs' n figured it ws fajar bt i thot i ws mistaken only he sed 'bs, bs' again so i turned around not knowin wt he ws gunna say. he sed elang wnted t ask somethin n i sorta sank. bt elang went all no no n fajar ws goin on abt somethin t do with dinda n FS n all i sed ws 'yea' n i diverted my attention t elang n sed 'mau tanya ap?' bt he ws nvm-ing. how cud he say my name so easily with such a loose grin T_T? i ws unconsciously wishin tht he wnted t talk abt somethin else, not abt elang's message.

we then shifted ourselves t th isynas n fadhli [ whoops forgot t mention him ] n they bgan walkin away as if they wer gunna LEAVE! which they dd after several discussions of them havin t learn with th kids so they went no effin way n so ther. i ws so disappointed T~T well i knew hamzah aint interested bt we then talkd abt how khalid ws so i felt sorry for him. hopefully next week they can consider it again >.<>an tht word be used in this context? ] .. which ws gud cz i felt so lame n moody. i ws behind dhe3 again like on th far left with trent on th far rite n gah i felt like we wer so far away even if ther wer only 2 ppl between us n it ws just for a short while. he n elang wer next t farah n cania too x.x we revived th tenchiken[g]s n bla3. after drinkin n searchin for a wind source dhe3 dcided t move us next t fajar n elang. sometimes he talkd as if he ws directing it at me bt dhe3 ws th one who kept nswerin so yea. he also brot up th im-goin-t-indo-this-december-so-who-wants-t-titip-somethin? topic n inside i ws .. idk. so upset. i dnt want him t go t indo this december .__.;; bt heck i cant do anythin so leave it. he'll haffun ther anyway. btw we learnt tenchikeng dai san tday =D

when th unexciting-unlike-thursday's session ws over we all sat in a circle n talkd abt khalid n wt he does with his life. it sounds funny when i type it here XD we talkd abt how khalid dusnt chat n stuff so wth dus he do? n then fajar explains how om hanif scolded him t get a hobby [ laugh tht sounds like get a life ] so he bot tht boy a canvas t paint on. XD it sounds childish bt its funny XD then he went on t th indo subject again. he ws th one tht talkd most in th ntire circle so i just kept quiet..

in th car fajar sat at th back, me n dnf n tnte siwi in th middle n iwan n om agus at th front. at first i ws listenin t music very loud cz dhea who ws next to me ws able t hear my earphones blarin so i stopped. i totally forgot y bt then th ntire car attenders [ cept iwan n om agus ] started talkin abt marriage o-o or future on th whole. i told em abt my garden marriage n how i planned it once in RO n fajar from th back remarked somethin like 'knp g sma bunga/pohon sakura aj' or somethin. at one time i turned around t luk thru th seat head's gap t see wt he ws doin n i thot i saw his neck bt then after i turned back i had a bad feelin he ws lukin rite thru th gap at me too o____O;; well anyway we talkd abt other stuff n i tried hard not t nswer wt fajar sed bt in th end when we passed th isyna household i nswered 'engga ko' when he asked 'umzah beli mobil baru?'. turns out they dd >__>;;


btw u guys shud probably have realised tht my blog contains more of my feelings than wt happens t me cz i wanna see how i change over th years~

3rd Friday

i dcided t put friday n saturday's entries separately so tht viewer's eyes wont get hurt. XD

3 is meant t be my favourite number bt God this friday n saturday sucked like hell for me. btw i dnt expect ppl t read or comment on my pessimistic entries bcuz hey im doin this blog for myself. =p


unlike last friday wher we had a water balloon fight [ i has pix n hamzah&cania described it already so i ddnt type abt it ] tday totally dd not kick ass. D: well in th mornin at 5:30 i went t th large field of somewher t watch men n boys play football.


LOL ABID N IWAN N FAJAR N UMAR *click for larger resolution toeng

ther ws umar fajar abid iwan khalid dhe3 farah indira salma n rania. me rania n indira ran around 1/3 of th field n it ws soo tiring xDD;; th place ws freakin foggy thus causin th grass t be wet u__u bt it ws so soft so i liked sitting on eet. D: well th mornin went on with us watchin n takin pictures of th guys [ btw in one of th matches some of th team members tuk off half of their tshirt XDXDX so their bodies wer half covered half not hiih ] n thts basically it. i listend t music mostly too. nothin special. well.. ther ws.. bt its my secret. =D then from 9:30AM til like.. after maghrib, all i dd ws play RO n pchat with hamzah *RO dominatin most of th 7hrs. me n hamzah dd a wonderful collab tgether bt somebody pressed th bomb button so it got erased T~T i blamed it on ocha bt then i had a feelin it ws fajar cz he ws at umzah's house.. btw th girls wer in villaggio cept nisa, we wer both too lazy t go out. tday i ws especially unwillin t move out of my chair, idk y.

