I KNEW THIS ENTRY WOULD BE FREAKIN LONG.
you can't tell what their relationship is
I will now tell you all a tale of somewhat sorrow, merriness and fantasy. To cut introduction short, I who previously thought going to Dufan was cancelled discovered from MD that we were actually going but we had to wait for dad to pick up her car from the bengkel which literally took hours. I was playing it cool by saying 'I don't mind going to Dufan, as long as there's a ride I want to' but inside I was like IF WE DON'T GO I'M GOING TO REGRET IT, I HAVE TO SEE FAJAR yada2. In the car we listened to SuJu's 3rd album (Y)
We were late. As we entered the tickets booth a thought suddenly struck me. WTH SHOULD I SAY? HOW SHOULD I GREET HIM? and other typical worry-wart Bs stuff. My heart started racing LIKE MAD like never before, I swear. It was gunna explode. I was so. fakin. nervous. I kept twitting in caps lock about how panicky, nervous and worried I was, that I felt like dying or better yet, GOING HOME. I seriously didn't want to be there anymore. But I couldn't turn back. So I kept smsing Hamzah my rants lolz. Felt good, 'cause he's my comfort zone person thing.
We finally walked inside, I could still feel the thunderous thumping [oo alliteration] in my chest. Me and Fajar haven't had a proper conversation since the 13th of April. So basically it's been 3.5 months. Of course it's natural for me to be nervous, right? Right. But when me and my sisters found them after a hideously long walk, the anxiety suddenly disappeared and I smiled and waved at him. He smiled back. Then we all started walking off and I grabbed his shoulder and hissed, 'Don't ignore me' 'cause all the way through the car ride I had a hunch he will.
WHICH HE SO FLIPPIN' DID. OMG right after I said that to him he walked off and simply GLUED to the other guys and kept a minimum 5 metre distance from me so I ended up talking to Iwan and then Izza who I immediately felt comfortable with even if it's been 2 years. My thoughts were swimming: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IGNORING ME MAN?; YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SMSED ME TO 'buru ksini' AND AND I KNOW YOU WANTED ME TO COME TODAY, SO WHY AM I BEING PEANUT-ED [dikacangin]??!! Stupid sms of liesss, LIES. He was so far away, I'm serious ;____;
Even when we were lining up for McDonald's. All of us 'cept Yayan and Fajar were lining up to order. I kept twitting and smsing EVEN TO UMAR TO ASK FOR ADVICE [which when I got home he replied to in twit 'cause he prolly didn't have credit, he told me to just have fun, gah why is he so nice]. When Fajar came in the restaurant Jangan Menyerah started playing and I was like fak this song; he only went in to talk to Afif and Iwan BLEEEEEH [by the way all I did as we lined up besides fiddling with my phone was converse with Yusmawan]. In the end I decided not to worry about that brat anymore, if he doesn't wanna talk to me then FINE trserah. I couldn't be bothered to waste my time again. Being the dreamer person I am, I started imagining what would happen if Hamzah was there, which was that I'd be in my most comfortable state ever talking to him /heart
We sat on the freakin' floor to eat. There were 6 chicken nuggets and medium fries for me but I couldn't finish the latter, sorry, was too full in the stomach and of leftover angst to consume any more. By the way Hiyal was supposed to come but she had lessons or whatever so she didn't. I don't know if my eyes were fooling me but once when I turned to my right which was where Fajar was sitting, he happened to be looking back, so basically our eyes met, but then I faced down immediately to continue eating and pondered if what just happened was what I thought it was.
After we all finished eating, people scurried off to do stuff Idk what. Since I was already done I had to wait but I didn't really know what to do until I heard that we were gunna play that alien shooting game thingy which was exactly the game I've been thinking about to compete with Fajar with. So...... I panicked again. I've been thinking of calling Hamzah since I arrived in that place but I knew he wouldn't care or say anything towards my problem so I thought of Arya who is like THE BEST GUY AND PERSON TO CURHAT WITH EVER especially of Fajar matters 'cause he's read all my jeremiads about him. That's when it hit me, I searched for Man has an Usia in my phone contacts and WOH HIS INDO NUMBER WAS FREAKIN THERE so I pressed call and ring ring......... HE FREAKIN PICKED UP!!!!!!! I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT NUMBER WAS STILL ALIVE!
Hearing his voice was so comforting/lega however you describe it. I started blabbing to him the entire story with major focus on my current problem. When I talk on the phone I tend to walk around a lot so that's what I did, for 12 minutes lol. The only advice Arya gave me was to just talk to Fajar before I totally regret everything later, which was the best thing to do really. Telling someone your worries really helps ;__; I wanted to keep the conversation going but suddenly the line went off and I realised my pulsa went from RP5000 or something to RP 2... Great.
