Intense Hatred

Thanks Umar & Tante Ita :)

-Note this entry has more swearing than usual-

Nothing happened in school/I don't wanna talk about it so there's nothing to write- except that I srsly love my Chemistry lessons and wish it's been like that since Yr10. Plus I've been spamming cereal bars.
Now, as you all may probably already know, I went to the AC Milan VS. Al-Sadd game today with DnF, Dhe3 and Indira but when we reached later found out that we were sitting together with Umar, Iwan, Fajar, Om Agus and Tante Siwi [and Om Susilo much later]. Fajar brought pizza which was the first thing I saw and then to my astonishment, Akkad, Yacout and Khalid Selim. I then kept searching for Jozali haha.
OK so I don't wanna type this night in detail because despite how much fun I had there were things I absolutely despise, curse and wanna fuck at. It lasted from around 5 'til 9 but the real game began at err, 7? We sat near the front and by the way once when I turned around I found Jozali standing 3 rows behind us talking in his mobile and I swooned. Umar was also very awesome in those 4 hours 'cause he showed so much spirit and enthusiasm which I hardly see from him, so it was so cute and cool watching him do his 'What the?' gesture and going aww or cheering or something. I proved my mom wrong 'cause she said the match'd be boring if I don't understand anything but I did and it was not boring at all. I'm glad I went.

DAVIIIIIID!!!!!!!!!! *hearts*

Here's some notable stuff:

• I sat beside Indira and we were both fawning over Beckham [shirt #32] who we called David whilst Farah and Dhe3 were Pato-ing. We kept screeching their names out and it was loads of laughs and stupidity. Oh yeah, me and Indira began to notice Umar's nails.
  
• At the 2nd half of the game we all became focused on the Al-Sadd player called Ali, he had long brown hair and a headband/hat thing which someone behind us said 'fucking hat' at.
• AC Milan won 2-1. We mixed up Darmian with Mattioni or whatever his name is 'cause they looked similar.
• The weather was quite cool and windy but my awesome hoodie kept me warm and I only ate magic corn.
  
• It was so awesome when the players kept rolling or tripping over or sliding on the grass and all. It's way better live than in photos.
• The people behind us were fucking hilarious and entertaining. They screamed things like 'Beckie, you fucking beauty!' which by the way was aimed at Beckham and 'We want samoosa!' and they even talked about Fajar's pizza. Tante Siwi gave them the box after that and they were like 'It's been 4 days since we ate pizza' or whatever. One of them said to me 'Thanks for the pizza, it was nice'. God, they were so funny and I couldn't stop laughing.
  
• People threw paper all over the place -__- and I took some bokeh pics. I also locked eyes with Fajar 2x or something [he started it] and it sort of scared me 'cause he never looks at me [because I am not attractive]. Never. I heard his ticket was #0600 and mine was #0601 and that kind of made me happy, shoot me.
  
• They gave out free t-shirts using gun thingies and I stood on my chair and stumbled so my ankle sort of sprained and it hurted terribly. Fajar luckily got one and was eager to open it but got disappointed when he saw Jafal Rashed's pic instead of Beckham or Maldini or something LOL. But he's still lucky.

That's basically it. The fangirling, rooting, awwing, speculating, laughing and Umar admirating were the good parts. I guess watching football isn't so bad after all.

Fajar the fucking asshole catching his souvenir shirt

I left this angry part for last because I'm feeling it right now so yeah. I'm currently grudging and hating Fajar due to private reasons I'll never tell anyone 'cept God, Who already knows, so I'll just discuss it with Him 'cause He'll listen of course. Anyway this time I think Fajar's taken it too far and I am so not responsible for this silent distance of ours. Why won't he end it? It's his fault. HIS FAULT. I was the one trying to help so why should I be the one to start and say sorry? Let him do it, I'm not gonna. I hate him. After we came home tonight his PM was this:

If I so happen to be one of the people he hates then fine, I DON'T CARE 'cause I fuckin' hate him too. I don't deserve to be hated though. Lousy ditching asshole, hurting my feelings on purpose. ON PURPOSE, and I know it. His idiotic smiles today made me wanna tear him from limb to limb, the reason of his derivations of happiness I wanna destroy, his fucking handsomeness I wanna shred with a razorblade, his kind and friendliness I wish was for me...
It's not easy having a typical, especially good-looking, guy for a best friend you know. Especially since I'm his only best friend, who is a girl. So he's lame at feelings and friendships.
Well anyway if you guys know me any better you'd know I actually still really really #$@$ Fajar and all the hatred I expressed above is just something that I'm going through right now - I don't know if that's the case for him, 'cause I don't even know if he ever #$@$s me or not - but I do mean it; I do hate him. He IS a fucking asshole. But someone who's been with you for nearly 3 years and stuck with you even when you changed, fought with them for15 times but still continued being the best of friends nevertheless and made them cry when you know they hardly do - especially since it's a GUY - isn't someone you can let go easily. Since the beginning he's always showed me loyalty. I don't know what happened to it - did it run off, hide, get replaced by hatred... or did it go for a walk and will come back later? I pray for the last, amin.

I'm still mad at him though.

P.s. I have a question: I give loads of attention and sometimes compliments to Fajar, so why do you think he hates it and me whenever I talk about or to a cool guy? Why is he jealous because of what I do? Why not be jealous of all the other fangirls in our community? Why ME?