bt then after maghrib-ish i dcided t go t nisa's house cz CC came n all. ther ws only nisa n cania n we watched britain's got talent vids - george sampson. i had no interest in him th previous days bt then after 2hrs or so of bein in tht house i transformed into a fangirl. dhe3 came later after i dd btw n we wer th loudest shriekers. i swear, his dance moves in th semi-final r so SEXY n HOT bt his smile is so CUTE n INNOCENT n LALALLA~!! God we watched tht vid like 98043x. george sampson made me so hyper n smiley. xD th boys came at isya time i think, they watched TV n all n then farah trailed in after. she prefers this pakistani/india group in th show calld signature than george sampson wth. SHE HAS BAD TASTE. anywots we then migrated t th livin room n nisa n cania n dhe3 wer piano-ing. i ws listenin t tht + th TV which wer th boys wer very intently gazin at.

soon after viewin hannah montana we walkd t dnf's house tgether. dk andin n carisa wer makin brownie cake n sushi for iwan's bday thing n of course abid karaoked.. th cake ws gud bt i ate mine so messily compared t hamzah n cania's clean plates bcuz i had difficulty cutting eet. i sang sometimes, sittin bside abid on th armrest, cania on my left n hamzah on my northeast *LOL. we 3 talkd frequently abt stuff which i forgot of *duh. sometimes i glanced at fajar who ws sittin on th floor bsides umair-sama n damn he lukd sleepy. his eyes wer freakin red. i expected him t go home bt he stayed til 10, which ws when th parents finished their pngajian. th end.

Kempo Start :]

straight to th point.

i ddnt get detention from griffin even tho i obviously ddnt finish off 2 exercises for th h/w o__O;; oh well. XD in chemistry we wer doin an experiment n i accidentally knockd over a bottle of methyl orange which parry sed ws VERY EXPENSIVE n it went all over th counter n i thot i ws a goner bt luckily mohammed fathy n th afdal lukin guy calld ahmed n majd n sarah who saw th incident ddnt tell me off. XD fathy even helped me get tissue t wipe tht horrible indicator off. it went all over my hands.. also, parry ws too engrossed with th computer so he ddnt hear at all when ahmed isengly sed 'uh oh somebody spilled somethin' a bit too loud or wtever. in free lesson i dropped my chemistry book n then my sharpener.. wts with me n droppin things? in ict haya sed tht i lukd depressed/moody/sad/as if somethins wrong with me. i thot wt on earth, r my facial expressions so obvious? ._. she's not th only one tht has been able t tell how im feelin. anyway inbetween classes n even after school i always see fajar all smiley n stuff with khalid n whoever. n whenever he's alone he dusnt luk my way n neither do i bt i ngelirik a bit. i guess i dnt need t ask how he's doin, from th luks of it he seems fine .__.

tday i FINALLY went home at 1pm insted of 2 n ws cramped in th isyna mobile. on th way ther me hamzah salmaniye ocha n cania bla wer talkin abt salmaniye's spiderwick book. in th car nisa told me her interestin life stories [ th ones in her blog ] whilst we listend t quietdrive songs all th way thru. at home i played RO n we succeeded in lukin for pharaoh whilst hamzah failed at bein a hero *dnt worry hamzah u can be a hero IRL insted ;] when umar sed he aint comin t kempo tday yet i thot of a flat 'boohoo' bt when fajar sed he wnted t skip th 1st day i ws down in th dumps. GAH i dnt wanna care abt him anymore bt evry little thing tht happens concernin tht idiotic boy i always havta ponder abt. its not fair ;___; he is so focused on RO n umar n havin fun so y am i th only one tht hasta put up with th thinkin of us even tho i dont WANT to? im always th one with th heavy burden.. GOD HELP ME!!

anyway bfore i left t go t dnf's for kempo i checkd my msn n fajar's status ws idle n i ws guessin 'maybe he's comin after all' bt then i reconsidered tht n thot 'as if' n i ws rite. when we reached, th kbri ws freakin dark. ther ws boii fariz dll, dhe3 CC errin dnf n me. it feels weird not havin arya appear from th gate shoutin 'assalamualaikum' as he always dd when he ws still here.. in th 1st 30 minutes i kept peekin at th gate JUST INCASE.. u kno.. bt eventually i stopped cz i ws havin a lot of fun with evryone else thus i forgot abt my troubles.

we received certificates n alif's hair got spikier. sensei hadi taught us girls like 3 new techniques n th one with ze kick at th end ws confusin. wt ws it again? oshi uke? ya gtu lah. XD me n dhe3 wer partners for th 1.5hr kyu session n we had infinity laughs abt lots of stupid n random stuff. her legs r too freakin long so we had trouble with tht XD she n i discussed th many ways we can imagine -censored- do kempo. it ws freakin HILARIOUS n entertainin n i kept laughin so hard my throat ws dry n i started t cough n cania who stood next t dhe3 listenin t our bizzare fantasies ws like tutut n wth. when sensei hadi left us t do partner stuff, we sat down n talkd [ bcuz me n dhe3 wer too busy talkin abt uknowt ]after a while of doin it. we then played kotak pos n carisa who ws th loser ws ordered by me t run around in a circle 3x around boii fariz dkk who ws in a huddle XD we wnted t play truth or dare aftawards bt we hadta be taught a new jurus. btw i ddnt forget most of th stuff we learnt bfore th summer ;DD

ther wer so many other things we laughed at bt since they wer too random n sometimes based on th same topic i totally forgot wt they wer. all i can say is it ws such a great start for a new kempo year n i hope even if im always sad n isolated in school, kempo can cheer me up no matter wt, just like tday. =D *amin

abt Yr12

well2 after 6/5 weeks of bein in yr12 i guess i shall type abt how it is. th next entry's abt tday~

chemistry: i actually understand. n even tho its quite confusin liek most of th time i always ask parry abt it so yea. he teaches a bit too fast tho n he dusnt write notes on th board so we havta come up with th descriptions n stuff ourselves .__.;; evry thursday we have a practical lesson n i think its fun 8DD;; when i first scanned th textbook i ws liek WTF IS THIS bt now im prolly startin t like th subject. i dnt have any friends here sadly bt thers this new girl calld lara n i guess i can talk to her tho =D bsides, i dnt rele need a friend cz th class is already lively with th actual teacher n th stupid guys [ specially mohammed yakout ]. thers even a guy thts mirip afdal :D *irrelevant

ict: gah i hate ict now. i has peachey n watkins n we havta do like 34890 essays.. ALL TH TIME! n we havta make this STUPID e-portfolio with billions of analysis n other buncha crap. *sorry if tht word offends u cania or whoever* i dnt have any friends here bt like in chem thers a new girl calld haya n i talk to her too. shes th kind tht u can say wtever u want to yet not seem as if ure sok akrab. i cant even listen t music anymore cz thers loadsa explanations n stuff T-T o well..

maths: i sit with shaza hurray2 so thers an actual 'friend' . bt th problem this time is NOBODY IN TH CLASS TALKS [ cz most of th girls sit with guys yada2, i cudve ended with tht fate too bt thank God shaza sed t mr.griffin we're not allowed t sit next t guys /gg ]!! so we always havta whisper.. well anyway its gud im with her in maths cz we're always confused n never understand anythin so whenever she asks a question t th teacher i can skalian listen. XD core maths is harder than u think o___O;; n mr.griffin talks way too much. srsly.

physics: O'NEIL isnt as bad as i thot he ws o__O;; still he annoys me bt idk y XD physics isnt rele hard. thers just too much equations n weird units n names t remember @@;; i has jana n sammy for classmates thus its entertainin cz i make fun of sammy all th time [ n with jana too XD ] n we always hav different classrooms.

study periods: we're meant t be studyin or wtever bt in study periods i DRAW. durh, y waste 1hr of a free lesson t STUDY? i do it t improve on wt i wanna do in th future [ which i mite cannot do til i get married bcuz my dad wants me t be an engineer ]. bt i do use it wisely when i ddnt do my h/w th previous day n dcide t do it in th study period. XD *irresponsible me~ o yea i always listen t music n never talk t others.

ok so thts wt yr12 for me is like.. evryday is so damn monotonous so i get bored n moody a lot bt mehh wt can i do? yr12 is different bcuz

a) i can ask teachers all th questions i have in my mind without struggle like in yr11+10
b) i do a hell lotta activities yet they seem lonelier than last year [ no maruku n carisa in primary, no fajar in school mag T~T *bt hey i have fun with cania n marsya n hamzah too ok XD ]
c) for some reason i feel more .. alone than in yr11 which ws meant t be th worst n most depressin year of my life o__O;; when i think abt it yr11 wsnt even tht bad. i had more ppl around me. i wish i can take it back. ):

Profound thots

ok2 from th title u can judge tht th entry will be sentimental [ a better word than emo ] *n hamzah u shudnt be surprised cz i told u already *jim* bt dnt worry HOPEFULLY [ i use tht word a lot here ] it wont be as long as th 'epic end' one which has 3k words [ bsides tht ws an event n it ws fun so y shudnt i make it detailed? ]. th difference in description between this entry's length n th epic end's length is tht this one's bcuz of feeling n th other's abt happening. o yea at th end ill put a small para abt school.

anyway if any of th text in this entry makes u hate me or be disappointed at me or wanna do a lecture at me go ahead n say it, bt this is my blog so i shall express my thots however i want~ ty. =D

ok ever since i began my 16yr old life ive had like 2 fights or shud i say silent distances with fajar [ one in ramadan GASP ] n like 5+ arguments inbetween. dundundun who's surprised? th one im havin rite now is th 11th out of all th fights we've ever had since he arrived in qatar in 2006. since june 08 its always abt th same thing; i wont tell u wt. th thing is, he keeps ASSUMING THINGS tht ive repeatedly DENIED. he'd hate me if i put this in my blog cz he probably dusnt want other ppl t kno abt our situations so thts y ill try t keep info t a minimum bt.. i gotta type abt my feelings n maybe hopefully he'll open up my blog one day n get t read this!
i cant say or type or convey to him properly how i rele feel- its just th way i am around fajar, ok? he just gotta figure it out himself.. which is th problem, cz he cant.

this is th biggest kinda supposition he's always been sayin numerous times: my feelings towards HAMZAH. *which btw r only friendshippy feelings- he assumes tht i am SO OBSESSED with him, n he says things abt y dont i do this n tht more t hamzah than him, bt i mean- its bcuz i DONT WANNA do this n tht more t hamzah! n usually bfore he says tht he goes on abt how i never talk bad abt hamzah, i always defend hamzah n never him [ which is true ], i always see th gud things in hamzah n never th gud things in fajar bla3 - bcuz well, honestly i hardly see anythin bad abt hamzah.
bt fajar, i see a lot of bad things in him, which is somethin he sed ws so one-sided [ he started sayin tht phrase after i dd *gubrak ]. this dusnt make me a rele gud friend dus it? bt i wanna be honest with him. yes i do kno a lot of fajar's pros n i told him i dnt rele kno em [ i guess.. ] n he goes 'yea rite i bet u do kno bt u just dnt wanna say em' n yes, tht is pretty true too. like wt i mentioned above, i cant tell him properly abt how i feel abt him, nevermind THINK abt him.

i point out evry single flaw he has tht i notice, n th nswer i get is 'this is me n if u cant accept it thts ur problem'. YES i kno im supposed t accept ppl th way they r bt.. i constantly mention his flaws so tht he'd NOTICE wt im tryin t do - i wanna change him for th BETTER. no i dnt wanna change him into a hamzah who isnt impolite or wtever, i just want him t be a better guy. n think abt it fajar, y do u think i want u t be a better guy? BCUZ I CARE ABT U. im not tryin t change ur personality n who u r, im tryin t change ur attitude, which is different btw.. i think.

even so, despite th faults he has- despite how many freakin times he's brought me down- despite how many times he's made me angry n upset- fajar shud kno tht even if hamzah is in th same building as i am standin next t me n fajar is havin a holiday somewher in asia or europe busy havin fun with someone else, he's th one id be waitin for t talk to n t be with. NOT HAMZAH *well maybe cz he's already ther.. well anyway, its just how i feel ok? see, this is how i accept u. this is how i possibly cannot think abt hamzah more than i think abt u [ gah tht ws so cheesy >____> ]. so PLS stop talkin abt hamzah bcuz i DONT talk abt him anymore like i used to unless ther is a matter bt ther hardly will be anymore. T~T

somewher in september after our 10th fight or somethin i told him tht he's not my best friend anymore. with tht kinda remark from me, he still thot of me as his best friend anyway. i thot abt it one day - i call fajar my best friend bt we fight all th time n we dont even understand each other n we r mean t one another. i wudnt rele call tht a best friend.. so thts when i told him he's not one anymore. n then i thot abt th best friends tht i DO have, who r girls. i realised tht th feeling fajar gives by bein my friend is totally different from th feelings i get from bein carisa's friend [ obviously bcuz theyre different genders ]. i mean, t be honest, i remember my memories with fajar a hell lot more than my memories with anybody else. i stay friends with him even after th 100s of troubles we've had. for weeks i kept a secret from him, which is tht even if he's not my best friend anymore he IS somethin else. he is my special friend. n i decided tht my special friends r different from my best friends. n he is th only special friend i have n ever had.

then earlier this week in satuday th 11th in RO all of a sudden fajar mentioned somethin abt how since he's not my best friend, i am not his best friend anymore either bcuz 'tht sounds stupid'. i rele had NO IDEA y he sed tht out of th blue. after tht he sed 'just anggap me as ur normal friend' n inside i ws already ranting. no i cant anggap u as my normal friend bcuz our friendship is obviously NOT normal. my friendship with him is nothin like my friendship with umar - now thts a normal friendship. later on in msn we chatted abt it n things got worse. A LOT WORSE. i wont tell how.

on sunday th 12th, i ignored him no matter how many times we passed [ i wont tell u y either ]. he lukd at me for th first few times bt later on he stopped doin so. at home we played RO, all of us, n he calld my name n replied t some of my sentences which wernt even aimed at him n such. he seemed t ignore th chat we had yesterday. as maghrib approached, me n farah gave iwan his birthday present - he seemed t like it. fajar ws th one tht opened th door n i ws th one standin rite in front of him bt i ddnt say anythin. he hung around for 15 minutes with us 3 n i felt so uncomfortable. he talks t me in RO bt y not now? whenever he's like tht i always think he's a wimp. y rnt ther any guys who say things IRL insted of th internet? *bt honestly fajar dus say important stuff IRL quite often..
anyway at nite he talkd abt y i havent given him th school mag comic n i reluctantly sed 'i thot u quit' [ note th school mag ws a part of th chat yesterday on th 11th ] bt then th convo went wrong again, altho i still thot he ws gunna colour th comic. my thots wer mistaken apparently.

tday i saw him wear th p.e. bag i gave him for his birthday. later on in th afternoon it made me wonder y he dd so when we're not even talkin, bt when we r he keeps forgettin it exists n uses his red p.e. bag or somethin. i finally finished th sketch of th school mag comic n after school i coincidentally walkd bhind him n nudged his shoulders after a failed attempt of poking his bag with my books. i ddnt wanna talk to him so i just gestured th artbook at him. he simply lukd at me hangin my arm ther n i think i sed 'its th comic' or 'here' or wtever bt he sed 'i quit' n walked off. i have no idea how i felt rite then n ther. my thots wer speechless thts all i kno. ws i too heartbroken? too shocked? idk. bt i ws obviously confused y yesterday he seemed t be normal n tday he seemed t be so far away. even in RO he ddnt say anythin related t me or at me.

i have no idea wt will happen this 11th time.. bt how can things be th same if uve lost a special friend who's always been consorting u evry single day? after all, fajar makes up most of th memories i keep recalling.. things r rele different without him. its like i lost a piece of myself n im too focused on it i dnt even think abt anythin else. i can say its my fault im feelin this way bt i probably dd it for th better, only i dnt feel so - he probably dus tho.. i have lots more t say bt ill stop here..

*abt school

as usual school is monotonous so thers nothin t say abt tht bt, afta school me dhea n hikmah had t do th primary indoor + outdoor activity service thing for iA. th teacher ws calld mr.paterson n he kinda freaked me out cz he ws weird, n th woman teacher ws even weirder o___O;; th dude wore ALL BLACK when we wnted t play outside wth?
i even had a chance t play hangman with th kids. at least if i ever do somethin stupid they wont notice khkiekhie. outside, we played sharks n fish n wts th time mr.wolf? dhea hadta be th wolf. at around 1:30pm i saw khalid n fadhli appear n they watched us til 1:50pm playin tht tiring n stupid game XD
ok thts all.

word count: 1792 [ 1.3k less than epic end! XD ]

Epic End ~

I started typing zees at 10:44pm [9th] n continued it like th next day at Zuhur [10th] n th next day at asar :D [11th]

[ btw i edited th wednesday entry talkin abt 1st break so go read it if u havent ]
sorry for th long entry i made a blog mostly for myself t remember stuff tht happened in my sometimes depressin sometimes excitin life. btw this entry is meant t be entertainin~


Well i finished my peachy essays at around 3:15am, i still ddnt do some paragraphs bt my dad ws wakin up for sahur so i HADTA go in my room n sleep for only 2hrs.. i succeeded in not getting caught keh2 *bsides i dont think dad wud care
school ws boring n normal altho i PWNd th chemistry titration experiment [ mr.parry sed my results wer PERFECT tling2 ] n th break times wer normal too [ nothin gud happened like yesterday ]. inbetween lessons i ddnt see fajar so i had nobody t talk to as i walk [ he's th only one i talk to durin school hours *bsides girls at break ] n so tht ws another lonely factor too ~__~;;
afta school i walkd t th back with carisa n hamzah n fajar n cania trailin behind altho i wsnt rele payin attention t her cz fajar ws askin me abt some problems i had yesterday n he kept bumpin into me so it made me feel more annoyed altho he tried t make me feel better by smilin a lot.
i ws told t go into th isyna mobile n sat at th front, i hadta wait like 10 MINUTES for nisa n ocha n bla3. tht rele wasted my time cz i wnted t rush home. th car ws very full n ali n salmaniye kept fighting n nisa n ocha kept laughin bt i ddnt rele understand y so i just listend t music n stared out th window daydreaming of music videos of a certain secret someone ;]

ther ws indra in iwan's house n th boys intended t swim n th girls made cupcakes bt i ws just at home playin RO until 4pm arose n i decided t go t dnf's. ther, th older guys wer assisting th cupcake making wth o__O;; me n frh went t my house t wrap a gift n it ws quite fun XD then i checkd my RO n saw tht umar n fajar wer talkin abt goin t villaggio, n i ws d-ajaked or somethin so i thot YESS I WANNA GO TOO! for i feel like surfin around virgin - its not like i buy anythin ther i just like wt th store has n wt it luks like XD th aura is enticing u see. me n frh finished wrapping n thts when fajar left with th isynas [ turns out his main reason t go t villaggio is virgin too just like me XD *hi5 bro~! ]

i grew worried cz i wnted t go n meet up with them [ plus i ddnt wanna stay ther too late cz id be sleepy T~T ] so we rushed t dnf's t see if md or dhea or nisa wud like t participate, bt they dont. we spent like 45mins ther fussin abt who shud antar, if md shud go or not, bla3. i ws panicking so hard in my head thinkin 'God i dnt wanna go ther when they leave' so when FINALLY evrythin ws settled i rushed home t change. turns out md n icha wnted t go too so yeaa thers another reason for mom t take us *she ws too tired t do so first - on th phone i actually NAGGED her 'mom pls take me t villaggio i hardly ask u t antar me t places cz i dont go out a lot bla3 it wont be long' - all this for virgin n leavin house boredom n t be able t jln bareng with them o___O;; we left at 6:30 or somethin n i actually smsed hamzah sayin if he leaves when we reach im gunna whoop his a** xD

WE REACHED! my destination virgin [ tht sounds wrong ] ws just a few metres out of reach. inside i lgsung went t th other merchandises side [ u kno th one with shirts n band brands ] bcuz i wsnt interested in any books rele. i remembered tht fajar wnted t go t virgin so apparently i tried lukin for him whilst browsin thru ALL-OVER-QR-100 shirts.. they lukd so nice T~T i wnted t buy one tht had a red tie n pocket motif bt WTH QR 119? mom wud KILL ME if i buy another shirt.. specially for tht much cash! *mom hates th fact tht i wear shirts all th time

anyway it ws around 7 already n i ws abt t give up searchin for th boys in sheer sadness [ u wudnt believe how many times i shifted my eyes around th store ]. we saw th coolest headphones ever n ther wer simpsons shirts tht had interestin pictures on em. then when me n frh wer abt t go t th book section, I SAW FAJAR! he lukd like a lost kid. i probably thanked God unconsciously by bein quite speechless n idk y bt my legs started shakin n i ws a bit nervous as i tugged farah n sed LUK FAJAR IS THER LETS SURPRISE HIM!! n so we dd. we hid behind a shelf of CDs n when he appeared we went HI! *well thts wt I sed. he ddnt luk tht surprised, just lost. XD

we 3 started walkin around th place tgether n fajar ws talkin abt his time so far in villaggio with th isynas - turns out they just ate n he ddnt jln2 here yet so i thot YAY =D his presence cheers me up i guess.. his eyes wer red so i thot he ws sleepy bt its just bcuz of th swimming. we lukd at nintendo DS cassettes tgether n he chose some random one he never even heard of, altho i offered high school musical as another option. icha n md wer still browsin shirts n iphone cases bla when they met up with us for a bit n wandered off on their own. F3 then lukd at shirts for a bit n fajar bot his game as me n farah peeked at th book place for a bit. we got bored ther n dcided t go t carrefour cz farah wnted t buy a rubber XDDXD it ws a stupid discussion - we sed how we go t a mall just t go t carrefour n buy 1 object xp i ws also expectin t meet th twins ther bcuz they wernt in virgin with fajar. he sed if we're msih lama n i sed nah not rele probably til 8:30 n he sed he wud liek t go home with us ~

so we ventured off t carrefour very stupidly tgether. fajar kept goin on abt how he's th only guy n once when we lewat an arab man he sed 'i bet tht bpk2 is sayin ckck nih laki2 sndiri' or somethin like tht bt then i remarked 'well pretend we're ur sisters =D' also, whenever i saw a gud lukin guy i point it out n go kyaa. n when thers somethin cool or cute or interestin i point at it n shout out my opinions XD i bet it ws annoyin bt i hadta do it cz i ws in a gud mood =] MAKE TH MOST OF IT DONG! i am not often in a gud mood for long.

