The intimidating Orientation Schedule *cue horror BGM*
Do you know how much I hate time difference and summer holidays? Here I am again ranting my feelings to my blog, when I could've to Cania or Carisa or Fajar or Hamzah, the people I normally vent thoughts to. Even though I wouldn't say EVERYTHING to them, at least they'll reply, unlike a blog! Seriously, I miss getting responses, communicating T~T Well I will starting tomorrow but with new people and it's not like I'll immediately curhat with them right? I need my best friends at times like thiiis~
Anyway, speaking of new people, tomorrow and the day after my orientation will take place, and you really don't know how nervous, shy, afraid, anxious and intimidated I am. Specially the shy. My fear of meeting new people will be at its peak starting the 19th. If you happened to have looked at the schedule up there, well let me tell you something - did you notice the first day's for 9 hours? Yeah. In the 1st hour I enter Berthoud Hall, they already have a meeting-other-students session! There's another 30 minutes after welcome-age, and before the BBQ. Oh, yes, the BBQ. That's the worst part. It lasts for 2 hours. And another thing, my family won't be with me so basically I'm on my own, well it's not like I've never been alone before but this is a HUGE step [which I am unfortunately taking at 17] and it's something else.
Since I am 4% the type to start conversations with strangers, it worries me if people will approach me or not, you know? Once I'm close with someone though I tend to show more intimacy, but we're talking about people I've never seen before here. Will people come up and talk to me? Will I immediately click with someone? Will I end up alone [na'udzhubillah]? And most importantly, will I be OK? All those questions kept running in my head ever since I got the schedule! God will give me someone to talk to right? Amin. You know what, I'm just gunna trust Him. But I'm still nervous anyway.
'Cause there's another problem. On the 21st, Friday, which is the day before Ramadan [which I won't be spending with Sekompond crycrycrycry], I'm gunna move into my dorm. College starts on the 25th, so basically I'll spend 4 days with my suitemates before I meet my classmates. And you know what one of them has planned for the 1st night we move in? A dinner. To get to know each other of course. But again, I'm freakishly nervous, because all my suitemates are American, non-Muslim, probably not interested in what I like, people who lived a different life from me. If there was at least an Asian or Muslim [which was what we applied for, a Muslim suitemate, but didn't get any!] I would feel more comfortable, but guess what, life just got harder than it already was... for me. I'll be shortest, youngest and the only one covering my entire body 'cept face and hands. IT'S GUNNA FEEL SO WEIRD!!!!!!!!! I do wanna meet my future suitemates but like I said... everything's so opposite to what I'm used to. Back in QIS, in Year 10, I only knew Madusa and Sammy and Jenny 'cause all my other friends moved away right. Because I had people I knew with me, it wasn't hard to get to know the new ones - Shaza, Iman, Saba. I became close with Lara and Haya by myself but you get the point. That's why that dinner thing and moving in earlier than the first day of college worries me. Thankfully I think I'll handle the Orientation with my strong beliefs in God and... maybe I'll try to communicate. Maybe.
Anyway, speaking of new people, tomorrow and the day after my orientation will take place, and you really don't know how nervous, shy, afraid, anxious and intimidated I am. Specially the shy. My fear of meeting new people will be at its peak starting the 19th. If you happened to have looked at the schedule up there, well let me tell you something - did you notice the first day's for 9 hours? Yeah. In the 1st hour I enter Berthoud Hall, they already have a meeting-other-students session! There's another 30 minutes after welcome-age, and before the BBQ. Oh, yes, the BBQ. That's the worst part. It lasts for 2 hours. And another thing, my family won't be with me so basically I'm on my own, well it's not like I've never been alone before but this is a HUGE step [which I am unfortunately taking at 17] and it's something else.
Since I am 4% the type to start conversations with strangers, it worries me if people will approach me or not, you know? Once I'm close with someone though I tend to show more intimacy, but we're talking about people I've never seen before here. Will people come up and talk to me? Will I immediately click with someone? Will I end up alone [na'udzhubillah]? And most importantly, will I be OK? All those questions kept running in my head ever since I got the schedule! God will give me someone to talk to right? Amin. You know what, I'm just gunna trust Him. But I'm still nervous anyway.
'Cause there's another problem. On the 21st, Friday, which is the day before Ramadan [which I won't be spending with Sekompond crycrycrycry], I'm gunna move into my dorm. College starts on the 25th, so basically I'll spend 4 days with my suitemates before I meet my classmates. And you know what one of them has planned for the 1st night we move in? A dinner. To get to know each other of course. But again, I'm freakishly nervous, because all my suitemates are American, non-Muslim, probably not interested in what I like, people who lived a different life from me. If there was at least an Asian or Muslim [which was what we applied for, a Muslim suitemate, but didn't get any!] I would feel more comfortable, but guess what, life just got harder than it already was... for me. I'll be shortest, youngest and the only one covering my entire body 'cept face and hands. IT'S GUNNA FEEL SO WEIRD!!!!!!!!! I do wanna meet my future suitemates but like I said... everything's so opposite to what I'm used to. Back in QIS, in Year 10, I only knew Madusa and Sammy and Jenny 'cause all my other friends moved away right. Because I had people I knew with me, it wasn't hard to get to know the new ones - Shaza, Iman, Saba. I became close with Lara and Haya by myself but you get the point. That's why that dinner thing and moving in earlier than the first day of college worries me. Thankfully I think I'll handle the Orientation with my strong beliefs in God and... maybe I'll try to communicate. Maybe.
Oh why does my life have to be so complicated.....
and I'm only 17 and not able to get a credit card unless I have a job.......
and I'm only 17 and not able to get a credit card unless I have a job.......
0 replies:
Post a Comment