Well anyway the girls came back and they were deliberating whether to really play the shooting game or not and that wasted time so after begging me and Izza just scurried off to line up. I was afraid nobody would join especially the idiot but when I turned around to check I found him following us by himself but he went back, to bring the others. Iwan didn't join us 'cause he wanted to keep Tante Siwi company awww, nice son (Y) Izza actually hates Super Junior but she likes Sorry Sorry so we listened to it from my iPod :'D The waiting took like 10 minutes or more and all we did was talk and take pictures. Fajar was of course paying attention to Afif who has better hair now.
OK, since I really DIDN'T wanna regret today, when we finally went inside the blue-lit building I grabbed Fajar's hoodie with no sweat and said something like 'Hey why are you ignoring me, I told you not to, emank enak ya cuekin Bs?' and then he replied 'Emank kenapa kalo dicuekin, ngga kiamat juga kan?' and my brain was thinking WELL IT ISN'T BUT IT SURE DOES FEEL THAT WAY, but before adding an evil comeback I think he said 'Lagian kamu cuekin aku/Fajar/gue juga' and then inside I went Wow Arya was right... Imagine if I didn't start, we would've ignored each other all day o___O; Even so, 'til now, I still don't know why he hasn't started first.
So finally I was talking to my long-lost best friend again after nearly 4 months. We had silences. It was never usually that way when we're together, 'cause those were comfortable, normal kinda silences. This one was a bit different. But I guess we did say a lot to each other. I was surprised when he suddenly asked 'Tadi nelfon siapa' and after I said 'Arya' he put on a teasing face and said 'Oh dikirain Umar' and I was like 'Hah no way'; OK that was random,and impossible, Umar?
I remembered from 2 years ago that Fajar was scared of roller coasters so I inquired about it to him and he said he was fine with them now so I planned to drag him to ride it later. I also remember that Fajar wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel and I was thinking 'WTF why would you wanna ride THAT?'. Since the line was long the things we said were of all sorts and I don't remember much but Izza joined us 2 when I was showing off the fact that I have a driver's license and she doesn't *evil laugh*. I do remember that I didn't let him see my SIM when Izza was speculating it and he thought 'oh, ga pake krudung ya'. When Izza was asking about Fajar's age he said 14 and I said 12, she didn't know who to believe so she was confirming really, 12? and I was like iyaaa 12; I expected Fajar to complain to me but he just said 'iya deh, [12]'.
102991020 hours later we got on the ride! I was sitting next to Fajar as I wished and we all started realising how boring and lame the game was after 3 minutes of shooting red dots, which coincidentally he and I kept aiming at the same one so my score was SO FREAKING LOW. I was also finally able to see his dorky side again when he took Afif's gun and his and started shooting everywhere xD Before getting off I asked for everybody's score and they did way better than me, even after Fajar saw it he laughed, so much for competition >.>
Outside, people went off to sholat and I discovered that ahoushi was flippin goin' home soon and I tried to persuade him to stay longer but he just snapped and said 'OMG, I can't OK' and stated his reasons. Really there was nothing we could do -x- I started to panic again and pleaded Icha for some credit, RP2000, so I could call Arya. After some minutes I hung up and decided to call Hamzah, it was soooooooooo nice hearing his voice again ;__; I wasn't even done with the call when it got shut off, I checked my pulsa again and it was RP 56 or something UGHH. Well anyway when I was done with my phone the people were going to some photo booth and I was like huh why are we taking a picture there? but I joined anyway.
Then it was off to Halilintar! Sadly the Sudarsana family had to wait for the photo to develop so we left them and Ocha and Hira there. I sat next to MD and freakin' rekamed the ride lolz and for once I opened my eyes throughout 8D We then had Ocha and Hira issues 'cause we couldn't find them at the previous area so basically they were missing - the Sudarsanas were too. Icha then found out that Tante Siwi and Iwan were riding the roller coaster also. When I asked about Fajar she said 'Lha kan Fajar takut' and I was like '... I thought he wasn't scared anymore...' and came to my own conclusion that he told me he wasn't so he'd appear more mature.