well anyway we wer passin tht cafe in front of virgin when SUDDENLY we saw HAMZAH! he ws walkin in th open air so blindly [ as in, he ddnt see us at all ] n so we turned n RAN - i actually pulled fajar's jacket sleeve n literally dragged him t th body shop with farah doin somethin idk wt. he ws stumblin as he tried t turn around xDD;; anyway we isengly n sneakily stalked him from behind, watchin him enter virgin n lukin around at th book place [ AS IF FAJAR WUD GO THER!!! ]. we even hid behind a tree i think [ U CANT SEE US, WE WER BLENDIN IN JUST LIKE A PINE TREE *nigahiga ] . so we finally ran in th store n hid behind th counter [ ddnt care tht ppl wer watchin xDDD ] n as hamzah ws just standin around th bookshelves [ which turns out he ws lukin for BRISINGR as mentioned in his blog ] we appeared from th side n sed BAAAAAA or wtever it ws. i totally forgot t2h [ this para had lots of sidenotes ]

apparently he ws not surprised. us former fantastic four friends stood n discussed th fact tht th isynas wer goin home so wt abt u fajar r u goin with them? me n frh sed we will stay a bit longer so if u still wanna jln2 go ahead n join us bt its ur choice bla3. he dcided t be with us thus hamzah went off altho we antar-ed him bcuz it wud be more courteous n friendly like tht [ t protect our image lah ] *bsides we wnted t go t carrefour ddnt we?~

turns out his famileh ws already outside *LAUGH* so he went out n we went in carrefour. at th supplies section we lukd for farah's rubber bt me n fajar's eyes wer attracted t th FLEXIBLE RULER i currently own n have not lost yet. so he tuk it. then after gettin farah's ruler we went t th chocolates section cz mom ddnt buy me 4 boxes yet so i havta do it >: it ws 8 riyals.. GAH wt a waste of cash. farah also bot her share of goodies too.

after th check out we wondered as t wher we shud go. so we walkd t th food court [ fajar obviously refused t enter H&M; he sed tht jln2ing with us is like jln2ing with mothers - tho wt u expect we're girls! ] bt on th way i saw haagen daz which i never saw bfore n i ws so hungry n fajar's legs wer freakin tired [ JUST LIKE A FATHAR IN A MALL ] so me n frh ordered some ice cream n us 3 sat tgether on th SPINNING CHAIRS THT LUKD LIKE BEAN BAGS =D *one other reason i wnted t go in ther i bot tiramisu ice cream n it ws sooo gud x] we tried t narcist bt epic failed only ther wer 2 tht wer decent enuff.. altho fajar ddnt smile - i told him to mumpung2 we're bein happy. btw fajar seems t like th clothes in hip hop shop *LAAAAUGH* n we offered t go inside bt we ddnt.



afterwards we walkd t th food court [ found quite a few gud lukin guys ] wonderin wher r we goin exactly? so fajar sat on a chair again. then farah told me abt this large photo of a man or somethin over ther n i sed ok lets go! n fajar ws like wher r u guys goin? n i sed over ther cz ive never seen it bfore. u can sit down if u want n we'll come back later bt he dcided t join us n gud thing he dd or else he wudnt be laughin so much over somethin ill describe soon enuff.

we walkd t a part of villaggio I HAVE NEVER EVER SEEN BFORE xcept in afif's FS photos only i had NO IDEA it ws new! o___o;; th place ws so beautiful n tall n filled with flowers n columns n it ws th prettiest part of a mall ive ever seen.. fajar calld it a sanctuary XD i rekam-ed th scene bcuz takin pix wud be norse *NO CANIA N HAMZAH NOT MYTHOLOGY. th place ws full with merek-ed stuff e.g. D&G, burberry, n me n fajar wer talkin abt how we shud never tell ibu2s abt this place or else theyre gunna be too excited n talk abt it 24/7 n bla3. it ws dumb

we sat at a pretty water fountain n wnted t take pix bt g jdi. soon it ws abt 8pm n we sorta wnted t go home so me n frh went into th most BEAUTIFUL TOILET ENTRY I HAVE EVER SEEN n i calld icha in ther after attemptin t take a pic of of th place [ n epic failed of course ] n fajar soon trailed in. i mean come on even th bathroom entrance is like a sanctuary?! btw th phone callin ws epic fail too cz i got no signal XD

so afta tht we walkd back n on th way .. oh God fajar n farah loves this part.. anyway [ we always walk in a line often me in th middle ], while we wer strollin ther ws a group of orng items tht wer walkin past in our direction n then .. th one tht stood on th edge closest t us lukd at me n started doin KISS GESTURES WITH HIS MOUTH LIKE MORE THAN ONCE!!!!!!!! LIKE THIS >

GAAAAH IT WS HORRIBLE!!!!!! after they passed i lukd down in PURE EMBARASSMENT n started ranting stuff like 'OMG DD U SEE THT HE WS MAKIN KISS GESTURES AT ME' n 'I ATTRACT ORNG ITEMS MORE THAN I ATTRACT MY FRIENDS/TH PPL AROUND ME' n i kept SOBBING n SOBBING!!! farah n fajar on th other hand wer laughin so hard n so much ;_____; specially fajar.. he ws sleepy bt he laughed long >.>;; then i told them th story abt how when i ws in yr3 an item friend of mine told me t close my eyes n when i opened them he ws standin rite in front of me doin kissy gestures too as a way of teasing!! tht made farah n fajar laugh even more, specially th fact tht i commented after 'I ATTRACT ORNG2 ITEM' DDX then i mentioned somethin abt how ive gotten kissy gestures 2x already bt th next one aka 3rd time, 3 bein my fave. number, shall be from my FUTURE HUSBAND!! i sed it with such hope wth how sad of me. XD bt i gotta hand it to ya it ws probably th highlight of th night.

soon after th laughter stopped we walked t GO sports bt on th way farah kept burstin into laughter evry 2 minutes reminding us abt tht incident n fajar kept makin th kissy2 gesture at me too [ WITH SFX -sound effects- ] HUWEEEEE! in go sports we lukd around n found shirts tht sed O'NEIL n fajar sed tht mr.o'neil tuk over th store.. wth xD we then lukd at shoes n i wnted t take a pic in th mirror bt we ddnt. we circled th store n saw these rollerblades bt it wsnt wheels tht wer on th bottom, bt these plastic things.. n turns out u JUMP WITH THEM LIKE A KANGAROO!! theyre calld kangajumps. here's wt it luks like: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~ferrisdp/NSF/kangoo.jpg THEY WER 800 FREAKIN RIYALS!!

soon we walkd t wher icha n md ws bcuz i already calld mom tht we wnted t go home n apparently it ws 8:30pm.. rite on schedule. they wer in bershka choosin a jacket [ md used my 150 riyals *twitches eyes* ] bt dad ws already outside so F3 went t th car first n md n icha appeared latar. in th car we talkd abt stuff bt i forgot wt they wer so yeaaa. back at th kompond iwan n indra n nisa wer still in dnf's so md dcided t go back ther bt i thot uhh maybe ill just stay home bt then fajar sed come on bs lets go ther later so i sed ok fine y not. me n md emerged from th house at th same time bt i walked slower cz i needed t go t th bathroom bt when i walkd back fajar ws walkin twards me so i g jdi n walkd with him t dnf's insted.

btw ther ws a party in th clubhouse - they wer playin those techno songs so loud u cud even hear it from my house n th place ws actually dark n i cud tell ther wer teens in ther dancing.. dnt th neighbours find it disturbing?! n we heard mahmoud ws a part of it or somethin o___O;; on th way both of us saw a cig on th floor n fajar who ws walkin on its path suddenly hissed 'sh**!! f*** u' at th cigarette, jumpin a bit [ apparently th butt *ujung* of th cig which ws probably still hot rubbed against his toes? ]. i ws utterly shocked at wt i heard n i got upset. i sed 'fajar y dd u swear? stop sayin bad words .. ddnt i tell u tht? dont be like ur brother.. pleaase stop it' *altho not in one go ok- btw i rele ws upset- then he started sobbin 'im sorry, im soo sorry' [ NOT in a mock tone ] then he rubbed my back n dd those consoling stuff then i started puttin my fists in front of my face like this n then we both sed 'huhuhuhu' n THTS when it all got better cz wth who wudnt find tht stupid? XD

anyway in dnf's all we dd ws see nisa n iwan finish th cupcakes with MASSIVE AMOUNTS of M&Ms n some of us ate em. we hung around a bit n i saw fajar's new DS game n it lukd so 3D n bla. then at 9:30 or somethin we went home..

tht concludes my thursday! XD hopefully th next entries wont be as long as this.. this is even longer than my deviantART journals o___O;; i think.