I was scared that those 3 would go home suddenly and therefore no proper goodbye, so when me and MD searched for the kids whilst Icha and co. went off to line up for Kora Kora and she called saying Fajar was already with them, I was relieved [wow that sentence was troublesome to type up]. After Ocha and Hira were found we took 'em to the ride, the others were already deep in the line, Fajar saw me and I must admit I like it when he looks at me, hahahaha. OK fine I like it when anyone looks at me in a err, amidst the crowd way [experienced it plenty of times with Hamzah and we reply with a Wth are you looking at? expression]. He said 'where's everyone else [or something like that], Bs?' and to myself I thought omg he said my name, it's been ages...... D':
The ride was scarier than I thought so I screamed :'D I was busy recording Izza and sometimes the others too, and I don't know again if my eyes were tricking me but at one time me and Fajar were looking at each other and he smiled at me in a warm way but according to my videos it wasn't recorded so it could just be my bad memory. But I'm sure I saw it. When we got off apparently Icha had been clutching Fajar's shoulders in fear even though he himself [I witnessed it] was closing his eyes but pretended not to be scared. In the ride his eyes were so red I swear xD
Well we then ventured to Niagara-gara. The girls were absorbed in conversation and I simply walked alone with Fajar behind me, silently wishing he would come up to me and talk. He got a phone call. When I turned around he was gone. We waited for his return but he appeared with Tante Siwi and Iwan too so I was guessing it's home time. It was only 6pm but he was meant to be gone by 3-ish so you don't know how thankful to God I was for the time extension. He got along well with Izza so he was joking around with her as Iwan presented me a plastic bag and in natural shock I said 'HEH THIS IS FOR ME? Thank you~' and they told me to look inside and I found a ceramic rectangle with that photo of us we took earlier! Apparently it was Tante Siwi's idea I think so I thanked her to bits. It was such a nice and unexpected gift ;__;
After FajWanZza had a picture together I took out Hamzah's badges which I'm really sad I couldn't present them to him myself then told Fajar 'Hey give this to Hamzah OK, jangan sampe ketinggalan!' and he looked at me and said 'Hadiahnya Fajar/aku gimana?' so that's when I finally presented him the gift I've been preparing for him for like ages. He stared at the plastic wrapping which had an Animonster Posterbook sticker on it with one eyebrow raised and I simply ranted 'Hahah sorry I didn't have time to wrap it properly, by the way DON'T open it 'til you get home and DON'T open it in front of other people, OK, and oh yeah it's not finished sorry and it's memalukan to give it to you but yeah' bla3. I think he grinned and said thanks and started walking towards the exit with his family. His mother was speaking to him and the boy pointed at the present and then at me o___O; They were going the wrong way so I said that. I also said bye to that idiot and honestly don't remember at all how he replied. MD was like 'did you guys hug?' and I wanted to have been drinking something so I could spit it on her face, but I just spluttered in disbelief and said 'WTH NO AS IF'. The rest of us continued to Niagara-gara and I turned around to look at him for the last time, but I only saw his back walking away, a view I've countlessly seen millions of times when we used to fight.
Even though we were 2 people short we still acted dumb and had fun anyway. I forgot to mention that the real Steve was there and you don't know how badly I tried to hold in my laughter 'cause I remembered Nisa and thought of how funny it would be if she was there with us, so we could BOTH lol together. Niagara-gara had such a long line so we went in the mirror house and then rode the dumb Istana Boneka thingy in which Yayan and Izza kept walking on the stage lolz. Oh yeah and Icha kept telling Afif to take photos, seriously I don't know HOW he obeyed her orders every single time but that makes him a nice, obedient brother/guy. After that ride we went on the mini coaster which was SO MUCH FUN because it zoomed 3x faster than before, but my hips hurt. Then stupidly enough we rode the CAROUSEL which I've been neglecting since the age of 8 or something.
When that was over with we wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel 'cause there was gunna be a fireworks show but the line was too long [I bet couples raided it] so we bought Hop Hop. However as soon as we finished ordering we heard explosions! so me, Izza and Afif left our siblings to pick up the drinks and ran off to find a good spot to view works of fire. Afif was taking pictures of Izza by force whilst I took only 2 and suddenly stopped when I took a good look at how pretty and romantic? everything was - the colourful fireworks blasting against the black sky and its reflection glimmering on the lake in front of me, and how empty the dark place we were standing in was. After taking in all of that, I thought of only one person I wished was there with me.
Well since Izza's driver was mad at her 'cause he had to wait for so long, we went home at 7:30-ish. My legs were dying but I had loads of energy to sing along to SuJu in the car ;D Back at home though I lazily lied in bed laptoping only to have my parents suddenly barging in telling me to sort out my luggage and I got extremely pissed off. My back was gunna break! To make it worse, my laptop fell again... Before I went to bed I blogged.
So that was my day at Dufan. It wasn't what my mind has been thinking about but I'm just really really thankful to spend like 4+ hours with Fajar again. I wanted to, you know, have a somehow personal conversation together, as in talking about our summer and other issues I won't display in public, but we never had one, which pretty much ruins 1/4 of a section of my Dream Dufan Day. I've always daydreamed about it since the start of summer and sincerely inserted no exaggeration at all. But well, that's my life.
Carisa, Cania, Umar, Hamzah, you guys could've been in that picture ;__;
p.s. all of the above was 3019 words, if you managed to read the entire thing then thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks
