dotdotdot •

oh and another thing

2010-01-12T12:02:00.000+03:00

Let me just say that whatever [personal thing] I say on Twitter or Tumblr or Blogger is never ever to catch anyone's attention. I don't say things so that people will go Syania what's wrong? or Syania who are you talking about? I do it because that's just how I work. You choose to care or not care. My mind is overflowed with billions of thoughts and dreams and my heart with feelings. It is not pleasant to keep everything in. If you wish to do something when I'm being down or seem as if I'm directing my words at you then do so because that would be really nice and I still want to know which humans out there are loving and caring.

K the other point about this entry is uhh, well, bits and pieces of things I've been thinking about that I want to pour out [thank the period].

Sometimes on Twitter I see people say things... that I think others should respond to. Like I saw Dinda talk about having a fight with someone? I was backtracking and I realised that nobody said anything to her after that. Now as I said earlier, she probably doesn't expect anyone to but still, don't you think she needs support? It was too late for me to say Dinda I hope things get better so I didn't. And another thing, when people show things to us through links... I find it sad when noone comments about them ~.~ I think a small LOL or whatever is a nice enough deed. Nobody wants to feel ignored ):

Oh I'll also declare this - I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE REPLY TO TWITS WITH RT'S AFTER THEM. Reason quite clear.

Another thing... How does it feel when someone you love or... like... trusts you and talks about you in public and thinks a lot about you and you know it? From what I remember... it makes me happy but heartwrenched a bit. When Fajar used to be important and my best friend forever, I remember seeing him talk about me in his PMs or statuses, I remember Adam telling me that he talks to him about me a lot and bla3. And when I saw and heard such things, I felt glad he still cares, but the problem was... it was hard to do anything about it. I knew that if I did something, everything will be alright but I did nothing, for a long time. Time dragged on. And most of the time it had to be him to start. When he did, we were back to normal and I had tend to wonder what would've happened if I took action earlier. Even though as of this moment I still know such feelings, I haven't learned how to do the right thing about it. Actually, I know what to do, but I can't do it. Even if I also know that the other side [slightly] feels the same way. It's my current problem. I think it's mainly because I'm scared. partly because I'm stupid. and a little bit because I wish I'm the one being ran after and held on to when caught.

Ahh so many things running in my mind I wish I could stop. It gets in the way of college stuff plus my general mood... stupid period with the bad timing ~__~

idk lol

2010-01-12T11:45:00.002+03:00

I suddenly felt like blogging. Well, could've done this at Tumblr but I have 77 followers and I feel awkward typing about private things there [+ doing so in Indonesian isn't comfortable] ... so I went here. I reached the dorm at 12am-ish 'cause there were 3 other people in my bus and driving them to their living areas took 2 hours ): I discovered that we have 2 new suitemates and I haven't met them yet but saw one of them pass by my room. I wasn't sleepy yet so I stayed up 'til 6:40AM backtracking sites and fangirling as usual, then went to bed. I woke up at 2:30pm and I have my period so it's OK but because of that I feel really, really exhausted than I should be. Or maybe I already am? I just want to stay in bed but apparently I have to get these forms for my registration; you see, some of my classes clash so I need written permission from the professor to let me take the class at a different time. It's so ribet and it sucks sorting it alone but I have God to help me. I was meant to do that today but Maghrib's in 1 hour and I don't want to go out in the dark. I was also meant to go to the supermarket but like I said, I'm exhausted. And I don't wanna overuse my energy when tomorrow's the 1st day. I'm scared and nervous just like I was in the Fall semester. Why? Obvious. New semester = new classes = new people. In college you don't see the same people every term unless you organise your schedules together. Hopefully this term I can actually make real friends. Ever since I went to Qatar I've been learning more things about Islam and basically grew more religious alhamdulillah and I decided that I will be positive and hopeful this time. I have returned to the US as a better person, amin. I will try not to bitch about being lonely. I will try not to be depressed every single day. I will continue praying and hoping and trusting and seeking help from God. If any of you bothered reading this I wish you would support and pray a little for me too. It's still extremely hard to live here ):

p.s. I think I'll just stay in my room for the rest of the day

apex of sneezes

2010-01-10T18:56:00.008+03:00

i made this private in my tumblr so it doesn't appear on my page so i'll post it here too |D

me: well, no more hugs for the next 4 months
dhia: cie, hugs from whoo @biiesh ? haha
me: @imdhia kekekkekekeekekekekeke
dhia: hayoo @biiesh , fajar ya? apa @Jimprz? ngakuuu! haha
me: @imdhia jaaaah mereka, g lah g lah, si itu lho yg satunya ;)
dhia: @biiesh oooh kembaranya jimp.... HEHEHE. peluk bi sana peluk sosor, wkwk
me: @imdhia HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA g akan [eh peluk sosor apaan?]
dhia: @biiesh sosor itu kaya... tiba2 gitu loh. hehe tiba2 nyium. wkwk :P
me: @imdhia PFFFFFFFFFFFFFT
umar: /sneeze
dhia: @biiesh kenapa PFFFFT? blm pernah sih, enak lho. HAHAHAHAH :P
me: @rreizend i know why you typed that @imdhia woo enak? se-gimana? HAHAHA
umar: @biiesh LOL (irl) you do you? xD
dhia: @biiesh WAHAHAH. cie @rreizend merasa diomongin ya (emg diomongin sih). ya gt bi enak, mkanya cobain. ngomong seenak jidat kaya makanan aja
me: @rreizend what's with the repetition of you?! HAHAH i made you LOL (irl) keke and yes i do? try me?
me: @imdhia "ngomong seenak jidat kaya makanan aja" G NGERTI DHI AHAHAHA. ehh kan harus di approve dia dulu LOLOLOL i'm dead meat
umar: @biiesh geh. i meant "you do do you?"
umar: RT: @biiesh: WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAA OOOOOOH WHOAAA UWOWHOA BIG BANG, NO BRAIN
dhia: @biiesh hha aku blg 'enak' when we were actually talking about sosor2an kan? aku blg 'enak'gampang bgt gitu, as if im saying enak to makanan
dhia: OKE @biiesh why are we even talking about inappropriate things? haha (aku yg mulai sih) :P
me: @imdhia AAAAAAH RIBET LOLOLOL @rreizend hahah yes yes you know that i know
me: @imdhia b.cuz inappropriate things are SCANDALous ;)
me: SARAENGHAE CHINGGUYEO!!! /disrupts household peace
umar: srsly, i was going to find th lyrics for this climax. @_@RT: @biiesh: SARAENGHAE CHINGGUYEO!!! /disrupts household peace
dhia: @biiesh THEY'RE GUILTY PLEASURES too ya knooooow .__________.
me: @rreizend oh homeboy when will you learn that we're destined to face coincidences
dhia: @rreizend yaharmukallah :D knp? ada yg ngomongin ya? HAHHA
umar: lol scandalous is a name of a scandal blog xDDD RT: @biiesh: @imdhia b.cuz inappropriate things are SCANDALous ;)
umar: @imdhia xD LOL tahu dri mana klo bersin di omongin org?
me: @rreizend how about they make an entry about us? now THAT'S SCANDALous ;) ;) /laughing so hard on the inside
dhia: @rreizend ahah ga sih, iseng aja twingtwing
me: @rreizend LOL DUDE that's what i meant when i said i know why you sneezed XD
umar: im saying this from my apex (get it.. apex is th bottom of your heart.. heheh)
me: apex is the bottom of your heart?! but i googled and it said it's the highest point of something! @rreizend
umar: @biiesh lol i know tht, im asking her how does she know this Px
umar: @biiesh apex of heart
me: @rreizend she said was just iseng2? apex of heart... what's that? D: D: i don't take bio
umar: @biiesh sorry xD i meant "search apex of heart"
me: OMG LOLOL HOMEBOY @RREIZEND SAID TO ME "SEARCH APEX OF HEART" AND I LITERALLY TYPED "SEARCH APEX OF HEART" ON GOOGLE
umar: @biiesh abt tht scandalous, u do know i was talking abt SCANDAL right? x) (just askin jusat askin)
me: @rreizend JUSAT ASKIN SOUNDS LIKE A NAME LMFAO. and of course i know you were talkin about ~*SCANDAL*~ but did you know i was joking?!
umar: @biiesh yea, kinda..

contemplate

2010-01-09T03:44:00.001+03:00

Whenever she wakes up in the morning, she looks at her mobile and sees the time. When enough sleep is preserved, her eyes stay awake until it's time to shut them again for deep slumber. Every early hour of the day, the girl walks up to her window and stares outside. Sometimes she remains like that for a few seconds and it can go up to minutes, but never hours. She simply sits on the couch and watches the purple and pink sky, gradually forming a pretty shade of blue. When all was visible was coloured nothingness, she sighs and leaves, but if there were puffs of white clouds, or signs of the moon or rays peeping out, she stays.

Maybe sometimes the girl would bother stepping out the door with her camera, the sacred object that allows her to capture every vivid moment of a sunrise. Each one is different. There are never the same shaped clouds, the way beams sprinted from the great ball of fire varied, it always changes. And she would enjoy it all. The girl would tamper with buttons and lenses after every tens of clicks and nods of satisfaction. She may go as far as climbing up the ladder to the rooftop, because the buildings blocked that whispy cloud over there, or the palm trees quite destroyed the empty look she was aiming for. When she is done, she stares at the beauty she has managed to still, unlike the happy memories from her past.

When she goes to the park, empty cans and plastics litter the fresh cut grass. She puts away her camera and intends to dispose of them in the respected places, but she remembers the task of those obliged to do such activities. Instead of ringing the strap around her neck and hoisting black bulk on her small hands again, she blinks and stares at what is in front and not below her. There are miniature towers of wood, with vegetation growing out of the little windows. They were spread out along the vast green as if they would harm each other when brought into smaller perimeters. The girl observes as some would have bellies, or depriving of them, thus seemingly anorexic. She loves how the flowers are arranged so neatly in few areas but are of enough colour to form a small masterpiece and how the ripples on the lake are uniform and just the fact that traces of mankind are absent, most of the time. It is just her and the sky and the ground and the trees. Simple beauty so difficult to enrapture human hearts.

One day, she wakes up with the inability to see.

After tens to millions of repeated rubbing of her eyelids, she realises she is blind. The girl stumbles her way out of the covers, feels the walls and doors and obstacles with her vigorously trembling fingers and discovers her way to her comfort spot. The couch, an ordinary household essential, but meaningful. She gropes for the curtains and jerks them sideways, pleading and begging, but all she could perceive was black, just black. Like she was in a galaxy with no stars. She fears the consequences, so she holds back oceans of tears. Sitting there like a display mannequin, she wonders. She looks - although that verb may be hopeless from now on - outside, if that is even the right direction and shatters at the realisation that nature is no longer hers to admire.

It seems like eternity as she finally decides to stand up and attempt to walk to the door. The girl reaches for the handle and after grasping it, she takes a deep, long breath and blinks in her head. There should be many reasons for her to keep her eyesight, but destiny matter of factly chose the girl to lose it. She does not know why. Then she opens the door and tilts her head up, eyes curious at the sight - however, after an instant, she just knew - Like rain, that is just how life goes.

_________________

LOL this is what people who overthink come up with. That should answer any possible questions you may have. Intended to make a "happy ending" but instead...

i'll write depressing things and if anyone reads nobody cares

2010-01-04T17:08:00.010+03:00

Well this is not how I wanted my first entry in half a year to be like, but I couldn't possibly type about my small 20 minutes at school in Tumblr. Posts about QIS solely belong to this dear blog, no matter how sad.

When I stepped out of the house the first thing I noticed was the clouds. They were whispy and long and thin and you don't see them like that in Colorado, ever. I thought about bringing my camera but remembered that MD took it with her to Indo. Before that however I thought about Hamzah; I swear everytime I see pretty clouds, no matter where in the world I am, he pops in my brain. The reason why is pretty clear

In the car I just. stared at the sky. imagining things that will never happen as usual, oh I don't know, like going outside this evening and somehow miraculously talking to him again. Hello. Hey2~ The clouds are so nice today. I know right? Can I borrow your camera prz MD took mine to Indo. Oh OK, what for? Idk, she has this free elective for photography. OMG so lucky of her. Yeah I know. Btw I wanna go up the rooftop. But we can't go just the two of us... Dude OF COURSE I know that, that's why I'm going alone. Wait2 ok I won't be long sorry. I can't believe I'm 17 and still daydream shit like that.

I arrived at school early. I watched everyone come out of the buildings and my heart wrenched. I wished I was still walking out like them, and not walking in. When people saw me, after we hugged, most asked, why are you here? 'Scuse me for being easily butthurt but that offended me. A lot. Is it wrong to just wanna see your friends? What other reason could there be. If only they said, glad to see you here at school again ^^ instead. But I forget the sort of fate a person like me receives.

School was different. Maybe. I didn't like it. I know Carisa and Dinda have afterschool activity together but I didn't expect to see them actually sticking to each other like that before leaving with Umar to wherever, a little less late than I preferred. Matar, won't you stay and talk to me even for a few more minutes? Dhe3 disappeared without saying bye, Cania was 4 minutes early to go to her activity - Cania, why do you have to go so early? Don't you wanna see me? Sorry of course I want to see you! But I really need to go... Fine, bye. I'm not gunna come here everyday you know. And he didn't look at me.

I don't know whether people have started dispersing now or simply because today's Monday and everyone has activities or it's just always like that since the beginning of the 2009-2010 school year. In the end, I stayed 'til 1 past talking to Dhea and Nisa and Marsya and Amsyiah, the former invited me over to her house but she will be having exams so I declined.

I walked to the car after saying bye and only saw Ocha, Anty and Salmaniye. Mom, what about Salman? He'll go with Tante Ita. Kenapa ga sekalian bareng aja? Katanya mau kerumah Fadhli dulu. Oh. And Khalid was in Fajar's car.

It was a hard task, trying to hide away the fact you're crying from your mom who was sitting next to you and your sister who could see you from the rearview mirror. Simply put, I didn't expect my visit to school to end up so lonely and unwelcomed. I stared down at my iPod and held my forehead with my hand so mom wouldn't discover. The clouds started to disappear and I skipped all the K-Pop, the J-Rock, the happy, upbeat songs and cursed to myself and shouted on the inside how much I wanted to die. Nak, kecilin volumenya, kekerasan. No. I want to shut out the stupid world.

We were at the petrol station and my mom and sister went to the mini mart. I looked up and realised I was alone and the car was being filled up. My heart stopped and so did my tears and I realised. I could die right now, if the tank blows up. Suddenly a scene of mom and Ocha walking out of the shop watching their car bursting into flames appeared in my brain and I started praying like hell I'll be fine, hurry up and come back here, I regret wishing to die. I regret it. God I am so fuckin paranoid. This is why I want to be in a mental hospital where nothing can bother me except insanity. My arms were actually shaking when I typed that.

Maybe there's no point in visiting school anymore. There's gunna be no more Quality Bs/Hamzah Time anyway. Not even dancing to K-Pop songs with the girls, or commenting on the boys and talking about teachers and what happened that day.

At home at around 4 I remembered and looked out the window to find a clear sky. Fckin stupid daydreams.

2009-09-27T19:18:00.003+03:00

IS BLOGGER DEAD?
well, my blog is. might post from time to time,
but like now i'm just active on twitter and tumblr
[and Facebook and Deviantart duh]

what is...

2009-09-18T07:33:00.000+03:00

love?
a best friend?
a true friend?
the truth?

I don't understand any of the above anymore.
I think I've lost all of them.
Someone I thought was my best friend....
Someone I thought I was really in love with, specially that smile of his...
Something I thought I could believe was the truth...
People I thought were true to me...

Do they still exist in my life, my heart?
Has everything I've ever gotten been taken away from me?

this is why my heart is slowly getting emptier
i really don't know what i have now. i want them back.

2009-09-13T18:30:00.000+03:00

maybe if my parents listened, if i wasn't so intelligent, i would be sitting on a desk with sunlight pouring on the sheet of paper in front of me, as i draw with my asian classmates, right now.

Loneliness is the Worst Disease.

2009-09-12T13:32:00.003+03:00

I may not have a future, but if I do, I want to spend it like that with you

I feel like blogging about sad things, 'cause happy things are currently and has often always been non-existent since I came here.
I like this town. It's green, cute, friendly and beautiful. Education wise, classes aren't so bad either, I just don't bother doing my homework. The only thing that makes me feel like I'm better off dead everyday is the fact I'm always alone. I THINK I have friends. Nadiah is a friend, no doubt. Maybe Radi is too. And Fielda. But I'm still alone. I don't hang out with them and hardly talk to them, let alone see them. I know that great friendships come naturally. It happened with me and Nisa, Fajar, Hamzah, lots of people. But I've been here for 3 weeks and nothing is progressing. Sometimes I wonder if I'm SUPPOSED to try and MAKE friends instead of waiting for things to flow like I used to. However, I don't know how to make new friends, by myself. I can't start a conversation with someone I'm not close with. I just can't. I don't even know if I'll ever talk to my classmates 'cause they either already have their own buddies, stay quiet or are totally disinterested in me. Is it because I wear the hijab so they don't wanna approach me? What does my face express, that I wanna be alone? No, I don't. Being the new kid is tough, nearly everyone felt that way before. I wish someone would realise how uncomfortable I am in such a status. Life sucks without friends. When I'm not with Nadiah and classes are over, my room is where I go. There's nowhere else to be. Noone to go anywhere with. Will there be a time when I'll play in Denver with someone every weekend, when I'll eat lunch with a friend everyday, when I can call up a mate and do homework together, will there? You'd probably say of course there will, you just have to wait, everything will be fine and you'll get used to it. I'd probably agree too. But I keep reminding myself that this is life and only Allah knows what will happen to me. My fate has been decided and it's up to me to walk through it. I pray for ages so much that I will be happy and make great friends here. I really do. Praying is the only thing I have to give me hope. I honestly wish not to care if I get low passing grades in my class. I just wanna be happier. I just wanna experience remarkable friendships again like I did in Qatar.

I also tend to imagine what it would be like if I moved to Indonesia instead of here. I'd either be in Jakarta or Bandung, living with MD or in a dorm also. At least with other Indonesian girls. I don't know why back then I didn't wanna move to Indonesia, I think life there would've been great. I really do have a lot of regrets, and it's always too late when I realise what the right thing to do is. If I was Indonesia, could I be hanging out at the mall right now with friends eating bakso or something? Or even fangirl about Super Junior with my roommates? Or even enjoying life?

Of course, nothing will ever beat my life back at Sekompond, which is where I wish I am, doing Year 13, maybe things would be different as of this moment. NOTHING. I think about my friends over there constantly, wishing I was with them, or that they were with me, sitting in the campus's green field talking or taking photos, riding the bus to downtown where we can shop together or even living in the same dorm as me so we'd meet up everytime. At home we wouldn't play outside much anymore but at least we'd get to see each other in events and definitely school. At least I would laugh 'til I cry each time I play with them and feel loved, things like that are guaranteed over there. Even if I get miserable 'cause of another fight with Fajar and ignore him for days, at least I still have other friends to go to. And things will be fine later on 'cause we always make up. I wouldn't have to feel indifferent because I wear a hijab because I'm with other Muslims too. I'd be safe and comfortable. Hey, do you guys feel the same? Do you guys wish I was still there, visible in your sight everyday? Do you guys wish we can laugh and spend time together again? I'm not the only one feeling this way right? I know I am continuously clinging to my past. I carry it with me to the present. I still communicate with everyone, wish we'll meet again and look at videos and pictures of those times. It's just, something that good you just can't let go of even if it makes you cry a lot; that's what I believe in. It's the same with people. There are 2 specific that makes my sad life a whole lot worse. Even if we're 8000 miles apart and all they do is hurt me even though I care, I still hold on to them. You could be thinking, well why the hell should I do that? I wanna be happy right, so why keep something that makes me miserable? It's because we have moments and memories dating back from about 4 years ago. Because of that, those 2 people are special to me and I want to keep things going. And it's also obviously because I love them. You just can't stop feelings for someone or end things with them only because you're separated. That's not right. Instead you should continue what you started, if they happen to be really important to you. Which they are. So if you happen to be reading, please know that I want us to be exactly like before. And I always think about you.

Terus berdoa, they say. I do that. I want to keep doing that. Percaya sama Allah. I always do, of course. But I think the devil is possessing me 'cause when I'm in a breakdown which is at least 5x a week, I really do feel like dying. Wouldn't it be great if I finished Ramadan with lots of pahala, have God forgive all my previous sins and then die? Life couldn't get more complete than that. If you're guaranteed a place in Heaven immediately, doesn't your wanting to be dead reach its highest point? You wouldn't need to continue life any longer. Plus I'd get to meet Him. I'm sure my will to die is a bad thing, but there's nothing I can do about it. Besides pray. God, I'm sorry. Astaghfirullahaladzhim. God, I hope my prayers will come true. Amin.

I miss you and I'm afraid those words are the only proof I can show you of how I feel.

No, I Don't Go Underground

2009-09-03T08:32:00.000+03:00

Where I am blogging from right now, Alderson Hall [sorry for the bad quality]

So, any of you wondering why I haven't been blogging? If there is/are, I'm surprised, genuinely. To put it simply, I don't think I'll be posting a lot of entries anymore like I used to. And the reason is equally as simple - if you want to know what's happening in my US life, all you have to do is open up a chat with me in MSN or even call in Skype [haha] whenever you're not busy, whenever I don't have class. When I do, my status will most likely be 'away', so yeah. You know I don't normally start convos, right? Don't forget we have a 9hr time difference, it changes to 10 when daylight savings is over, which is in November. It'll start again in about March.

I'd be really happy if any of you greet me, 'cause you know I'll always love you guys.

< 4 Years

2009-08-25T12:26:00.000+03:00

I moved in my dorm.
My family has left me.
I've begun going to classes.
I've finally started my 'new life' in Colorado School of Mines.

But right now, I feel so dead.
You can't say I didn't try 'cause I did.
So what do I do now, wait?

Everybody always says, "Everything will be alright",
"Good things come to those who wait",
"You'll get used to it"
How can anyone get used to loneliness?
Any of that really true?

Allah, You're the only One with me now
Wake me up from this nightmare
Resurrect me from this death I feel
I want to remember what it's like to have close friends,
laughing beside me

Amin

Semakin Jauh, Semakin Suka

2009-08-21T19:11:00.002+03:00

Have you ever had someone in your mind all the time but didn't know why?

I thought the answer was simple - because you love them, duh. That kinda love. Makes sense. That's why for the first week I stayed in the US I've been thinking of the same person 24/7, day and night, morning and evening, you name it. And I knew why. It's common. It gave me a continuous warm feeling and I liked it, I kept it that way. I'm 17, had puberty for 4.5 years, so I believe it's OK to think about love in a more serious way than an age 4 years younger than now 'cause it's not like I do anything about it. That person in my mind, he's far away, but so what? The feelings stay the same.

Then the 9th August Nightmare came.
You got an sms from her and showed it to me. It said no, don't go back to Bs, I don't want you to be happy with her. It was incomplete and you told me she sent an e-mail so I rushed over to the upstairs of the mall and hurriedly checked my mail but it didn't work. I went back to you and started interrogating you but they were around, our other friends. Needing privacy, I held your hand and we ran and ran to find it, we stumbled across the mothers along the way tripping over random pieces of furniture. You said, 'the mothers saw us holding hands!' but didn't let go anyway, we didn't care. There was finally a spot - there were the boys, but it's not like they're interested in our conversation so we lied down and had a long talk. I don't remember the words we spoke of, but as soon as someone took notice of us, we had to leave again. You sat down on the stairs and that's when I saw it - you were wearing a ring, on your ring finger. And the face you had with it was so proud and loving. What happened right after is a blur to me, but you had to go home. I received an sms from you: I think we'll never be friends again. It was because of that girl... your girlfriend. I immediately opened up MSN in a nearby computer station and saw you online. I had to set things out straight, 'cause that can't be happening, what happened to friends forever? But the line disconnected. So with all my might I rushed home and signed in and opened up a chat with you and... it all ended.

It's been 12 days, ever since I've had that dream thoughts of the person gradually increased day by day by day and now pieces of the former are scattered around unlike before. The feeling is different, it's not that kinda love, not a bit. So what is it? I don't understand at all. It's not normal to think about such a person constantly, it's not normal to have your heart beat so fast just 'cause you saw a tiny hint of them somewhere, it's actually crazy - I think I'm the only one in the world with this problem. This is where I don't know the answer to my question up there. I don't know why he's in my mind all the time.

Maybe it's true, that distance makes the heart grow fonder
but what about you?

~Intimidation~

2009-08-18T18:34:00.000+03:00

The intimidating Orientation Schedule *cue horror BGM*

Do you know how much I hate time difference and summer holidays? Here I am again ranting my feelings to my blog, when I could've to Cania or Carisa or Fajar or Hamzah, the people I normally vent thoughts to. Even though I wouldn't say EVERYTHING to them, at least they'll reply, unlike a blog! Seriously, I miss getting responses, communicating T~T Well I will starting tomorrow but with new people and it's not like I'll immediately curhat with them right? I need my best friends at times like thiiis~

Anyway, speaking of new people, tomorrow and the day after my orientation will take place, and you really don't know how nervous, shy, afraid, anxious and intimidated I am. Specially the shy. My fear of meeting new people will be at its peak starting the 19th. If you happened to have looked at the schedule up there, well let me tell you something - did you notice the first day's for 9 hours? Yeah. In the 1st hour I enter Berthoud Hall, they already have a meeting-other-students session! There's another 30 minutes after welcome-age, and before the BBQ. Oh, yes, the BBQ. That's the worst part. It lasts for 2 hours. And another thing, my family won't be with me so basically I'm on my own, well it's not like I've never been alone before but this is a HUGE step [which I am unfortunately taking at 17] and it's something else.

Since I am 4% the type to start conversations with strangers, it worries me if people will approach me or not, you know? Once I'm close with someone though I tend to show more intimacy, but we're talking about people I've never seen before here. Will people come up and talk to me? Will I immediately click with someone? Will I end up alone [na'udzhubillah]? And most importantly, will I be OK? All those questions kept running in my head ever since I got the schedule! God will give me someone to talk to right? Amin. You know what, I'm just gunna trust Him. But I'm still nervous anyway.

'Cause there's another problem. On the 21st, Friday, which is the day before Ramadan [which I won't be spending with Sekompond crycrycrycry], I'm gunna move into my dorm. College starts on the 25th, so basically I'll spend 4 days with my suitemates before I meet my classmates. And you know what one of them has planned for the 1st night we move in? A dinner. To get to know each other of course. But again, I'm freakishly nervous, because all my suitemates are American, non-Muslim, probably not interested in what I like, people who lived a different life from me. If there was at least an Asian or Muslim [which was what we applied for, a Muslim suitemate, but didn't get any!] I would feel more comfortable, but guess what, life just got harder than it already was... for me. I'll be shortest, youngest and the only one covering my entire body 'cept face and hands. IT'S GUNNA FEEL SO WEIRD!!!!!!!!! I do wanna meet my future suitemates but like I said... everything's so opposite to what I'm used to. Back in QIS, in Year 10, I only knew Madusa and Sammy and Jenny 'cause all my other friends moved away right. Because I had people I knew with me, it wasn't hard to get to know the new ones - Shaza, Iman, Saba. I became close with Lara and Haya by myself but you get the point. That's why that dinner thing and moving in earlier than the first day of college worries me. Thankfully I think I'll handle the Orientation with my strong beliefs in God and... maybe I'll try to communicate. Maybe.

Oh why does my life have to be so complicated.....
and I'm only 17 and not able to get a credit card unless I have a job.......

Homesick

2009-08-17T14:56:00.000+03:00

I took this from Cania's Livejournal and thought it would be fun to do =D

1. A picture of you in your room

Well that's a house but... na'udzhubillah.
[by the way I look REALLY BAD in that pic]

LOL this is the only one I bother to find. I'm so bored of it xD

2. A picture of you posing with someone you don't actually like
Err, I'll keep this a secret. So how about an edit?

Carisa, Cania, you may kill me now.

3. A picture with a former crush

My best friend /heart
He wasn't JUST a former crush, he was my first love but heck I moved on ~~to someone better~~.
p.s. Hamzah I know I said I'd never post that picture but this was the only one we had together since last year so forgive me ):

4. A picture of you very drunk
I REFUSE TO REVEAL MY AIB, I'm already unattractive enough OK

5. A picture of you with a parent or two.
I don't have one of those, there's always someone else in it also or I'm the one taking the pic so...

AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SO UGLY LOLOL I was 12, 12yr olds these days are a lot more cool yea? HAHAHAHAHA

6. A picture of you on your birthday, or your favourite holiday.

Meh I hardly take pics on my birthday 'cause nothing happens [cept this year :'D]
So I put Eid holiday~

7. The youngest picture you can find of yourself in digital form.

The one wearing blue eeehh how embarrassing *hides*

8. A picture of you in one of your favourite outfits.
LOLwt how should I know/remember? I don't think about that kinda stuff D:

OK so I like the QIS uniform, so what?

9. A picture of you making a goofy face at the camera.
I DON'T DO THAT SORRY. Well there is a really old one but I'm gunna put the others too MWAHAH

2006.

~~10. A picture of you showing off a new haircut. (even if it's an old haircut now)~~
Don't have one of those );

11. A picture you miiiiiight have edited to make yourself more attractive.
To make MYSELF more attractive [which I am not]?

12. A picture of something that you love.

Well that's 2 but the drawing is INSIDE the book so.. yeah ;D

13. A picture of you truly being yourself.

Ummm I can't find one of me laughing.. and both those pics up there convey myself so =\

14. The most recent picture of you.

LAME

15. A picture of you being absolutely ridiculous.
OMG SERIOUSLY WHY????? YOU WANT TO MAKE ME LOOK WORSE THAN I ALREADY AM?

There.

16. A picture of a time in your life that's over, but you wish it wasn't.

It speaks for itself...

17. A picture of a time in your life that's over, and you couldn't be more happy that it is.
I don't know....

18. A picture with your oldest friend.

UHHHH. It has to be both of them u___u

19. A picture with your newest friend.

LOLOL I have no other picture with Adam~ I THINK he's my newest friend? It'll change once I start college =\

20. A picture of you when you were anything but happy... even if you were smiling and did your best to hide it.

I've blogged about it, 'nuff said

21. A picture of you that you had no idea was being taken.

Well uh I don't think Hamzah was aiming at me but I'm in it and I didn't know so it counts! =D

22. A picture of you when you were a different person than you are now.

I was younger, happier, carefree-er... and fatter

23. A picture of you in a swimsuit - whether you love it or loathe it.
I refuse.

24. A picture of yourself that you like.

ft. Nisa. Damn look at how smaller I was ;__:

25. A picture of yourself that you hate.

There's a lot more where that came from but I'll show the less explicit (Y)

26. A picture of you with some people you love.

Indra not included.

27. A picture of how you'd like the world to see you.

Delicious. LOL NO JUST KIDDING

Perhaps that implies loving, giving and colourful? xD

28. A picture that describes how you'd like to spend every day.

29. A picture of a time when everything was changing.

30. A picture that makes your heart hurt.

Cania's presence in the picture has no influence alright

31. A picture that makes your heart smile.

There's many more of course ~

32. A picture of one of the best nights of your life. (or day)

Day.

Basically, I'm homesick

American Dream?

2009-08-16T16:35:00.008+03:00

Usually I'd type about what happens to me every single day in detail but since it's been 2 weeks since I arrived in the US, I thought that would be too much and I ain't bothered, so I'll just generalise stuff alright (Y)

Starting August 3rd!

The flights

I smsed lots of people before I got in the mega cold plane.

From Jakarta to Hong Kong, it was 4.5 hours. Didn't get to see SuJu-M as I hoped, but I bought some cute souvenirs :'D I also saw some nude magazines in one of the shops... creepy.
From Hong Kong to Los Angeles, it was 13 hours. I kept taking pictures of the sky by the way 'cause the clouds were so beautiful. There were turbulence in both flights and I freaked out duh but after a while I got used to everything and felt safe (Y) I slept for 8 hours HURRAY. The only movie I watched was Finding Neverland, it was nice I guess. Then I watched Hannah Montana and Cory in the House LOLZ

Los Angeles
I posted pictures in FB if you haven't seen ;D

We weren't supposed to take long in the airport but since Dad had to do this interview we spent like 4 hours or something in that place. It was right there that I discovered that Americans are friendly. Whilst loitering about, HUNDREDS of people kept coming in and I watched them, looking for Muslims [there was a lot] and cute guys [there was a lot too and I think from France].
It was err, evening but we had to go rent a car. Again I discovered that skies here are pretty. When we reached the internet-less hotel it was 7 I think but the sky was still bright - I wasn't surprised though 'cause I knew Maghrib here is at 8...
The next day we went to Hollywood! I couldn't recall any memories even though I've been there before -__-; After much walking around, taking pictures, observing stars on the Walk of Fame and browsing souvenir shops I realised the place isn't all THAT wow and great. It seemed normal to me [except there were people in Spiderman, Bugs Bunny and robot costumes, that doesn't count]. Sadly we had to drive to Las Vegas today so no more venturing the place, I was so hoping to going to Universal Studios/Disneyland -__-

Las Vegas
Again, there's lots of pics in FB

We reached this place in the evening, and spent 2 days in the awesome Hilton (Y)

There was Disney Channel so I watched that, but there was also free internet too :D I was so surprised at how much Zack and Cody have grown, their voices are so manly now and Cody is the ganteng-est Western/17yr old boy I've ever seen /melts. By the way, toilets here do not have handheld bidets [you know, the semprot2 thing] and that's REALLY INCONVENIENT. It makes me unbothered to go to the bathroom! D:
At night me and my family walked around Las Vegas for 3 hours. I srsly thought the place wasted too much electricity and resources to build 29329032 casinos. After 2 hours of walking I finally noticed that nearly every single pavement had porn flyers. People give them out. It was disgusting to see. I mean, don't they think about kids? And the thing is, people throw them away... so it wastes paper. Ugh, it was so disturbing. But other than that I had fun taking pictures (Y) I stayed up 'til Subuh fangirling yay~

I woke up at 2pm the following afternoon and immediately went out again after praying. We went to this mall that looks EXACTLY LIKE VILLAGGIO and I swear I wanted to cry ;__; There wasn't much to do there but it was a good place to take photos. We rode on monorails btw (Y) In one of the rides I saw an Asian man reading a porn magazine... he immediately hid the cover but I still found out anyway, haha, I have good eyes.

OK I ain't bothered to describe what happens next, go see pictures

Colorado
Just go to FB...

I forgot to say that each time we drive to a new destination there's always spectacular views of mountains. I also forgot to say that me and Ocha has been experiencing EXTREME insomnia. I never sleep before 11pm, NEVER. It's always at around 1am and I hate it.
Well anyway on the 7th of August I reached Denver, the capital city of the state. Our hotel is nice [specially the pillows and bed] but where my laptop is positioned decreases privacy.
Did I tell you that since we've arrived in this country my parents have been 10000000% increasingly ANNOYING? They keep telling me to sleep early, they force me to do minor, trivial, un-needing-to-be-forced stuff and SO MANY OTHER THINGS. And the thing is they irritate me every fakin day. This isn't how I wanna spend the last weeks with my parents, but they're not giving me a choice! They just make me so mad a lot.

Ignoring that, on the 8th we went to my college, just driving around the area of Golden. Since my campus exploration is something important, I think filling paragraphs concerning my thoughts about the place should be necessary.

First three impressions;
1. It wasn't how I thought it would look like. Google Earth tricked myeyes. It was a whole lot SMALLER [I mean the college]
2. It only takes at least 10 minutes to drive from the college to Denver o__O; The town, Golden, is like... so cowboy western style. Pretty cute
3. The neighborhoods and surrounding areas are SO GREEN and MOUNTAINY I'd consider riding a bike everyday :'D

OK now for more detail. No.1, the campus had less grassy fields than what I expected. I thought there would be more buildings too, but there wasn't - I was disappointed about that, and the size of course. The college is very close to people's houses, infact they're just across the street. No.2, the town reminded me of old Wild West places, like this. However it is cute, except I don't think I'll be visiting the streets so often 'cause there aren't any interesting shops or places to see [well maybe restaurants...]. The thing I like the most about my future place-of-living [I refuse to call it home, OK] is No.3 - all the nature /heart. Come on, you don't get grassy areas, hundreds of trees and mountains in the distance as a view everyday in Doha, right? Plus the air is so fresh. Well anyway, I seriously don't know how life there will be like. I still believe I'll go to the city a lot more =P
When looking around was done we went to a mall, where there was a bookstore that sold MANGA. Since I saw that, I've been checking out the manga section in every single bookstore I visit in Colorado. I'm planning to use the money I'll ask from my parents to buy hundreds of volumes *evil laugh*. We bought lots of shoes. At night Fajar greeted me in FB with an 'oi' when I was in the BATHROOM. I really didn't expect that. When I saw the chat I wanted to punch my stomach for aching right at that moment, and Fajar for greeting me with that hideous 2-lettered word.
On the 9th of August we went to downtown Denver (Y) Again I thought the city would be bigger but it wasn't - there's hardly any cars on the road, there's actually more people walking O: I kinda like it like that though. Less traffic. We went to this long street that turned out to be filled with shops, basically an outdoor mall, but I didn't buy anything. Shopkeepers and restaurant staff are REALLY REALLY NICE here, I swear. There was lots of grass. By the way we saw an amusement park and it looked way beyond cool, as I gaped at the creepy rides I kept wishing I could go there with you guys, cries. Back in the hotel it started raining but after checking again it turned out to be HAIL! T'was nice :'D

10th August, visited my college again. I quote my twit, I have so many things in my mind I wanna tell someone but i think only my blog is ever available.
Again, damn, the staff there are too nice. Specially the dorm lady - she kept SMILING. In the Administration office dad talked to the lady with his seriously-needs-to-be-improved English whilst I kept gazing at all the souvenirs she got from students. I was attracted to this photo of Malaysian students. There were A LOT. She gave me the Orientation schedule which has like 4 sessions, each around 30 mins long, of meeting fellow students [there's a session especially for Muslim students and I was relieved]. There's even gunna be a BBQ that lasts 1.5hrs or something. When I saw those parts I swear I felt like ditching the orientation. You guys know how I hate meeting new people right? Well since I'm living a new life I have no other choice, but to do it FORCEFULLY/ON PURPOSE/WITH SCHEDULE like that is WAY TOO INTIMIDATING. What if I don't know what to say? What if no-one approaches me? IT WORRIES ME SO MUCH TT___TT That's why I really wanted someone to talk to about this, but there's no-one....... it makes me sad.
We finally visited my dorm. When the friendly lady opened the door, I was really surprised. It was nothing like how I imagined it - duh, what you imagine never comes true. I thought there would be a TV and a kitchen. But there wasn't. I thought the common room would be big. But it was as small as the kitchen in the compound. She opened my single bedroom and I thought it would be bigger. But it was 3/5 the size of a Sekompond bedroom, I MEAN IT. I wondered how the planned-to-be-bought mini-fridge, microwave and bookrack would fit there. I thought since I'll be living without a mother for 4 years, I could learn to COOK, but circumstances aren't allowing me. The flippin' kitchen is downstairs, and I'm on the 4th floor! Siiiiiiiigh. My hopes were really shattered. But on the positive side since I have my own room it's easier to pray and I have more privacy. Plus the bed seems nice. And I'm thinking of decorating a lot. How depressing is my life, really?

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (PBUH) as saying: The world is a prison-house for a believer and Paradise for a non-believer.

I think the above hadith applies to me... OK so when I'm in the hotel all I usually do is Facebook [Nisa's often around so it makes me feel a lot less lonely, our wallposts and messages amuse me, thanks Nisaaaaa :D], fangirl, discover music and DEFINITELY watch TV [basically Disney Channel, I know the shows are aimed at kids but I like them OK [specially since there's cute guys] D:]. I've grown to liking Sonny With a Chance and after some episodes, Chad Dylan Cooper real life name Sterling Knight. He is sooooooo cute and I love his character in the show :'D I support Chad x Sonny 'cause their relationship is like in manga (Y) Me and Ocha also tend to lol every single time Mackenzie Falls is mentioned/appears 'cause it's just just a funny name OK. I'm gunna be so deprived of TV when I move into the dorm ;__;

Left: Chad, I couldn't be bothered to find a better pic lol
Right: Cody /heart

I just realised their hairstyles are similar... But they both rock it well (Y)
Oh yes here's my new number; 7205611305, you have to add a +1 if you wanna sms or call OK ;) [as far as I remember lolz]
On the 13th of August we went on a road trip around Colorado! I listened to music the entire ride [and slept], I fell in love with Back-On's - Flower, it's a Japanese song but it's REALLY beautiful especially the lyrics. Here are my favourite segments:

[I] cannot honestly say “Thank you”…
[I] hate this part of myself.
It was only one word, but it could not come out of my mouth.
[I] am finding the exit inside my chest.

[I] cannot honestly say “Thank you”
The truth is I love you
No matter how much time passes
It will continue to bloom without change
Forever in this place, Flower.

AAAAAAAAA and when I listen to the song it makes me wanna cryy ;______;
Back to the road trip, we stopped by this Great Sand Dunes National Park for an hour or so, we didn't get to climb up 'cause it was too far. It was weird seeing dunes in a mountainy snowy place like Colorado o___O; But it reminded me of home T~T

The sky was continuously grey and cloudy [same thing?] but I liked that.

We stayed for a night in a random foresty town called Durango, it was a tourist destination but all I saw were rivers and lots of trees... There was this supermarket called Walgreens/Wallgreens and me and Ocha made the opposite - Floorreds, then we saw Subway and I was like 'what's the opposite of sub?' and she said 'raw' and I laughed so hard 'til I cried. I wonder if you guys get it. The next day we went to the Royal Gorge Bridge, I remember visiting that place but back then I wasn't scared of heights so now I kept wailing not wanting to cross but I did anyway with great fear especially when the bridge kept shaking. I reached the other end successfully anyway! :D The way back wasn't as creepy (Y) After riding the inclined train thingy, carousel [me not included] and mini train, we stayed for a night in a random town Idk the name of. I ate KFC (Y) fyi it's not as good as the one in Qatar and Indonesia ;__:
I got back to Denver yesterday and happily played my laptop and watched TV. Today I shopped for towels and bed items, freaking out intensely 'cause it's only 5 more days 'til I move in Weaver Towers [the name of my dorm]. I'm really scared and 1% excited. Oh and sorry this entry's longer than I intended to make it, hey it's 2 weeks' worth, you can't blame me [who reads this anyway?].

One Year Later

2009-08-02T16:22:00.004+03:00

Well there was the family gathering that lasted from 11:30am 'til 3:00pm I believe, I tried my best to stay away from everyone by taking photos outside with Ocha and it pretty much worked so yeah.

Apparently CC was to visit the household so when the bell rang at 4 I happily walked outside to find those two trying to position their heads above the front gate - believe me it was SUCH a hilarious sight to see and I kept laughing. There was a sound coming from inside and Carisa went 'THERE'S A DOG?' and I replied 'NO THAT'S MY DAD SNEEZING' and again we exploded. It was the funniest thing ever. Obviously a meeting with the space sisters contains tons of laughter (Y)
We went in the room and they showed us pics from Singapore and stuff, also talked about BPP. At one point I showed CC a picture with Fajar in it and suddenly the satellite [Cania's supposed name] exclaimed 'Fajar is sexy' with that dumb tone of hers and we all went BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAA CANIAA and she was like NO I'M JOKING but we obviously knew that [nevertheless after desperate attempts I managed to twit the phrase].
From then on we did random things but out of the blue I had the idea for CC to try these bots in Facebook; FriendBot, GayBot, HotBot, etc. and it was the best idea I ever came up with because we HAD THE FUNNIEST AND FUNNEST TIME EVER. The phrase L WHAT NO EWAY was born due to excess typo, Cania got Ariq as no.1 crush, best friend AND husband and was ~*Destined*~ to have Fajar first in her HotBot results [I vigorously kept Cania away from the keyboard as Carisa typed her infamous statement]. Seriously, we had a blast. The laughter was Ron Stoppable [unstoppable].

Sadly after Maghrib CC had to go home T___T so we quickly did a re-do of an old photo courtesy mom's bad photography. I posted this one 'cause in the others I look bad D;

Wow, it's been 7 years.

Well after that me and Cania had planned to call Hamzah to ask him for the pronunciation of CHIVALRY so we did, even though the reason was stupid. Whatever, we got to hear each other's voices for the last time in the same continent (: I also spontaneously asked to talk to Umar. All I did was say Hi and then Bye [forgot the things inbetween but the conversation was so short]; Matar told me to speak more but I had no clue what else to talk about 'cause it's not like he WANTED to. Buuuuuuuuut, it was extremely nice to hear the Umar voice again, hehe~
It was finally time to part, I'm glad it was a proper one. Honestly after I hugged those awesome best friends of mine and said bye and stuff I wanted to cry but I stopped the watering in my eyes by smiling and waving. Back upstairs I watched Full House before packing up laptop-san and sleeping.

It's All a Fantasy

2009-08-01T18:22:00.004+03:00

I KNEW THIS ENTRY WOULD BE FREAKIN LONG.

you can't tell what their relationship is

FANTASY WORLD, AKA DUNIA FANTASI, AKA DUFAN LIVES UP TO ITS NAME.

I will now tell you all a tale of somewhat sorrow, merriness and fantasy. To cut introduction short, I who previously thought going to Dufan was cancelled discovered from MD that we were actually going but we had to wait for dad to pick up her car from the bengkel which literally took hours. I was playing it cool by saying 'I don't mind going to Dufan, as long as there's a ride I want to' but inside I was like IF WE DON'T GO I'M GOING TO REGRET IT, I HAVE TO SEE FAJAR yada2. In the car we listened to SuJu's 3rd album (Y)

We were late. As we entered the tickets booth a thought suddenly struck me. WTH SHOULD I SAY? HOW SHOULD I GREET HIM? and other typical worry-wart Bs stuff. My heart started racing LIKE MAD like never before, I swear. It was gunna explode. I was so. fakin. nervous. I kept twitting in caps lock about how panicky, nervous and worried I was, that I felt like dying or better yet, GOING HOME. I seriously didn't want to be there anymore. But I couldn't turn back. So I kept smsing Hamzah my rants lolz. Felt good, 'cause he's my comfort zone person thing.
We finally walked inside, I could still feel the thunderous thumping [oo alliteration] in my chest. Me and Fajar haven't had a proper conversation since the 13th of April. So basically it's been 3.5 months. Of course it's natural for me to be nervous, right? Right. But when me and my sisters found them after a hideously long walk, the anxiety suddenly disappeared and I smiled and waved at him. He smiled back. Then we all started walking off and I grabbed his shoulder and hissed, 'Don't ignore me' 'cause all the way through the car ride I had a hunch he will.
WHICH HE SO FLIPPIN' DID. OMG right after I said that to him he walked off and simply GLUED to the other guys and kept a minimum 5 metre distance from me so I ended up talking to Iwan and then Izza who I immediately felt comfortable with even if it's been 2 years. My thoughts were swimming: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU IGNORING ME MAN?; YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SMSED ME TO 'buru ksini' AND AND I KNOW YOU WANTED ME TO COME TODAY, SO WHY AM I BEING PEANUT-ED [dikacangin]??!! Stupid sms of liesss, LIES. He was so far away, I'm serious ;____;
Even when we were lining up for McDonald's. All of us 'cept Yayan and Fajar were lining up to order. I kept twitting and smsing EVEN TO UMAR TO ASK FOR ADVICE [which when I got home he replied to in twit 'cause he prolly didn't have credit, he told me to just have fun, gah why is he so nice]. When Fajar came in the restaurant Jangan Menyerah started playing and I was like fak this song; he only went in to talk to Afif and Iwan BLEEEEEH [by the way all I did as we lined up besides fiddling with my phone was converse with Yusmawan]. In the end I decided not to worry about that brat anymore, if he doesn't wanna talk to me then FINE trserah. I couldn't be bothered to waste my time again. Being the dreamer person I am, I started imagining what would happen if Hamzah was there, which was that I'd be in my most comfortable state ever talking to him /heart
We sat on the freakin' floor to eat. There were 6 chicken nuggets and medium fries for me but I couldn't finish the latter, sorry, was too full in the stomach and of leftover angst to consume any more. By the way Hiyal was supposed to come but she had lessons or whatever so she didn't. I don't know if my eyes were fooling me but once when I turned to my right which was where Fajar was sitting, he happened to be looking back, so basically our eyes met, but then I faced down immediately to continue eating and pondered if what just happened was what I thought it was.
After we all finished eating, people scurried off to do stuff Idk what. Since I was already done I had to wait but I didn't really know what to do until I heard that we were gunna play that alien shooting game thingy which was exactly the game I've been thinking about to compete with Fajar with. So...... I panicked again. I've been thinking of calling Hamzah since I arrived in that place but I knew he wouldn't care or say anything towards my problem so I thought of Arya who is like THE BEST GUY AND PERSON TO CURHAT WITH EVER especially of Fajar matters 'cause he's read all my jeremiads about him. That's when it hit me, I searched for Man has an Usia in my phone contacts and WOH HIS INDO NUMBER WAS FREAKIN THERE so I pressed call and ring ring......... HE FREAKIN PICKED UP!!!!!!! I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT NUMBER WAS STILL ALIVE!
Hearing his voice was so comforting/lega however you describe it. I started blabbing to him the entire story with major focus on my current problem. When I talk on the phone I tend to walk around a lot so that's what I did, for 12 minutes lol. The only advice Arya gave me was to just talk to Fajar before I totally regret everything later, which was the best thing to do really. Telling someone your worries really helps ;__; I wanted to keep the conversation going but suddenly the line went off and I realised my pulsa went from RP5000 or something to RP 2... Great.
Well anyway the girls came back and they were deliberating whether to really play the shooting game or not and that wasted time so after begging me and Izza just scurried off to line up. I was afraid nobody would join especially the idiot but when I turned around to check I found him following us by himself but he went back, to bring the others. Iwan didn't join us 'cause he wanted to keep Tante Siwi company awww, nice son (Y) Izza actually hates Super Junior but she likes Sorry Sorry so we listened to it from my iPod :'D The waiting took like 10 minutes or more and all we did was talk and take pictures. Fajar was of course paying attention to Afif who has better hair now.
OK, since I really DIDN'T wanna regret today, when we finally went inside the blue-lit building I grabbed Fajar's hoodie with no sweat and said something like 'Hey why are you ignoring me, I told you not to, emank enak ya cuekin Bs?' and then he replied 'Emank kenapa kalo dicuekin, ngga kiamat juga kan?' and my brain was thinking WELL IT ISN'T BUT IT SURE DOES FEEL THAT WAY, but before adding an evil comeback I think he said 'Lagian kamu cuekin aku/Fajar/gue juga' and then inside I went Wow Arya was right... Imagine if I didn't start, we would've ignored each other all day o___O; Even so, 'til now, I still don't know why he hasn't started first.
So finally I was talking to my long-lost best friend again after nearly 4 months. We had silences. It was never usually that way when we're together, 'cause those were comfortable, normal kinda silences. This one was a bit different. But I guess we did say a lot to each other. I was surprised when he suddenly asked 'Tadi nelfon siapa' and after I said 'Arya' he put on a teasing face and said 'Oh dikirain Umar' and I was like 'Hah no way'; OK that was random,and impossible, Umar?
I remembered from 2 years ago that Fajar was scared of roller coasters so I inquired about it to him and he said he was fine with them now so I planned to drag him to ride it later. I also remember that Fajar wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel and I was thinking 'WTF why would you wanna ride THAT?'. Since the line was long the things we said were of all sorts and I don't remember much but Izza joined us 2 when I was showing off the fact that I have a driver's license and she doesn't *evil laugh*. I do remember that I didn't let him see my SIM when Izza was speculating it and he thought 'oh, ga pake krudung ya'. When Izza was asking about Fajar's age he said 14 and I said 12, she didn't know who to believe so she was confirming really, 12? and I was like iyaaa 12; I expected Fajar to complain to me but he just said 'iya deh, [12]'.
102991020 hours later we got on the ride! I was sitting next to Fajar as I wished and we all started realising how boring and lame the game was after 3 minutes of shooting red dots, which coincidentally he and I kept aiming at the same one so my score was SO FREAKING LOW. I was also finally able to see his dorky side again when he took Afif's gun and his and started shooting everywhere xD Before getting off I asked for everybody's score and they did way better than me, even after Fajar saw it he laughed, so much for competition >.>
Outside, people went off to sholat and I discovered that ahoushi was flippin goin' home soon and I tried to persuade him to stay longer but he just snapped and said 'OMG, I can't OK' and stated his reasons. Really there was nothing we could do -x- I started to panic again and pleaded Icha for some credit, RP2000, so I could call Arya. After some minutes I hung up and decided to call Hamzah, it was soooooooooo nice hearing his voice again ;__; I wasn't even done with the call when it got shut off, I checked my pulsa again and it was RP 56 or something UGHH. Well anyway when I was done with my phone the people were going to some photo booth and I was like huh why are we taking a picture there? but I joined anyway.
Then it was off to Halilintar! Sadly the Sudarsana family had to wait for the photo to develop so we left them and Ocha and Hira there. I sat next to MD and freakin' rekamed the ride lolz and for once I opened my eyes throughout 8D We then had Ocha and Hira issues 'cause we couldn't find them at the previous area so basically they were missing - the Sudarsanas were too. Icha then found out that Tante Siwi and Iwan were riding the roller coaster also. When I asked about Fajar she said 'Lha kan Fajar takut' and I was like '... I thought he wasn't scared anymore...' and came to my own conclusion that he told me he wasn't so he'd appear more mature.
I was scared that those 3 would go home suddenly and therefore no proper goodbye, so when me and MD searched for the kids whilst Icha and co. went off to line up for Kora Kora and she called saying Fajar was already with them, I was relieved [wow that sentence was troublesome to type up]. After Ocha and Hira were found we took 'em to the ride, the others were already deep in the line, Fajar saw me and I must admit I like it when he looks at me, hahahaha. OK fine I like it when anyone looks at me in a err, amidst the crowd way [experienced it plenty of times with Hamzah and we reply with a Wth are you looking at? expression]. He said 'where's everyone else [or something like that], Bs?' and to myself I thought omg he said my name, it's been ages...... D':
The ride was scarier than I thought so I screamed :'D I was busy recording Izza and sometimes the others too, and I don't know again if my eyes were tricking me but at one time me and Fajar were looking at each other and he smiled at me in a warm way but according to my videos it wasn't recorded so it could just be my bad memory. But I'm sure I saw it. When we got off apparently Icha had been clutching Fajar's shoulders in fear even though he himself [I witnessed it] was closing his eyes but pretended not to be scared. In the ride his eyes were so red I swear xD
Well we then ventured to Niagara-gara. The girls were absorbed in conversation and I simply walked alone with Fajar behind me, silently wishing he would come up to me and talk. He got a phone call. When I turned around he was gone. We waited for his return but he appeared with Tante Siwi and Iwan too so I was guessing it's home time. It was only 6pm but he was meant to be gone by 3-ish so you don't know how thankful to God I was for the time extension. He got along well with Izza so he was joking around with her as Iwan presented me a plastic bag and in natural shock I said 'HEH THIS IS FOR ME? Thank you~' and they told me to look inside and I found a ceramic rectangle with that photo of us we took earlier! Apparently it was Tante Siwi's idea I think so I thanked her to bits. It was such a nice and unexpected gift ;__;
After FajWanZza had a picture together I took out Hamzah's badges which I'm really sad I couldn't present them to him myself then told Fajar 'Hey give this to Hamzah OK, jangan sampe ketinggalan!' and he looked at me and said 'Hadiahnya Fajar/aku gimana?' so that's when I finally presented him the gift I've been preparing for him for like ages. He stared at the plastic wrapping which had an Animonster Posterbook sticker on it with one eyebrow raised and I simply ranted 'Hahah sorry I didn't have time to wrap it properly, by the way DON'T open it 'til you get home and DON'T open it in front of other people, OK, and oh yeah it's not finished sorry and it's memalukan to give it to you but yeah' bla3. I think he grinned and said thanks and started walking towards the exit with his family. His mother was speaking to him and the boy pointed at the present and then at me o___O; They were going the wrong way so I said that. I also said bye to that idiot and honestly don't remember at all how he replied. MD was like 'did you guys hug?' and I wanted to have been drinking something so I could spit it on her face, but I just spluttered in disbelief and said 'WTH NO AS IF'. The rest of us continued to Niagara-gara and I turned around to look at him for the last time, but I only saw his back walking away, a view I've countlessly seen millions of times when we used to fight.
Even though we were 2 people short we still acted dumb and had fun anyway. I forgot to mention that the real Steve was there and you don't know how badly I tried to hold in my laughter 'cause I remembered Nisa and thought of how funny it would be if she was there with us, so we could BOTH lol together. Niagara-gara had such a long line so we went in the mirror house and then rode the dumb Istana Boneka thingy in which Yayan and Izza kept walking on the stage lolz. Oh yeah and Icha kept telling Afif to take photos, seriously I don't know HOW he obeyed her orders every single time but that makes him a nice, obedient brother/guy. After that ride we went on the mini coaster which was SO MUCH FUN because it zoomed 3x faster than before, but my hips hurt. Then stupidly enough we rode the CAROUSEL which I've been neglecting since the age of 8 or something.
When that was over with we wanted to ride the Ferris Wheel 'cause there was gunna be a fireworks show but the line was too long [I bet couples raided it] so we bought Hop Hop. However as soon as we finished ordering we heard explosions! so me, Izza and Afif left our siblings to pick up the drinks and ran off to find a good spot to view works of fire. Afif was taking pictures of Izza by force whilst I took only 2 and suddenly stopped when I took a good look at how pretty and romantic? everything was - the colourful fireworks blasting against the black sky and its reflection glimmering on the lake in front of me, and how empty the dark place we were standing in was. After taking in all of that, I thought of only one person I wished was there with me.
Well since Izza's driver was mad at her 'cause he had to wait for so long, we went home at 7:30-ish. My legs were dying but I had loads of energy to sing along to SuJu in the car ;D Back at home though I lazily lied in bed laptoping only to have my parents suddenly barging in telling me to sort out my luggage and I got extremely pissed off. My back was gunna break! To make it worse, my laptop fell again... Before I went to bed I blogged.

So that was my day at Dufan. It wasn't what my mind has been thinking about but I'm just really really thankful to spend like 4+ hours with Fajar again. I wanted to, you know, have a somehow personal conversation together, as in talking about our summer and other issues I won't display in public, but we never had one, which pretty much ruins 1/4 of a section of my Dream Dufan Day. I've always daydreamed about it since the start of summer and sincerely inserted no exaggeration at all. But well, that's my life.

Carisa, Cania, Umar, Hamzah, you guys could've been in that picture ;__;
p.s. all of the above was 3019 words, if you managed to read the entire thing then thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks

Please Message Syania

2009-07-31T19:22:00.002+03:00

Wednesday 29th July 2009

After I woke up I immediately watched Unbelieveable Outing. So I stayed in bed all day literally. My Eeteuk hate has been maturing even more since then. It's such a hilarious show, really - the guy wanted to say mother effer but said mother father instead XDXDXD and instead of son of a biatch, he said sunglasses beach LOLOLOL. And once when they had an episode in the English village they translated Sungmin's name into SEX PEOPLE because Min can also mean sex HAAHAHAHA. I kept laughing. Here's another killer:

"Get out."
'Be a little nicer'
"Please, please get out."
'Okay we'll use fluent English'
"Sayonara baby"

Whilst watching me and Nisa chatted about pacarans which we dislike the intimacy of. I honestly want a boyfriend myself 'cause I know I won't do creepy things lolz but don't worry I'll never get one anyway. Besides it's nearly 4 months since I've liked him KHEIHEKHEIHIE. At night me and my sisters watched Explorers of the Human Body (:

Thursday 30th July 2009
My dream was freakin' weird but I liked it. I returned to my old school but it wasn't QIS at all. It was grey and shiny and pro-looking-er =P However Hamzah was there. Infact, the dream was about me and him taking photos together in the school. Makes me think about photography club .__. I had a new camera which was smaller than Steve [my DSLR] o___O; Sadly after I went to fetch it and met up with him again the dream switched to something about Sungmin's shoes and how Donghae and Shindong are mirip 'cause their name has DONG in them, right. Oh yeah in the school I bumped into Dinda who Hamzah said joins modelling club and he was the photographer........ *stares*
Today I went to Plaza Senayan with mother and Ocha. It wasn't as boring as I thought it would be, there was an art exhibition and me and my little sister had fun making fun of some of the works 'cause they looked noobish. Then we went in Metro [they had Sum41 music on lolz] where I browsed through many pretty clothes which I really wish I could wear but with a body like mine it's impossible. After a long while we finally went to Senayan City to eat lunch with dad and bla3. I forgot what I did at home =\

Friday 31st July 2009
I became graphical and made an icon and signature for SJ-World :'D

OK so today was the day of confirmation if people could go to Dufan or not, right. I haven't blogged about it yet but ever since Hamzah smsed me with that bad news on Monday 27th July, I've become emo [not like I haven't been this entire summer; I mean I hardly go emo 'cause of that guy anymore you see]. And like, yesterday.. or maybe since that day, I honestly wanted him to apologise. Then today at 3pm I checked my e-mail and saw one from him. It was... well it did make me feel better but I cried and I REALLY don't know why OK. I just did. Sometimes my emotions don't make sense...
At night me and my family and relatives went out to eat at a fish restaurant which took 1 hour to drive to. I saw a rat in the err, got thingy and it was cute. I kept checking my HP for any new smses or twits, sigh. When I got home Iwan called begging me and MD to go to Dufan 'cause the numbers were lacking but I thought we shouldn't. Besides, my mom really disapproved of the idea. I thought to myself that the day I've always dreamt of won't ever come true. Before I went to bed which was at 2AM, I SuJu fangirled and stuff. I discovered some fanboys who have bad taste.

Segernya nol

2009-07-28T18:29:00.001+03:00

Sunday 26th July 2009

I had suuuuuuuuch weird dreams. The 1st one was that me and Fajar were sending letters to each other. He invited me over to his house in Bekasi on the 2nd of August. The 2nd one was so weird, therefore hard to explain - but it involved us being friends with Western people and me getting mad our friendships were getting worse because of them LOLZ. There was also Yesung and his girlfriend... and a huge but cute spider which Hamzah fought with xD I took a cold but refreshing shower. Disadvantage of village life no.3 - no warm shower water. Later on it was off to granny's where I saw my Year 8 cousin Dian's Naruto figurines collection - he had like 50 or something all neatly put on racks. I just sat down and drew my character I call Kuro. It took FOREVER to draw his hair. My 5/6/Idk year old cousin was watching me and asked 'ko d hapus mulu mbak?'. It's 'cause drawing is shit hard T~T After a while I went back to grandpa's. We decided to turn on the TV and when Yugioh appeared I laughed like a hyena, seriously, 'cause his hair was RIDICULOUS. I never noticed until that moment. Basically all the characters are ugly. I made fun of all of them 'til I cried from laughter. Here is Ocha's commentary on Yugioh: 'they don't do anything they just throw cards'. When the LOLfest was over I observed Conan which was good until he explained the crime - I didn't understand a single word. At 3-ish my cousin's son was having a 6th birthday party so we went there but all I did was sit and draw 'cause I had no other business. I felt lonely and again wanted Fajar to call. I've been smsing him but he never replies .__. Well anyway at 5 dad took me and Ocha on a motorcycle ride around the village which totally refreshed my body and soul [lebay]. At that moment I wished I could drive a motor like hell. The mountain and sky views were so beautiful T__T I didn't bring Steve [my DSLR] sadly - my parents kept telling me 'fotografer tuh sharusny bawa kmera kmn-mn', meh. I got my thing at night. Bad timing. Since I had nothing to do I lied down in bed and started smsing people. MD told me Icha invited us to Dufan so yeah. Fajar finally replied but there was something weird about how he typed. I forgot what we smsed about but I got really mad and didn't wanna care about him anymore [which won't happen, blame that kinda thinking on the period]. I slept in emptiness, sigh.

Monday 27th July 2009

All I did today was eat soto and finish drawing Kuro. And go really depressed at the news Matar gave me which was that she can only go to Dufan on Sunday. Whereas Fajar can only go on Saturday. I was so torn. I wanted to meet Fajar to death but again for the 392808902nd time I'm unsure if he still cares about me or not so choosing him might not be a good idea. But I still wanted to see him. On the other hand, Dufan won't be as fun without my favourite pair of sisters. Ahh, at that point in the day I felt like curling up and dying. Then I suddenly felt better [stupid period] according to Twitter but after observing my old smses from the 27th I don't know why. In the evening I learned how to drive a motor but I became too chicken to try by myself right after I got the knowledge. Surprisingly me and Umar actually had a round of smsage today. He typed a lot. Real lot. It makes me wanna keep the smses somehow but sadly in the US I'll be using a different phone. Another sadly, he ran out of credit to continue. With nothing else to do I decided to go to bed at 7. My 8 year old cousin was having fun with a nyamuk zapper and it was funny. When she was done with that she gave me an English quiz LOL. I couldn't sleep so when Fajar smsed me saying to watch Opera Van Java I turned on the TV. It wasn't on so I ended up watching Fight Club, only I didn't finish 'cause I was so sleepy. The movie's really good (Y) However I got an sms from Hamzah with bad news. So my night ended in anger and frustration.

Tuesday 28th July 2009
I woke up at 10AM and stayed in bed watching TV, thinking of how idiotic it is to have a commercial promoting water. Me and Ocha found a gameshow in TPI called Grand Prix Del Verano and decided to watch it 'cause there were people in penguin costumes. And then carrying large ice creams. And other hilarious stuff. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST GAME SHOW I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. I laughed and laughed and laaaaaaaughed, so hard, so much, so long. I haven't laughed like that since God knows when. You guys should seriously watch it, they have the show on YouTube lolz. There's also an iklan that goes 'Segernya pol!' - we laugh at that too. At one point, when I was drinking water, I stared at the dinner table, only to find 2 flies doing it. I simply watched them on top of each other and was like ...this is interesting... Thank God it wasn't graphic. On TV I saw this ad about a football competition on the 1st & 2nd of August which the latter is exactly the date Fajar has his and I was stupid enough to sms him asking if the competition he's attending is the one on TV. The conversation didn't end well. At 2:30pm we headed off to the airport which is shiny but small. Inside the plane me and Ocha had a funny Super Junior karaoke and dance session which had to end when my ears started getting pressurised which REALLY HURTED. Back at the ungreen civilisation that is Jakarta I utilised laptop-san [it's been 3 days] and immediately watched Happy Shares Company version Eunhyuk. Then Unbelieveable Outing, one of the top funniest programs SuJu appeared in (Y) I slept at 3am but I forgot what I was doing.

Why do you still use that name

p.s. somewhere in these village nights I cried a lot because of one person. I'm just reminding myself

SIMsimTaPain

2009-07-28T17:34:00.002+03:00

Thursday 23rd July 2009 - I get my SIM

I woke up at 5 to go do my driving test. I've NEVER seen Jakarta that early in the day. It was nice. I had a dream that we were somewhere and I passed Fajar who wasn't talking to me and he suddenly blurted 'Ah I can't stand it anymore' and greeted me. Then I said 'I wish I could hug you but I can't' [WHICH I DON'T THINK ABOUT IRL OK] and in an instant he hugged me real tight haaaaaahahahaha... When people started walking towards us he let go really fast so I fell down -__-; and that was all I remember. Anyway my Uncle and mom dropped me off. The jemput person was supposed to come at 6 but he was late for more than 30 minutes so I just stood outside... FML... the car trip took an hour so I slept. There was an adorable toddler sitting in front of me but his mom was like... gaul o___O; she calls her kid with LU and instead of saying 'mama' she says 'gue'.. weird. Inside the SIM-dealing place I did my theory test which had answers on the 1st page, right. I hardly knew how to answer nor understand the stuff. Anyway since I was the 2nd last to leave the room I had no idea where to go so I went back outside only to find the others weren't there [we were a rombongan]. Panickingly I rushed inside again to search for my people and thankfully found them heading over to the PRACTICAL TEST. I was like oh God no I don't wanna do this, 'cause people watch you. After the dude explained traffic laws bla3 [he was funny] it was off to the test. However weirdly enough all we did was get in the car, have 1 person drive 50m forwards and in reverse for us and THAT WAS IT. Didn't even take 5 minutes! 0.0; Then the dude said we're gunna get our pictures taken o___O; After that was done I went to the waiting room, and after 10 minutes they called my name and I GOT MY SIM. JUST LIKE THAT. But I was soooooooo tired T__T [and I look drunk in my photo] I slept on the way back. T'was 12:30pm, so basically I spent 6.5hrs doing the entire SIM obtaining process. I really wanted to go home. Buuuuut, my mom asks for my grudges towards her 'cause she wanted to spend some time in PGC which was across the road. My entire body was aching 'cause of my sleeping position in the car and I was fakin exhausted. And angry. But I remembered that patience is a virtue so I calmed myself down. Thankfully at 3 I returned 'home'. All I did was sort my videos and later watched Kids' Choice Awards on TV then Goong T which was hilarious. Done.

Friday 24th July 2009

My laptop fell to the floor for the 1st time ever today. The AC Adaptor plug is now bent and I'm scared it'll break. I picked up my dad from the airport at 3:30. The trip took 3 hours no shit. Back in the house I watched Jihwaza feat. Donghae which was SO FUNNY. I kept laughing 'til I cried (Y) Again chatted with Nisa, it was hilarious and crazy, filled with laughing emotes as usual. We discussed of Super Junior's Zhou Mi and Henry =D She gave me interesting links like Blog Gaul and other really unpopular forums. Then I surfed SJ-World and found ARABIC E.L.F.s and discovered that the majority of them live in the UAE and are attracted to HEECHUL LOLZ. I think that's cool. Suddenly I got in a KyuMin frenzy and looked at every page of their thread and even went to LJ communities dedicated to them HAHAHAA~ I was about to read a fanfic but g jdi. Since my attention span is short I moved on to some Donghae sex and switched back to KyuMin after some minutes.

THE LOVE IS OVERFLOWING

Kyuhyun: Once I think of Sungmin hyung, I can't do anything at all.
Kyuhyun: Sungmin can't continue living if he does not have me.
HOW OTP AND AWESOME IS THAT??????????? Sometimes I wish my OTPs get married but I totally don't support gay so... I just like boy x boy friendships to the max (: After excessive fangirling I ZzzZzz-ed at 1:30AM.

Saturday 25th July 2009 - Village Life
I go to Boyolali today. The weather was cloudy, very nice. That's why we had turbulence in the plane - small ones alhamdulillah. Honestly they were fun .__. 'cause right after it was over we reached a clear blue sky so I knew it was alright~ So beautiful~ When we went in the car after reaching at 4pm, the radio had Sorry Sorry on O____O; 99.6FM. I was surprised. The highlight of pulang kampung is to eat soto so that's exactly what we did. At grandpa's place I spent my time outside taking in the breeze and other fresh natureness 'til Maghrib. I also played with sticks and rocks with my cousin's kids who are below 9yrs of age. Ah, the weather there is the best~ Anyway, I was gunna wudhu so I went to the bathroom only to find a HUGE FLYING COCKROACH ON THE DOOR. Disadvantage of village life no.1 - excessive bugs. After someone killed it I decided to go back in there only to find ANOTHER FLYING COCKROACH!! AND THEY'RE BOTH BIG-ASSED, REALLY. I was gunna weep. It was early, 8pm or something, but I felt like sleeping so I tried BUT there was NO KIPAS in the room so I sweated like hell. Disadvantage of village life no.2 - no AC. To make myself fall asleep I listened to iPod-san and it worked. At 10pm-ish I woke up by the sound of my dad bringing a fan into the room; I felt the cool air rush to my skin and it was aaaaaaaaaaaaawesome. I slept like a baby.

Fangirling keeps my mind off of you, now that I'm laptopless it's back to thinking about the usual
Loving someone is hard

Funless

2009-07-22T17:50:00.002+03:00

Saturday 18th July 2009

Stay-in day. Basically read manga... Lots of 'em. Then before bed I designed some characters for a comic I SUPPOSEDLY wanna make. Fajar greeted me in MSN in the morning and thought I was angry; I smsed him I ain't and was still sleeping tdi but nothing else happened for the rest of the day.

Sunday 19th July 2009
2 weeks left 'til I go West. Still waiting for a phone call. Today me and Fajar were supposed to meet at Tante Esti's wedding which I think both of us didn't attend in the end, so we didn't. Instead moi and ma famille went to Melawai where I ate Bakmi GM for lunch and died of boredom due to my mother stopping at 209329023 jewelry, bag and clothes stores [I was intrigued by pearls though]. The roads were empty - creepy but pretty interesting and rare to see. I kept singing Don't Don and seeing Boys Before Flowers everywhere -__-; At home I was angrier at my overheating laptop than usual, read Soul Eater I think and typed 9283 blog entries. Fail day.

Monday 20th July 2009
Before going to ITC Kuningan, me and my sisters loled very hard at SuJu's MV Twins (Knockout). Therefore the entire day I sang excerpts from that song and others - it was so annoying and addicting. I bought 7 mangas which one I read whilst mom and MD spent 9023328 hours looking at fake bags [in the end they bought 2]. We had A&W for lunch and that's when I marvelled at how Onion Rings are onion + tepung di goreng but it still tastes awesome. At home I observed that Fajar was online 'til night but none of us greeted each other, Farah wasn't chatting with him either so she suggested it was prolly Om Agus, which is... logical but unlikely. I felt so so so so lonely and decided to read comics, when I was on the brink of mental breakdown I suddenly watched Super Show I DVD on my laptop [from a download] with my sisters. It lasted approx. 2.5hrs and we had fun and laughed loads. Grease!bum was seen and I kept insulting him throughout (Y) At one point Donghae jerked his jacket opened revealing his bare chest and if my life is a manga [too bad it isn't] I would've nosebleeded like hell 'cause it was sex. There was Kibum fanservice and I was like DO NOT WANT. I kept squealing at Sungmin and Kyuhyun's cuteness and the epic EunHaeness. The concert was from last year and I wish I attended D: I am sooo excited to see Super Show II DVD x) Before going to bed me and MD looked at my SuJu pics folder [consisting of 5k+ pics but we didn't see all duh] which wasn't satisfying so I oughta collect more. Fangirling is happiness~ Temporary.

Tuesday 21st July 2009

I'm typing this on the 2nd of August LOL so I don't have an overall commentary yet. OK so I read mangas which made me angry 'cause they were so typical. But here's an epic quote: 'Pangerannya cukup seorang saja. Karena itu, kamu jadi putrinya ya' OHOHOHO LOVE~ Uhh after that I did boring stuff. I chatted with Nisa crazily, as usual... and watched loads of SuJu videos... I also started loving Super Junior T - Don't Go Away (Y) That's all about my boring Tuesday.

Wednesday 22nd July 2009
Today I went to PIM with Mom and Ocha, who the former is meeting up with an old friend. Little did I know that she brought her daughter [who I found out later is MD's age] along. You should all know I really dislike meeting new people ESPECIALLY if it's only for a short period of time so I just salam her and then ran off with Ocha to sholat Zuhur. And after that I kept twitting from my phone. in. extreme. boredom. Since I was just with OCHA I thought, 'what the fak should I do?' so I simply walked around everywhere. I kept begging God to make Fajar call me 'cause I'm jaim/malu/gengsi to do so first. Such loneliness and boredom could easily be wiped away with just a small talk with him. However when we ate lunch I was pretty amused 'cause Ocha started building this KFC Island with her steak plate and my cola cup which had Colonel Sanders pictures. I has photos but too lazy to transfer x__x; Finally at 3:30pm after seeing every floor and corner of PIM we went home. I kept cursing my life throughout. At night I was SUPPOSEDLY blessed with a sms from Fajar but he was using bhs Sunda or something and did it for iseng purposes. I who was freakishly worried and waiting for his smses/calls for days got pretty angry 'cause of his carefreeness .___. I asked him why he hasn't been contacting me lately and he said he's been busy and I started ranting in my head, I'm your best friend right so why not spare some time for me? Then God knows why he started bringing someone's name up but yeah, that sms session ended bitterly.

If you read all of the above I'm really sorry that you just wasted your time reading about my horrible life

Happily Rotting

2009-07-17T19:19:00.006+03:00

Friday 17th July 2009 - SUPER SHOW II STARTS DD:

Ocha: we are nothing without you
Me: i am somethin without anyone
Cania: you are jam without bread.
Fajar: u r chicken nuggets with out sauce
Ocha: i am toast without blue band
Fajar: i am KFC without the K
Umar: i am a woman without the wo
-everybody explodes laughing-

Umar: y do ppl sell taming items so expensive?? WTS HAPPENIN TO TH WORLD??!! FINANCIAL CRISIS
I TOTALLY LOL-ED

Umar: wt do u wannabe
Me: i wanna be a comic author =\ nice of u t ask
Umar: no
Me: or an animator btw :D
Umar: so i shall ruin ur business
Whatever, I still like it when guys ask me stuff weee

Me: anita sholat anyway
Umar: wths anita???
Me: u dont kno?!
Umar: y wud i want to?

OK enough RO logs. Today was the infamous bombing day which made me kinda scared to go out anywhere but it was also the day I watched Parry Hotter? Happy Rotter? Rappy Hotter? Rettop Yrrah? Hatty Rorrer? Roppy Hatter? Harry Potter, yes, with Dhe3 and CC.
I left the house in emo [well not really 'cause Umar said my real name in Twitter] because... because... 'I wish the phone would ring like before and I pick up to hear a nagging guy wanting to talk cuz it feels 'nice''. However thankfully I got cheered up when I met up with CC in Plaza Senayan. We bought the tickets then transferred ourselves to Food Court-san to eat. I was a pig, ate Ocha's fries and some of her steak and then ordered KFC crispy strips [Cania's influence]. When we were done we watched Carisa play this Princess Dancing game on her new DS, t'was so funny (Y)
Finally at 5:15 or whatever we met up with Dhe3 in the cinema toilet. There was a creepy Suster Ngesot or something poster at the end of the hallway and I really wanted to take a pic with it but didn't lolz. The movie ended at 8, gasp. I thought it was really good. I know, too bad there wasn't a lot of action but it was J.K. Rowling's choice to make it like that and romantic, OK?? Besides I liked those scenes /gg
Afterwards Dhe3 started blabbing to us about her PIM chronicle and I was extremely giddy and how do you put it... fangirly?? IDK. We ate dinner together [me Donner Kebab *c*] as she continued her story and Carisa started her own which was also giddy and fangirl worthy towards the end. Oh how I wish one day I could experience a tale like theirs D; amin. Sadly at 9 we had to part and I hugged those 3 goodbye. Dhe3 twice. SO SAD, AGAIN I SAY I'LL MISS YOU DHE3 -insert heart here-
At home, 10:00pm-ish, I peeked at MSN before praying and saw Fajar freakin online. I was pretty glad but in another way disappointed 'cause that means we won't be phone calling anymore right? Well anyway he started a chat but something about him was different, he seemed quiet and that made me kinda anxious so I blurted out anything in my head. One of them included someone's name, which he got... I don't know... at and started complaining?? But anyway that ruined the chat 100%. He left at 11pm and since I wasn't replying he thought I was mad, but I wasn't. Sigh.

Fajar: y ru keeps following me carisa
Me: LOL matar correct his english plz, its so g enak t read

We're just friends you know.

I REALLY Miss U

2009-07-17T05:26:00.000+03:00

HEHEHEHEHE I BRING YOU ANOTHER freakishly long ENTRY HEHE

Wednesday 15th July 2009

My driving is improving but the teacher suggested I take 5 more lessons which basically means I still suck... whatever. I went to PGC with Mom and Mbak Pit, bought Magic Corn which ended up tasting horrible 'cause the corn was small and unwholy plus the sambal wasn't SAUCE. That business oughta be sued. My mom offered me to eat KFC and lots of other food when we stopped by at Plaza Kalibata but I declined all of 'em 'cause I was in a really, really bad mood. Major angst. Because of my smsage with Hamzah. Will not go into detail, but basically it's to do with Dufan/HP6 plans this Friday and him not being able to attend. From when I reached home 'til dinner, I just lied down in bed having a Soul Eater Marathon, not expecting more but quality time doing my own thing.
At near-Maghrib Icha, Abid, Afif and some friend of theirs came but I only greeted Icha. The presence of the stranger made me hold back from saying hi to the brothers. They and MD soon left to eat out and I was left with Ocha in the room continuing what I was doing [plus getting super upset with the going out plans in Twitter]
...Until my phone rang and I saw 'Tnte Siwi Indo calling' on the screen. At first I couldn't believe my eyes but I picked it up and slowly said
Hello? Hello. Hello. How are you doin'? Bad, you? Bad. What have you been doin'? Looking at girls. ...What? Nothing. Did you say looking at girls? Nevermind, nevermind. Tunggu! Who said tunggu? What? Me. REALLY? [couldn't believe it was him 'cause he sounded extremely manly] My friend's askin' me to play. Y udh, main aj sana. No, I wanna talk to you. It feels nice. HAHAHAHA, you sound like you just got back from the toilet! Gross... Oh yeah, happy birthday! What? You remember? Yes. Yeah right. It's on the 30th. Of? Of June. Of what? Oh. Thanks... why didn't you sms? I told you, I have no number! Well what about FB? I tried! That was in chat, you could've wallposted.. Oh yeaaaaa, wallpost! Anyway I have to go now. I'll call you later. I'll call you later. OK, bye! Bye.
That obviously wasn't the entire convo [the topics we discussed were Iwan, Tnte Esti's wedding, going out plans, bla3] ... I can't memorise that much -__-; We talked for 12:26 minutes. I was the happiest person ever. God gives miracles when we least it expect it, guys. Because of that incident I had to ignore the chat Hamzah was having with me but I was also possible to casually tell him 'forget about it' in sms.
Before going to ZzzZZ I read mangas by Chiba Kozue :'D Her works are all conceptual but SHORT and therefore rushed. Nice and cute stuff anyway (Y)

Thursday 16th July 2009 - Happy 47th Birthday Mom! Sorry I forgot D:

Fajar called me 2x this morning at 9-ish but I didn't pick up 'cause I had to go to driving lesson. I found out the name of that song I liked which was Jangan Menyerah by d'Masiv. 'tis awesome :'D 30 minutes before Zuhur he called again and I picked up.

Hello? Hello~ Sorry Fajar I need to eat, call me later. What? Whyy? I need to eat lunch! BUT I WANNA TALK TO YOU! I'm so lonely! ...Hey you know that song - Jangan Menyerah? Yeah, that one! It's so nice~ Yeah I know I like it too. ... Sorry, I'll sms you when you can call. I hate to sms. I said I'll sms when you can call! OK? OK... Bye.
Within the conversation MD who was listening commented 'Poor Fajar, he wants to talk to you' and I was biasa2 aj 'cause there's still lots of time for us to chatter... But before I knew it, my watch showed 1:40pm and I regret what I did. I wanted to sms him for him to call me but then I thought, well... what if he isn't lonely anymore? what if he doesn't wanna talk on the phone anymore either? I was gengsi/jaim again.So I just told him that I'm busy and did my own things. Boring things...
Suddenly at 5:45 he called and I was all excited when he straightforwardly asked 'Hey can you give me my mom's number?' and that's what the convo was all about really. I was hoping he'd call again later to talk about something proper but he didn't...
Since I was ngambek and remorseful and emo because of my own fault, I looked at RO screenshots which Cania suggested me to do 'til 2AM. And I'm so glad I did 'cause they cheered me up 89% (Y) PREPARE FOR SPAM!

Cute things are stupid, that's why wizards are noobs

-Thinking of a name for Fajar's character-
Fajar: ahh ad siomay dirumah~
Me: -Siomay-
Fajar: David Siomay
Me: HAHAHA KNP AD DAVIDNY?!1/1/
Fajar: kan2 ad orang yg jualan siomay namany david
Made me lol HARD.

Fajar: or2 Jackie the Vegetarian
Me: y jackie?
Fajar: cz2 thers tukang jualan sayur2 namany Jackie n theres another one called Rosalinda
That too.

Me: poor umar.
Cania: your daily 5-min death?
Me: no2 hes not dead.
Umar: im pro "Aeiri", i dont 'DIE"
Cania: what did umar say.
Hamzah: how sad. ppl ddnt buy burgers [SO RANDOM]
Me: umar dusnt die?
Umar: yes. I AM PRO!!!
-and then afterwards a monster killed him -
SO FUNNY

Fajar: umar
Umar: wt
Fajar: train me
Umar: ntar ah
Fajar: skrg lah
Umar: pr
Fajar: ketek, jgn pe-er mulu
LOL CONVERSATION BETWEEN 2 MALES = WIN

-me and Hamzah debating about celebs and cool guys-
Me: me n dhe3's sense of coolness is th same
Hamzah: i no wts cool n wts not
Me: our cool guys r ur gay ones
Umar: im gay??
SO BIGHEADED/PEDE GOSH XDXDXD but that's what makes him interesting (Y)

Me: ANYWAY celeb guys r gay, most of em
Hamzah: pff
Umar: im not
Me: umar ure not a celeb
I SPIT AT THAT. couldn't stop laughing

Ocha: sakato returns with an even uglier color
Cania: umar that looks more hideous than before.
Me: umar i liked ur colour bfore
Umar: wtevr

Cania: NOOOO MY FACE!
Me: it ws never pretty in th first place.
Cania: ...
Me: AHAAHAAHAHAHA LAUGHS AT OWN JOKE
Me: kidding cania. ure as beautiful as kfc.
Cania: AHAAHAHAH
Ocha: HAHAHAHAHA
Me: LAUGHS AT OWN JOKE NO.2
I'm lame and awesome

*wondering who KEVJUMBA is*
Me: maybe its fajar's made up name
Ocha: FAJUMBA
Fajar: WOOJUMBA
Me: marjumba
Umar: wt
-all laugh- HAHAHAAHAHA akljsdsklajdsadj
Umar: rele im not laffing at all
IT WAS SO. DAMN. HILARIOUS.

Cania: hey guys :D
Fajar: go away
Cania: ...
Fajar: =D
Cania: XD
STUPID.

Me: umar is in kokomo beach dying. is he dying i wonder?
Umar: gfo die urself
Back then I wasn't intimidated but when I read it today I was FREAKED OUT. btw gfo means get the fak out

-Umar & Cania niffing together, Cania fails-
Umar: wts ur lvl anyway??
Cania: 83/50
Umar: same as me... but u still suck
ah, the gentleness of a lad to a lady

Umar: bs y don u play an instrument, like a flute or clarinet n be like squidward

That's all folks!
I'm sorry... you were lonely but I didn't keep you company

I Miss U

2009-07-14T19:44:00.002+03:00

I had a dream that I went to QIS :D The scenes are pretty undescribable though. One thing I can tell you is that the glasses Umar wore were round, big and overall nerdy. He looked pretty foolish ;B Oh yeah, before I went to sleep me and Ocha were doing sign language games 'cause both of us had insomnia ): We created DNW with Sungmin's Sorry2 sok-manly gesture and she had to figure out what I was spelling with my fingers. It was fun (Y)

Sooooo........ went to Plaza Senayan today, with the Space Sisters only from 11am 'til 4pm-ish. We entered the food court to find Cania sitting on a table separate from Carisa who was in the darker area. Her hair covered her face so she looked emo XDXD Of course we ate KFC and being the clumsy person I am, I accidentally spilled my tea all over the table and floor ToT I think we then prayed in the nice Musholla and traveled to Kinokuniya. In that place we observed artbooks, English-translated mangas, random pointless comics like one entitled Babies, magazines and novels.
We then went downstairs to the Gashapon CC told me about before. I was spazzing at the Soul Eater one and immediately set my eyes on the Death the Kid gantungan HP. It consumed 2 tokens which was RP 30k -__-; We were like hoping but after suspensefully opening the spherical container, got the dumb cat Blair [bottom left]... I begged Matar for another go, count this as my birthday present, and another 30k was spent. This time we got.... BLAIR, again. Gave it to Carisa. I was desperately wanting Kid so after lots of pleading someone donated more cash and after I spun the wheel with lots of bismillah.... I got EXCALIBUR [top middle] and the thing is - THAT WAS THE ONE I REALLY DIDN'T WANT 'CAUSE I HATE THAT CHARACTER! I was dramatically weeping as everybody laughed instead. I then persuaded MD to give just RP 10k 'cause I had 20 and this will be the last time I mean it. After putting in the tokens Cania stepped in and decided to spin the wheel and when the container came out I grabbed it and turned away from everyone else to open it slowly and find... SOUL [top left]!!!!!!!1 I was SO SO SO HAPPY and Cania was like 'see it's because of me you got a good one' LOL true, maybe. Well anyway we were finally able to leave that place [after spending RP 120k...].

Those are exactly what we got ['cept Stein and Kid >.>]

None of us knew where to go, really. Somehow we ended up in front of Metro and decided to go in. I saw the toys section and, hoping another Gashapon would be there, chanted 'toys toys toys toys' and pointed at the area. As we walked there MD was like 'I can't believe we're going to toys' or something like that. HEHEHEHE. It's been ages since I've explored them though D': Blame aging. Well anyway stupidly enough we played with those... binocular things where you put a plastic circle with pictures inside the lens and press a button and it changes each time. I forgot what else we looked at but I saw more GUNDAM *___* There was Exia and Dynames and others. We were finishing off our little adventure when we saw a baby doll toy thing called 'Baby Alive' and somebody started singing it in the Ring the Alarm tone - we laughed so hard at that. Basically us 5 girls were freakishly ribut. Specially when we saw a leg display of footwear that looked like WUDHU SOCKS. The Space Sisters took a picture with it and we exploded with HAHAHAHAs. In front of the store there was a sale on t-shirts so we observed them. They were SO CUTE. The merek is David and Goliath. We spent forever browsing through all the shirts 'cause they had adorable pictures and good quotes although I can't remember any =D I kept whispering to them that we're giving the shopkeepers hope 'cause they think we're gunna buy something but we didn't 'cause they were so mahal XD We walked off messing up the clothes stacks and the staffs' dreams. Oh yeah I saw an Asian nun but she was wearing white - I've never seen one in real life before *-*
Unfortunately it was time to go home after that ): But before doing so we took a picture with the large Emma Watson Burberry ad next to the store XD

Ignore the unattractive lads, kthx

At home I read Sparkling Gingachou and totally spazzed over Kuro 'cause he's so cool so handsome so nice so *sigh*. Click here to see the cover, Kuro's the one with blue hair *-*
Turns out Fajar greeted me in Facebook at 7-ish pm and I was so surprised to see such a chat open; but he was offline when I checked. After reading the contents of what he typed [most/all in caps lock] my cheeks started burning and I thought I was gunna die. Will not paste the log.
Before going to bed us Twitters discussed Dufan and shiat and I watched a generous amount of Soul Eater (Y) Thank you for reading, sorry it's so long xD It was a wonderful Tuesday alhamdulillah ^^ - whoa I hardly use that emote.

p.s. Fajar finally smsed me today and I got mad at him at first but I put it aside later

Beautiful Cottage

2009-07-13T17:52:00.003+03:00

You know once I go to the US I'll have to get used to 'July 13th' instead of '13th July'. I think. Today I had my first ever driving lesson which lasted 30 minutes. I was expecting a mess-up but it's not actually hard - unless if you're using an automatic car. I used a manual which consisted of coupling shit which is my weakness. Despite that, driving is so much fun (: After my lesson I had to go to the doctor where my mom and Ocha were at. I was forced to wait there 'til what, 11:30 from like 9. All I did was watch TV [which had creepy stuff] and listen to my iPod then I slept for a bit on the bench.
Then it was time to go to PIM. I've never been there before so it was another first. Ahh, how nice it is to see your friends. Too bad Dhe3 wasn't able to attend D: I sat inbetween CC, duh after having 3D glasses issues - the attendants were imbeciles and fussy. Only comment about Ice Age 3 - fakin hilarious. If you wanna laugh so hard until you cry then go watch it. Actually you can watch Up, too, but that's your choice not mine.
We then had lunch, the mothers were there and when I saw Tante Ita I started cursing at the twins' organisation meeting [isn't called eMPe?] which could've been a different day. The girls suddenly presented a purple cupcake with a candle on it to me and sang happy birthday. I was truly touched ToT. I had Fiesta Steak with MD, Ocha and Dhea [Anty sat with us] whilst the others ran off to Sushi Tei.
When we were done me and Matar went to pray, following that we visited some music shops, then crossed the skywalk to PIM 1 was it? and spent a while in an anime/manga/game shop :'D She bought a School Rumble keychain as I lurked the place for anything Gundam or Soul Eater related but only found Gundam action figures/models which I marvelled at and made me think of Fajar who I wished was there but I had no contact with him at all anyway... Later on we went to Kinokuniya was it? and then Gramed? Cania caught up with us. Us 3 then traveled to Toko Gunung Agung, on the way or inside the store was it we lolled really hard at something but I can't remember what T~T Space sisters, relive my memory prz.
Soon we met up with DnF and cousins, MD and Ocha. Surprisingly everyone else went home already [there was Annisa, Nisa, Andin and her cousin you know]. We decided to have do a photobox thingy :D It was my first time EVER [omg 3 first times today], and a total mess because there be blurs and we repeated the shots 9023902x. T'was a nice experience though (Y)
When that was over with we all walked around the place randomly but me and Cania were engaging in intense discussion about daydreams. It was so awesome to talk about something like that with someone else, specially when it's your best friend =D
CC had to go home before us but we knew we'd meet again, so after a bye the remaining girls bought Hop Hop. Apparently there was an undian thingy but in the form we had to CURHAT. Farah filled hers out so STUPIDLY, she wrote so much about how her boyfriend broke up with her and she ktabrak mobil or something and others. It was hilarious though XD The Musthofa sisters talked to the staff girl [she looked young] so casually and actually joked around. The time we spent there exceeded 10 minutes, I think. I had to fill out my own too but with 100% honesty. Will not tell what I put. That's all ;D I had lots of fun. Sorry I couldn't put in any dialogue or humorous quotes...

Earth Water

2009-07-12T19:04:00.002+03:00

Greetings bebolz, I am here to type about my 1st 4 days in earth water [tanah air] aka Indonesia, my home country, but not exactly my home. Initially I wanted to type in here about the first 2 weeks and then the 1st week but you all know how much I can drag my descriptions so let's keep it to 4 days, shall we?

Thursday 9th July 2009

Woke up at 1pm but slept at 4am I think so reasonable enough. Stayed at home all day reading comics and was still uber major tired. Today I experienced playing with my laptop on my lap on a bed and it was excrutiating 'cause it weighs at least 10kg probably. Found out that in my dorm I'll be in a single room so no mate. Nor Asian. I wasn't in the mood to sleep yet so...

Friday 10th July 2009

... I stayed up 'til 3AM, playing JamLegend, watching K-On! and... watching Sekompond music videos. I had trouble deciding whether to express this or not but well, here goes... first of all when I watched Boys Just Wanna Live, Come Out and Play and Walking Disaster I was grinning and got teary-eyed a bit. But when Shadows and Regrets was played... yeah, I started crying, for like the entire length of the music video which is 4 minutes x___x; Oddest thing was that I kept smiling as I sobbed. So... I don't know if that was tears of joy or sadness at all. It was one heck of a tear shed though. Thank God MD was already asleep >.>;
I went to my driving lesson place today and then ate at Solaria in Plaza Kalibata. The mie ayam was good. I realised how much my hips are expanding so I have troubling buttoning my pants which is so annoying. My cousin's daughter [wtf do you call those anyway?] Dinnar is the cutest girl baby ever. In the afternoon we visited my Uncle's for 2hrs but all I did was sit down and listen to grown-up talk. My grandpa, 91 or something, was there and he told me that instead of studying expensively in the US I should use the money to buy cows. That was funny.
At night the internet welcomed me to its idiocracy. I spent the entire time JamLegending, listening to music and YouTubing [MD found a make-up artist that had interesting videos], battling with patience as stuff had to load.

Saturday 11th July 2009
Went to ITC Kuningan with family excluding dad, obviously. I only bought sajadah, mukena and daleman. The sajadah is blue, thick and so beautiful *-* My Magic Corn also had too much water so that was pretty unpleasant. I ate Bakmi GM for the first time in a year but for some reason get full before 3/4 of the plate is even finished... my mom and older sister really got on my nerves so I was in a pretty emo and horrible mood the entire time. Thankfully at night that was made up by the Marwoto Sisters' Super Junior Frenzy. Basically watched SuJu perfs for hours and stuff. After they went to sleep I listened to 293328 versions of Canon Rock (Y)

Sunday 12th July 2009
I want smses, I started to think. Preferrably from Fajar. But that boy always has reasons... So, at 1-ish we went to Taman Anggrek. I ate Hoka Hoka Bento for the first time ever, t'was beef teriyaki. I even consumed the salad and was proud of myself. My main mission of going to that faraway mall was to find this K-pop cart Dhe3 told me about in Twitter. Once there, I found SuJu goodies but no Donghae pillow. Mother didn't let me buy the gantungan HP of my prince fishy and I was all asdjakjdla. However we did buy their 3rd album (Y) Only it's not the original... In Gramedia I bought an Animonster posterbook /fsh, 6 comics and badges for Hamzah. The store's lacking its Shoujo.... Back at home I drooled at all the posters and started reading my manga - Fullmoon Joker. The main lead is my dream guy. Here are some of the epic dialogue

'Walopun aku g pny kbaikan hati sperti kmu, tpi aku suka dgn kbaikanmu itu'

'Ketua.. ap yg sdang kau pkirkan?'
"Kau yg nangis smpe mukamu brantakan. Jelek!"
'Jahat!'
"Krna jelek, cptlah brhenti nangis."
AWESOMENESS MUCH?

Prepare for another one~

Fly With Emirates, biatch

2009-07-09T09:01:00.000+03:00

For the past 2 days I had left in Qatar, which was Monday 6th and Tuesday 7th July, I observed all my RO screenshots from May 'til October-ish 2008. I didn't have time to look at the ones from this year. There was just waaaay too much. Like, I viewed over 5000 of em. Thankfully I twitted lots of the ones I found particularly hilarious and I shall paste them here.

RO LOGS COLLECTION
Umar: mvp apa lgi?
Fajar: UR MOM! AHAHAHAHA
Umar: ha, g lucu
I SRSLY LAUGHED AT THAT ONE Idk why I found it so funny it just IS. Gotta love Umar's expressionless-ism

Umar: yay i can kill poporing
THAT ONE IS HILARIOUS TOO. Poporing is this really easy monster btw

Fajar: compound me n umar become? trentkato
Me: ngomongin ap sih?
Hamzah: yaoi partnering...
Umar: sakato harrison
FYI Fajar's chara name is Trent Harrison and Umar's is Sakato. FUNNY STUFF (Y)

Aeiri has logged in.
Me: CANIAAAAA
Fajar: CANIAA!!!
Ocha: CNAIA CANIA WELCOME
Me: SHES NOT IN TH PARTY DORKS

Cania: CARISA'S BEATING AN MVP
Me: wt is it?!
Cania: toad.
Hamzah: ...
LOLOLOLOLOL

Random Person: selling angel wing helm
Me: not hanks.
Cania: no thanks...
Me: NOT HANKS? no thanks. who is hanks.

Fajar: haha noob
Me: stop callin ppl noob
Fajar: noob
Carisa: you SINGKONG
SOOOO RANDOM WTH MATAR XXDDXXD

Me: bt after sammy's gone ill be lonely
Fajar: theres still me bs
Me: i mean in class
Fajar: ima being ur teacher
Umar: IMMA FIRIN MA LAZER!!!
I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING AFTER THAT ONE. UMAR IS EXTREMELY FUNNY GOSH

Ocha: this is sparta.
Fajar: we r sparta's
Ocha: THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA
Carisa: STOP IT XDXD
Fajar: WE R SPARTAAAS
Umar: MADNESS?
SEE THAT GUY IS A NATURAL

Fadhli: pvp?
Fajar: matii kamu fad. ur the noobest
Umar: mang. rambut ganti dong
Fajar: tw fad. use headgears - bt not nutshell
Those 2 bullying Fadhli is lol too (Y)

Fajar: ALOOOT OF ASSAULTER
Umar: ITS A MASSACRE
Me: fajar d u kno ressa herlambang - menyesal? :D
Cania: THIS IS NOT THE TIME SYANIA

Random Pro: all die again :D
Cania: sorry...
Umar: we r worms!!
HAHAHAHAHAAH

*talkin about MacLeod*
Hamzah: she has white teeth n shes rele white
Me: hamzah stop sayin perverted stuff.
Hamzah: TEETH r perverted?
LOL that's when school had just started ;D

Fadhli: mvp cool
Fajar: shut up fadlhi u cant even kill 1
LOL FAJAR WAAKKAAKAKA that made me laugh a lot.

Fajar: i think i cant come
Fadhli: where?
Fajar: the toilet at ur house

*Me, Matar, Fajar happily chatting*
Random Person: pinoy ka?
Me: pinoy ka?
Matar: PINOY KA?
Fajar: PINOY KA??!!?!?

Fajar: i want KFC
Me: OH YA fajar wt is ur favourite food in kfc.
Matar: I LIEK crispy.
Fajar: the CHICKEN DUH
OBVIOUSNESS FTW XD

Carisa: sanso is oxygen
Fadhli: cepet is a monster
Umar: wow.. rele fad???
SARCASM RULES

Fajar: cupuan lu fad
Umar: mang
Fajar: liat deh. kita smwnya headgear nya
Umar: apa??
Fajar: di atas 100k
Umar: aq 60k
EVEN AS I READ THAT NOW I STILL LAUGH HAHAHA

OOook that's all, were you amused? Hopefully.

At 2AM on the 6th Fajar smsed me and it said 'Wow y' and I was like WTF IS THIS but I didn't bother smsing back because I'm gengsi like that [did I use that word in the right context?]
On my last day in Qatar, I worked on something that made my back ache and printer run out of half its ink... I pray to God it'll be worth it, amin.
Well anyway at 12-ish my family went to the airport and we said a lighthearted bye to our father who will catch up with us soon on the 23rd. My bag was filled with art utensils which made it extremely heavy which is the reason for the intense shoulder ache I continuously feel nowadays when I wear my shoulder bag. After looking around at perfumes we just sat down and I fell asleep. There were annoying maids chittering next to us.
As usual in the plane which is the wonderful Emirates I freaked out and as soon as the plane was taking off I started dzikir-ing. I tried to fall asleep but mom disturbed by shoving food at me, I think.
We reached Dubai where I realised we had to stay there for 4 hours... The airport totally upgraded. It was a LOT bigger and SO MUCH PRETTIER *-* Sadly I was too lazy to take my camera out to spam pictures, my bag was already a pain to carry. Apparently our waiting room place was EXACTLY on the other side from where we reached. I spotted battery charging places everywhere and squirmed to play my laptop but never did. Me and Ocha ate McDonalds (Y) HEHE. There were leg-stretching chairs but all were dominated so I sat on a normal one and slept for 2 hours.
In the plane I began dzikir-ing again and decided to sleep. I woke up after a while and suddenly heard that seatbelt ding sound and the automated message 'Please fasten your seatbelt' and my head was thinking 'Shit crap f*** damn why do I have to wake up at a time like this' and the plane bounced a little and I forced myself to sleep again but couldn't. The pilot started saying 'Cabin crew please take your seats' and the air hostess was like 'We are now passing an area of rough air so please remain seated' and I was like FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU SEE WHY I HATE PLANES?!!?!?
Alhamdulillahhirobbil'alamin nothing happened at all. I watched 17 Again which I must admit had such a cool Zac Efron unlike the typically ugly HSM one. It was a very nice movie, I rate it a 7.5 or something - so you guys should watch it. I then observed Hannah Montana: The Movie which I really really honestly think was nice and does NOT deserve the 2.8 whatever out of 10 rating IMDB gave it. It had no lame cowboy Billy Ray Cyrus jokes or stupid Jacksonness nor other dumb things. To tell you another truth, I nearly cried like 3x but I kept it in 'cause I was inbetween mom and Ocha /swt. I will not identify the reasons of my near-sobbing. The Travis guy was soooooo handsome~ and the songs were nice o___O; OK enough HM complimenting. I had time for 1 more movie so Bedtime Stories it was - very imaginative and awesome movie that was. Bugsy the hamster made me cry from laughing too much (Y) The window was closed throughout and when Ocha opened it an hour-ish before landing it was literally BLACK outside and we were so surprised. p.s. wudhuing in a plane bathroom is shit hard
I reached Indonesia at 10:30pm~ But irrititatingly enough we waited 'til past 12 to get our luggages, which 1 ended up as STILL IN DUBAI WTF. Poor MD, Mas Defri and Pak Dhe hadta wait for 3hrs.

Do you miss me at all

1 4m n0t 4mus3d

2009-07-05T14:15:00.005+03:00

How you people doing? If there is anyone... It's been 2/3 days since I've blogged but I don't have anything to say, really. On the 3rd of July I finally got to chat with Hamzahヽ(´ー｀)ﾉ but he disappeared after 2hrs or something. At 4-ish me and Ocha went to Jarir and I got to buy printer ink which costed 89QR yaaay~ After that we went to FFC where we just randomly browsed everywhere 'cause Mom was still at Landmark（￣□￣；）There was a random, adorable bule toddler that stood in front of me once and said 'Mama?' and I was like 'Oh you need to find your mom?' or something but I had to leave him 'cause we were checking out [as in, paying the stuff]. He was soooooo cuute and me and Ocha felt so sorry for him as he waddled across the store. That day I was watching an Indonesian film called Suka Ma Suka which was about pretend gays. The acting srsly WAS gay but not that bad I guess. It entertained me anyway (Y) I went to bed at 10pm but stayed up 'til 1AM 'cause I was reading Glek! Pucho and talking to Ocha. We kept laughing 'cause of various stuff but I don't remember what. She slept at 12-ish so I had company for the 2 hours.

4th of July, I had a dream that I went to Super Show II [SuJu's upcoming concert] and it was held on a grassy field but with stages of course. Weirdly enough lots of the fangirls at the front row ATE the grass 'cause SuJu walked on it. PSYCHOTIC. I woke up when the concert was about to start... stupid alarm.
Today was the day I had to pack up my clothes and other stuff I shall bring to the Mines. Mind you, cleaning the closet feels good even though it takes a while. I discovered that I have tons of clothes I hardly ever wore which should go to charity or Ocha. Whenever my mom spoke of throwing them I got mad at her. I got a bit emo 'cause I couldn't find the Kipling wristband I lost last year but God gives us miracles when we least expect it, 'cause when I was dumping my long-sleeved shirts from my wardrobe to the carpet the wristband suddenly fell down with the pile. I was so happy to see it. T-T I decided to take a break so I looked at my laptop only to find Fajar greeting me in Facebook 10 minutes before with a hoi hoi hoi. I was disappointed but oh well. So, to my dorm I'll be bringing The Dice, The Cow, ICG comics, Drawing folders, Nisa's closet gift, Wooden Dummy + Hand, Bag, Yearbooks and papers and other junk. What else is there to bring? The rest of my life is in the laptop.

Before I went to bed I was looking through all my photos and MSN screenshots and some of my RO ones too. Most of them made me smile and snicker but a few of them made my heart feel a twinge of pain. Some of the screens and photos made me wanna tear up too - but in a good way. I had trouble sleeping though. I was thinking too much of something.

Today I woke up at 7:30 but decided to snooze again 'til 12-ish. The dream I had was so weird, it involved gift baskets of chocolate, my Year 12 classmates, giant rolling tsumos, a picnic on the field watching a performance by the tsumos, trees and horses on fire, running away from them, hiding in this random long chain of shacks and finding Adam and Arif hiding there too. So random. The creepiest thing was that Adam was half bald but the hair on top of his head was spiked. Creepy.

It's 2:40pm now, so booooooreed~
oh yes, 2.5 more days 'til I go to Indo!

Missing the 17th Cleanup

2009-07-02T23:16:00.010+03:00

my last day of being 16, yo

Well I finally get the urge to type a blog entry! Since Matar already blogged about what we did on my birthday [30th June...] I don't bother describing myself :'D Except that thankfully I didn't get traumas from Mystery 6 'cause I kept covering my eyes, I bought a blue GAP jacket which I very much likey and TGI Friday session nearly killed me [I laughed too hard]. Sleeping on the floor with effective material is also comfortable. Hamzah was my first SMSer like last year [and he was the only one that remembered 'til afternoon I think] at 1:40-ish AM in the morning, followed by Dhe3, Tresa [wow she remembered], Dinda & Indira then MD. Farah wished me via chat and Dhea the next day on FB. I wasn't surprised Nisa [or Umar, who went online the next day] didn't say anything. However I waited for an sms from Fajar like all day and even on the 1st of July. I had a little hope, a little bit of expectance. But nothing .__. I gave up towards the evening 'cause obviously he forgot. Just like last year. But last year he said he lost his phone so he smsed Happy Birthday on the 3rd. I got angry at him anyway, even though it's just a birthday, it's just a number, everything's the same. I just want to hear something from him, that's all. I still have the smses in my Saved Folders. Despite my inner sorrow, I had fun in those 2 days, of course.

I'm sorry I forgot your birthday
I'm sorry 'cause I'm a shit face
I thought it was on a Wednesday
A Monday or a Tuesday
It's all the same to me
So what would make you happy?
Tell me, 'cause I'm sorry
These colors that we bind
Look all the same to me

After CC left my household at 4pm, I read mangas. Everytime I read manga there's always a character that looks/reminds me of Fajar the birthday forgetter. That includes on my 17th also -o-; Well, not that I mind. Oh yea, I got added by my future college suitemates too. I'll show 3 of them, Rainey, Kylie and Michaela. Kylie is the friendliest one so far 'cause we wallpost each other frequently. But don't you guys see how much older [and obviously taller] they are? Can you imagine me living in the same roof as them everyday [except when I go to Qatar and Indonesia and wherever on holidays yay!] 'til I graduate [which I think is in 2012/2013]? 0.0 I bet Hamzah would be excited.... but I'm like shit scared. I browsed through the college's Facebook community, read threads and wallposts and like, found only 2 Asians or something. None of them Muslim either. There's only 200-ish members though so I'm sure there'll be more in the actual campus but... I'm still nervous and freaked out. I talked about these people with Matar but honestly really wanted to tell Hamzah too, only he wasn't there of course. I read the future collegemates' messages and they're ALL excited. Of course they are. They don't have Asian-fetish problems [irony much; I love, breathe, live and wanna be with Asians but end up in the West], age issues [cough, just turned 17 here] nor are surrounded by people of a different religion. I hope Allah will make life a looooot easier when I get there, amin. By the way I define: googled 'fetish' and Qtel blocked it, lol. Man, I always have loads of problems in my life. I wonder when I'll be worry-free. A little bit of me is excited about my new future life. But the rest of me wants things to stay the same. Just me and Sekompond. I don't care if there's no spice. I only wanna be with you guys. You know me, I hate change. Especially big ones like this.

p.s. they don't use emotes either which is a HUGE dilemma
p.p.s. the guy:girl ratio is 5:1 no fakin way.

Yesterday, the 1st of July, I cleaned my desk for the first time since April or something, for 3 hours. It was tough work but I kinda had fun. I was also proud of myself for saving all that paper which Ocha will put in the Recycling bins when she starts school. More people need to love paper like me, seriously. I could cry if I had to throw all that away. During my spree I found some nifty old scraps of memories which I decided to keep, too, like Maths tip-ex art and long lost doodles. Farah goes on at MSN often unlike others and I've been asking her of Fajar's whereabouts and when she said she hasn't heard from him at all I was relieved to tell you the truth. Hamzah went online for a bit as shown by his twits but we didn't chat even though I really wanted to. Jaim mode, on, yes
I watched SHINee Yunhanam and fell even more in love with Jonghyun. Note, Donghae is still my ultimate fandom, OK. Dear Fishy is not easy to be replaced. Overall boring day.

Today [well technically yesterday again 'cause it's just midnight now], 2nd of July was even more boring. I surfed Kpop celeb news and FML for ages, pigged out and ate every meal with chilli sauce and got a huge temper which I held in at night 'cause it related to my dad and Mines [what you call my college]. My printer was also being a femaledog so I'm gunna buy some ink tomorrow; I was meant to be thinking of a comic plot and eating dinner which got delayed 'til 10 and really, I think my idea brain is dead. I can hardly come up with anything. I'll keep trying though 'cause I do have a passion for drawing and stories. Maybe it's just due to my mood >: I do have a basic plot though. Hope it develops.
So CC are in the plane right now as I type this. I will be soon, too, on the 8th.

Who is the first person you think of when you wake up?
Who do you contact first when good things happen?
Whose words do you rely on when bad things happen?
When bored... when playing fun games... when it's good weather outside... when you feel sad because of the rain..
Who do you think?

I can't think of anyone else.

Summer = Bummer

2009-06-28T21:57:00.016+03:00

Bummer: an experience that is irritating or frustrating or disappointing; A truck with two low wheels and long pole for hauling logs.

The twins left yesterday for real. Me and Hamzah didn't have a proper goodbye at all. The last time we saw each other in Qatar was in front of my doorstep, where he gave me back my USB and I insisted him to take the green book home so Umar can write his bio in it but he refused 'cause he doesn't wanna bring it to the Musholla so he'll come back later to fetch it but he forgot to; and when he was supposed to come back later turns out he had to go to the tailor's suddenly and when he came back he had to pack up his laptop, before I knew it he was offline. The last time I saw Umar in Qatar was outside; he was walking to the Musholla and I looked at him but he didn't. Or did he?

I woke up at 10:30 I think and played RO, alone, I was looking for Abysmal Knight. Umar was already on but was idle mostly I guess. I got obsessed with the Friends Chain Reaction Game in FB for a bit 'cause it made cute noises plus I love getting High Scores.
In the afternoon Cania appeared and she and Umar both went Niffing and went to the Pyramids before I decided to catch up with them. He was so talkative you know, I bet because Cania was there. The convos we had were very funny though. We talked about ice cream, the pronunciation of 'vehicles', mangas, loads. I feel like pasting ~~some~~ a lot I find particularly amusing 'cause I have tons of RO logs and I won't be bothered to search through each one in the future when I read this entry. Oddly enough we didn't Skype .x.

For those who don't know, Sakurai Kito is me, Sakato is Umar, Aeiri is Cania and Katsuo Morogani is Hamzah (Y) Fajar, you should've stayed longer.

Best Friend is Ice Cream
Sakurai Kito : my best friend in RO is fajar D":
Sakurai Kito : i need piano keeeys
Sakato : i hav
Sakato : 2
Sakato : i thot u hate him
Sakurai Kito : it makes me wnder wt its for
Sakurai Kito : wt
Sakurai Kito : who sed i did
Sakato : u always fight snt u
Sakato : *dnt
Sakurai Kito : dsnt mean i hate him
Sakato : aah a romantic comedy fight rite
Sakurai Kito : in fact th reasons y we fight is due to el oh vee ee
Sakurai Kito : hmmh comedy, maybe not
Sakato : LHURVE]
Sakurai Kito : friendship love, ya
Aeiri : LOL WHUT AFTER I WENT TO GET ICE CREAM XD
Sakato : i luv
Sakato : ice cream
Aeiri : you luv.
Sakurai Kito : me too.
Aeiri : everyone does.
Sakurai Kito : U MAKE ME WANNA GET ICE CREAM
Sakurai Kito : -goes-
Sakato : take care of ur bodies girls-- just a message

Bathroom Fetish
Aeiri : well yu're going today right?
Sakato : toNIGHT
Aeiri : WHO CARES
Sakato : yes
Sakato : i wish th flight will be longer
Sakato : i like being in planes
Sakato : especially th bathroom
Aeiri : LOL ME TOO
Sakurai Kito : BATHROOM?
Sakurai Kito : UMAR U GAYS
Aeiri : though sometimes i feel i want wings.
Sakurai Kito : n i just realised u sed bodies insted of health
Aeiri : AHAHAHA BATHROOM
Sakurai Kito : PEEEEEERV
Sakato : hey wt
Sakato : th bathroom is nice n small
Sakurai Kito : i hate plane toilets is so small
Aeiri : yeah it is.
Sakato : wt perv
Sakurai Kito : no space to walk around
Aeiri : perv what?
Sakato : its nice
Sakurai Kito : sigh u guys dnt get it
Sakato : i feel i want to sleep in it

Vehicle [this one took ages to colourise]
Aeiri : you asked veekel
Sakurai Kito : huh?
Sakato : u sed th second one
Sakurai Kito : cania wt ice cream flavour u eatin
Sakato : which ws veehighkel
Sakurai Kito : i sed veehikel
Aeiri : no he asked 'veekel' instead of 'veeheekel'.
Sakurai Kito : o
Aeiri : then i said oh no
Sakato : thts th same pronounciation
Aeiri : i'm eating chocolate duh.
Sakato : rain
Aeiri : no it is NOT.
Sakato : veekle n veeheekle
Aeiri : ...
Sakato : so very very similar
Sakurai Kito : wts with th random rain
Aeiri : NO
Sakato : chocolate rain
Aeiri : it's not the same...
Aeiri : whut chocolate rain
Sakurai Kito : some stay dry n other feel th pain
Sakato : wt th...
Sakato : who says veeheekel
Aeiri : LOL THAT'S AWESOME
Sakurai Kito : i do
Aeiri : I SAY IT...
Sakato : its either veehighkel or veekel
Sakurai Kito : actually bo
Sakurai Kito : *no
Sakurai Kito : i sed VEEHIKEL
Sakurai Kito : th hi is very misheard
Sakurai Kito : i mean u cn hardly hear it
Aeiri : OH FINE I SAY VEEKEL
Sakato : is tht veehighkel
Sakurai Kito : LETS SKYPE OUR PRONUNCIATIONS
Aeiri : AHAHAHA
Aeiri : NO
Sakato : yes no
Aeiri : yes?
Aeiri : or no.
Sakato : no
Sakato : warp her woman
Aeiri : butyou said yes no.
Sakato : she needed niff
Aeiri : no way
Aeiri : she who
Sakurai Kito : WT?
Sakurai Kito : U GUYS SOUNDED SO STUPID

Penyets [Flats]
Sakurai Kito : im already imagining my future house *-*
Katsuo Morogani : LOOL
Aeiri : it's a gubuk with a straw roof
Sakurai Kito : itll have wooden floorrrrrrrrr
Sakurai Kito : SHUT UP U
Katsuo Morogani : wt makes u so sure ull get one
Aeiri : AHAHHAHAHA
Sakato : back
Katsuo Morogani : liek
Sakurai Kito : HAMZAH?!!??!?
Katsuo Morogani : wt if tis a FLAT
Sakurai Kito : go die
Sakurai Kito : ILL NEVER ACCEPT A FLAT
Katsuo Morogani : ZOMG FLAT
Sakurai Kito : i want round
Aeiri : but i live in a flat now...
Sakurai Kito : ok tht ws a rele lame joke
Katsuo Morogani : VERY LAME
Sakurai Kito : XD
Aeiri : you guys are mocking my home -cries-
Katsuo Morogani : round isnt even associated with flat
Sakurai Kito : yu uh
Aeiri : it is for us girls
Sakurai Kito : sorry cania i dislike flats
Sakurai Kito : OMG URE RITE
Aeiri : i like flats.
Sakurai Kito : me too.
Aeiri : HAAHHAHA
Sakurai Kito : i mean th girl kinda flat
Sakurai Kito : nt house flat
Aeiri : -changes topic-
Sakurai Kito : n btw gubuks r RELE UGLY

Caps Mar
Sakato : NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DNT HAVE ENUFF ZENY
Sakurai Kito : discovery: umar caps when he has financial crisis

He caps at something else but I didn't save that log );

Well that's basically all of yesterday, ROing I mean. I chatted with Hamzah too as usual and at night when he suddenly had to go I was so surprised and we were caps locking and so dramatic. However at 11-ish they went online at the airport which was good news but Hamzah and I only got to chat 'til 12 and that wasn't long T-T

Today I made a mage called Aya Toshiro and trained with Cania's Swordsman for some time. It's so hard, you know. I'm still level 33 I think HARHAR. I got to chat with Farah and Nisa and yesterday Iwan too [only it ended quickly]. Dhea smsed me but I was hoping it was Fajar. I wonder if he'll remember my birthday this year, if he'll ever sms me [hope he hasn't been with Farah or else I'll kill him for not doing so with me -__-;], what he's been doing and if he misses me and especially what he thinks of the letter.

I was soooooooooo bored so I decided to read/waft through all my 135/136 blog entries just incase any of them needed any label updates which they did. It felt kinda weird reading about my life berturut-turut, it was like a book. At some points where there wasn't explicit detail about me and Fajar's continuous fights I would search through my chat logs or photos, even. It was funny [I don't mean humorous funny btw] seeing the order of the chain of events he and I encountered up 'til this point in both of our lives. Our friendship kept going on and off and on but there was always love, you know [and hatred, but that was only from me maybe]. There were so many memories in all those entries I totally forgot about so it felt great reading them again. I spent from 2 'til 9pm doing that you know @@; Well with breaks and stuff inbetween obviously. It makes me grateful that I own a blog. (Y)

Random excerpts I twitted:
Me: "Does anyone have any pants I can borrow?"
Umar: "Me" -puts on whoops face- ; that was from November 2008 0.0

When me and Dhe3 in Kempo laughed so hard 'cause of 'LET'S HAVE A BEACH PARTY. IN LONDON'.

Abah Rama.

The fake letter I typed to Fajar; 'Yeah, I'm always waiting for you. It's so uncool for me as a girl. You need to do the work next time.'

My commentary on exam papers; 'The paper looked friendly. They used happy fonts and the boxes were round and stuff :D Cute.'

'Abdominals - In pursuit of a perfect midsection.'

Nameless RO Chronicle [really forgot this happened]; Fajar: .Guardian Angel. | Me: Devil Protector | Carisa: Vigilant Being

Hamzah randomly opening a MSN chat saying 'help me label sex organs'

Walkathon; 'Once I wanted to say something to Hamzah but his pace was comparable to a dead lizard so I said 'Hamzah walk faster!' - that made me LOL

From a chat log; 'I care about your feelings. You just don't get it.'

So! Tomorrow is me and CC's big sleepover day :D There's loads of stuff we wanna do and I'm meant to make a list but let's just do stuff spontaneously, OK. We shall has fun, ya (Y) Oh and below is like my Colorado School of Mines [CSM] 2009-2010 Calendar. I don't know if I took the right dates though, hehe. As you can see I don't get that much holidays unlike MD and QIS which is unfair, stupid American University -__-; So you guys are lucky about that. But this might mean I won't visit as often as my older sister, you know. Maybe just once/twice a year? D: 'Tis sad. But I pray very hard to Allah when I do, I will make brilliant memories (Y) Amin. Thank God the Winter holidays are long - SO YOU GUYS BETTER STAY PUT THERE. Full view will hurt the eyes less.

Fajar, when I'll be living in the US, will you still read my blog?

The Greatest Gift is Friends, Like These

2009-06-26T23:34:00.010+03:00

Hey everyone. Well basically Carisa, Cania and Hamzah [maybe Indira too?] 'cause they're the only ones in Qatar now and who are able to read my blog this early.

I'm gunna type about the boring that is Thursday 25th of June 2009.
Hamzah was pretty out of reach 'cause he was so busy doing secret things which I figured out what they were the next day. Me and Matar totally spammed mangas that day. I read Cherry Juice, Koko Ni Iru Yo!, Watashi Ni XX Shinasai and uhh... actually that's it but I take ages to read so yeah. I played Typing Maniac a lot too 'cause I was so dying of boredom. Dhea told me to print stuff for Iwan's photo album and I got really upset 'cause I'm leaving too you know. I didn't even get a Farewell Party, haaaah. Fajar was like online but he never changed his PM nor greeted so I thought he was out or busy or something. I kept panicking and getting moody over it. Oh all the minutes I spent thinking of him, wondering if he was back. I also got this red closet gift thing from Nisa but Fadhli delivered it. At night when I chatted with Arya [it was long woo] he told me Fajar's been packing and so was tired D; Yah, we didn't get to see each other or chat at all that day. I was sad. But then I was cheered up by Matar's Colonel Sanders twit thingy. Here's the reference. Before I went to bed which was at 1AM I opened the closet thingy's doors and was so surprised to see its contents. Totally unexpected. Thanks again you 3.

Then, Friday 26th of June 2009.

I was hoping something good can happen between me and Fajar today 'cause... it was our last day, really. But he didn't go online at all, even at 10:30 which was the time I woke up. DnF rang the bell and gave me an awesome purple shirt and Iwan's photo album which I worked on for an hour. I was wishing I got one too.

I played my old computer games this morning too. I finished my page at 3 and like I had to draw for DnF and Fajar who are leaving at night so I had no idea if I had time [which I didn't]. DnF and CC appeared at 3:15 saying Fajar is leaving soon and I thought I was gunna cry 'cause I was so, so shocked. Immediately I started sitting by myself in the dining room and then my room writing a letter for him. It hurts to write a goodbye letter you know. I cried right at the end of it when I wrote that I love him. Dramatic much? But really, none of you has tried that before haven't you? So it isn't.

Since the rest already went to Iwan's to give the album I arrived late only to hear that they AREN'T goin' at 3:15 but at night, although the timing was still a mystery. I was so relieved and decided to do another letter after spending 5 minutes inside Iwan's house. I did so whilst chatting with Hamzah. Plus I made the 2nd version of the letter a lot more lighthearted 'cause I know Fajar doesn't like me being sad. I was still wondering where on earth he was and what he was doing.

At around 5 I went to DnF's and discovered they played with Fajar for a bit after I left... I was gutted .__. Soon me and Cania met up with Hamzah outside 'cause DnF and Matar were doing shnit Idk what inside and just talked. Mostly in front of Fajar's house in hopes he'll hear us and come out. But he didn't. Hamzah went in his house and came out looking very suspicious at one point and he and Cania were doing secret talk with like red faces which obviously showed they were hiding something. Then Cania gave me this handmade white envelope which was from Hamzah only he didn't give it himself, YOU LAME. I didn't open it yet then.

After more random talks I showed them the closet thing and brought an Atlas outside too to show people the USA map. Then Matar or whoever wanted to see our Broadmoor Elementary School yearbooks so I fetched 'em. Me and CC and often Hamzah were majorly lolling at all the comments and photos. I kept wishing Fajar would appear, you know. He would've had fun with us. However Maghrib came and thenI saw the boy walking towards the Musholla; me and Cania waved and he waved back but he was doing an emo face and that got me confused and upset 'cause....... You know. We spent more time Yearbooking 'til after Maghrib and like wondered when Umar was coming home from the Dentist but he never did 'til 9 or something. I tried giving the letter to Fajar by going to his house but he was in the bathroom...

At home we watched Ouran Remix and Naruto openings which made us squeal and laugh and stuff, ah nostalgia. I opened the envelope from Hamzah and it turns out to be some sort of Love Note except in the friendship way. He said 'Know that we I'll always love you - as a friend of course :P' God it was so sweet and thoughtful and like in the afternoon I was pouting how I wanted him to tell me he loves me and there it waaas. I love you Hamzah~ There will be a picture of it, ok.

I got extremely worried about Fajar's letter so I smsed him and he said he was leaving after Isya [I tried giving it to him again before but we heard clanking and thought they were eating]. We had KFC for dinner but I was so not in the mood for it. At 8:20-ish we decided to go to Fajar's house and alhamdulillah dear God You give such miracles, we were right on time to see the car just leaving the garage and them standing on the steps. Imagine if we went out a minute later, I wouldn't have seen him... nor for maybe the last time hear him say thanks as I gave the envelope, nor for maybe the last time see him smile as he went in the car and took it from me. As the car drove past we waved goodbye and that boy just kept grinning. We started walking to DnF's after to say bye too but you know what, I suddenly cried really hard just like how I did all those days ago. I even made crying noises... sobbing, basically. CC were patting me and stuff, thanks guys. But it was so difficult to stop.

In front of DnF's I was still weeping so I said that I didn't want them to see me like this. CC were like come on Syania don't let Fajar see you cry so when their car passed by again I covered half of my face and waved one more time to that best friend of mine, who smiled so big and waved so eagerly. I totally didn't expect our last moment in Qatar together to be like that at all. I wish it was more like last year where he didn't let me sit down on DnF's couch until I told him that I'll miss him, and where he wanted to take me to the airport but his mom didn't let him. That would've been perfect. But he's 14 now, so he won't say any of that feelings stuff anymore. In the end we didn't get to see DnF 'cause I kept sniffing.

Back at home I was still upset but Hamzah's note made me look on the bright side. Then, Carisa presented me this green book which turns out to be like Iwan's only smaller and is not actually a photo album. I looked and read every single page and couldn't stop laughing at what people [especially Cania] said. Some of the stuff Fajar wrote touched me a lot but he's still an idiot for mentioning him. Jealousy is a part of love, you know. Haha, I love you Fajar you idiot. I was smsing that guy before and his replies were so neutral. It still makes me wonder if he'll miss me that much anyway. But, he wrote stuff in there that let me know I'm still his best friend, which could be the happiest thing that happened to me today relating to him. Anyhow, that book totally lifted my mood and I was no longer so sad. It was the best gift I ever got, ever. I thank every one who wrote in it. (:

After CC left I majorly chatted, with brbs of course since he was packing, with Hamzah who stayed up 'til midnight, amazing. At 11 or something I started playing RO with Umar much later on joined by Hamzah. We were looking for Angeling then Deviling then Ghostring lol. They were SUPPOSED to sleep at 1AM but that got changed to 12 sadly. I read the book one more time and am totally thankful to receive it even if it was rushed and not big and colourful and full of photos like Iwan's. Wew, it's 1:20AM right now. I hope to see the twins today, amin.

The paper with the heart on the left is that Love Note from Hamzah daww~

I quote what I said to Hamzah in MSN [in proper English];
'I have a gut feeling and a faith in God and a trust in my friends that even if I'm gone we'll still be tight' - amin
We will, right guys?

The Brilliant Wednesday

2009-06-24T21:52:00.014+03:00

It was.

The video above pretty much explains what me and those people did before going bowling at 1pm; but there are some stuff I'd like to insert here that weren't recorded.

[ Random mention: I was just watching this and it made me smile ]

Anyway, we reached City Centre at 9 and every shop was closed, even the cinema gates were still down. We went downstairs to Carrefour where we met up with the twins, Khalid and Fadhli were watching Night at the Museum 2 as their Gold Merit Winner trip. At the Xtreme Food Court place me and Umzah were like waiting for the Magic Corn lady to prepare her stall but after an hour or so she still didn't finish, fak her man.

When I was at the Sweet Factory with the twins, Farah was in the bathroom and Dhea and Nisa separated from us to go elsewhere; Umar wanted cola bottle gummies but Hamzah said 'no it's too hard to chew'/'no it's too stiff/hard' or something. I was also intrigued by the jawbreakers. Their bag costed 20QR and mine 10, toeng.
Later when Farah got back we stood in front of Carrefour and randomly donated to the Red Crescent and the twins speculated a pad of Carrefour suggestions/complaints papers. Hamzah wrote 'Joe Bloggs' on the name line and then I continued but right when I was writing the complaint which was 'You don't have enough cereal (:' everyone started giving signals and Farah and Umar ran away, I turned around to find a freakin' Carrefour manager-looking Arab staff behind me saying 'Are you writing a complaint or just playing around?' in a light intimidating voice and I was like 'uhh I'm writing a complaint' and then he left and I was shit scared but Hamzah was next to me throughout the creepy experience [you're the best, really] and he suggested stuff for me to write down, wew. I finished by the time scaredy-cats Umar and Farah came back [I forgot if they said anything, did they Hamzah?], they laughed at me I believe and I ripped the papers and stuffed 'em in the box. Then we quickly scurried off before we got into more trouble.
After loitering by the escalator we went downstairs to finally buy Magic Corn, Hamzah bought BBQ which didn't taste good and Umar and I bought Chilli (Y). The latter twin's lid fell to the ground and he picked it up and threw it *-* but when Hamzah's fell he ignored [later when we visited that place again I was like 'Hamzah's lid is still there!' and his older twin brother put it in the bin again u__u].
In Hallmark we kept observing cards which some emitted Disney music such as HSM, Hannah Montana and Cars. Once when I was in the aisle with Hamzah and Farah was somewhere else, I heard toy music blaring from a different part of the store and I saw Umar running to our aisle with a really really pink face laughing perhaps in embarassment, apparently that was his doing. He immediately got out of the store after that xD
Nothing happened in the museum which we went to at 12 [so 3 hours of spending time in a deserted mall] that is worthy of noting, really, besides that me and Hamzah wanna go there again 'cause we're ga puas D; Oh and it's so spacious and pretty and totally worth having a photoshoot in.
And bowling, well, we just bowled. I was surprised I'm on the same level if not better than an athetlic dude like Umar. And Hamzah was good too. And Nisa. How I underestimated them. Oh and I said hello to Fajar in the beginning and hit his shoulder in a friend way but he just stuck his hand out like the huzza mata greeting and I got disappointed and throughout the 2 hours we did not communicate. I felt pretty sad watching him joke around with the others. But I had a guten tag time. At 3 we Sekompond people ex. Iwan Fajar had to go home though. );

In the household I shut myself in MD's room and died of boredom [where's my RO mates?] but thankfully I watched today's videos and compiled them to what you see up there ^ so that entertained me a bit. Plus I played Typing Maniac and a bit of JamLegend. I thought me and Fajar were over with, that he gave up, 'cause his PMs were to do with RO but somewhere at night he greeted and we chatted although I forgot to mention we already did this morning but only for 30 minutes which wasn't enough. It was the usual Bs/Fajar baru baikan style of chat aka lots and lots of fighting but unlike normal I started crying again spontaneously when I remembered he and I only have 2 days left to make the most of it and his replies were so careless it makes me wonder if he'll miss me at all, sigh. But thanks to him I had company tonight, even if it wasn't the happiest company I've had since......... -shrugs- I just want us to be normal again, and by normal I mean no stupid fight talks. Can 2 days make it work?

The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Two Muslims will not meet and shake hands without having their sins forgiven (by Allah ) before they depart.
Somehow, that relates to us doesn't it

Dear Fajar, this was us last year on the 24th of June, both wearing that wristband I randomly gave you one day, best friends; best friends, yes. You remember, right?

A Happily Miserable Day at CC

2009-06-23T22:54:00.008+03:00

Umar did a peace sign after this picture, har

Hi guys. I reckon I should blog about today but since pictures can describe the series of events I'll just simply say we went to QBC first before going to the Museum which turns out to be closed on Tuesdays gah stupid. I'll also say that me and Fajar both wore white kemejas and black pants and that we were holding orange die [dice plural] at the end of the day. Another thing I'll mention is that after the Isynas went home me, CC and Fajar went bowling from 3 'til 4:15. Before that you don't know how much I struggled to try and talk to Fajar. I wanted to in Xtreme but he was so busy with Umar, I wanted to when we were at bowling sitting next to each other [the chance was so open], I wanted to when we were walking to the Musholla, but I couldn't spit out a simple Hello, Fajar because I'm like that. It makes me wonder how he does it so easily before countless of times. When we met up with mothers and Iwan, Bella and Andin at this coffee cafe place that was the point where I felt really tired and moody 'cause I decided to listen to sad songs and rest my head on the table and have my dice from Umar [in RO when I got home he asked 'dd u get another doll hha'] next to my face. Then like, I started to cry real bad. Like for 15 minutes or more even. I'm sorry Matar that's why I had to refuse your nudging .__. I don't know if anybody noticed 'cause when I stood up to leave I turned my face away from everyone but I had to sniff so I'm sure people knew. Matar patted me and as me, Iwan, Fajar and Tante Siwi walked to the car Iwan whispered to me 'You're a big girl now don't cry' but I couldn't stop, the tears just kept flowing. And you know what, I kept crying onto the dice. If that dice wasn't there who knows what I could cover my sobbing face with besides my hands or sleeves. I'm sorry dice. In the car I continued my sob-fest and I was so embarassed but I thought that crying would help me release all the pain I've been feeling since yesterday plus I was hardly able to stop. I didn't tell you guys that last night I cried myself to sleep did I? And I actually did sobbing noises. I was on my bed weeping for ages .__.; Anyway that's when I sorta had the thought that maybe all this time I've had trouble misery-crying 'cause the tears were preparing for this recent cengengness. I just cried whilst listening to Iwan and Fajar talk and sometimes chuckle. It made me think if Fajar was sad at all for me. It made me think twice 'cause when I got home he put PMs about me which showed he still thinks about me but then he went ahh whatever again. I had no niat to start a conversation yet 'cause I was still full of sorrow... Then at night Nisa and Dhea invited me to have a somewhat photo session specially for me and Iwan 'cause we're leaving and all; that's when I FINALLY decided to open a chat after 4 days but he didn't reply so I left. Outside however we didn't talk at all. There was me, Nisa, DnF, Iwan, Fajar and the twins appeared when we were gathering in front of Nisa's house talking. Dhea was telling stupid stories (Y) We decided to go inside after the Ulumuddin parents went to antar the Ismail family but we just watched TV and NisaZah played piano. Me, Nisa and Farah also played cards for a while and then I tried to make a pyramid out of them but kept failing and stressed. The other boys were inside Fadhli's room doing RO and guitar stuff. By the way when Nisa played River Flows in You I started crying again but for a minute or so. T'was because the melody is so melancholic so I started thinking about the past again. I went home at 10-ish and tolerated with Facebook's gay photo uploader.

You know, Fajar never seems to look interested in talking to me. He tells me though what I see from his expressions isn't necessarily what I should believe in 'cause the inside could have different feelings but it makes me hold back to my intentions anyway. That's why I'm always surprised when he writes PMs about me. 'Cause he never ever ever looks like he remembers who I should still be to him [a best friend]. I'm the only real best friend you ever have Fajar. I'm sure the reason why we're having these complications is because our story is supposed to go on. In fact I never thought it ended anyway. Not with me still needing you back, I mean.

I know you read my blog and I know you're glad none of this is your fault but mine, but do you really enjoy seeing me cry and this miserable?

Dear God, today wasn't how I wanted very much but thank you for giving me courage to finally start at least somewhere. If me and Fajar being friends again tomorrow is what You will, please make it happen... Amin

The 3 gays that made today the awesomest;
plus like someone else but I think I don't need to mention that one.

From Start to End

2009-06-22T21:37:00.001+03:00

Today I woke up by the sound of my ringtone 'cause Hamzah was calling me. It was 8AM and the twins were already awake since 6, diiiiiiie. I had hair problems and then ROed with Hamzah at first but then Umar joined [we Skyped when he was like why are we typing?]. Cania went online like at 11 or something and Carisa is now in the RO/Skype club (Y) We just played all day basically, well not all day 'cause somewhere at 3 or whenever we stopped ROing and just Skyped; me, Matar and the twins. My hearing is still bad by the way ToT At 5 everyone went and I got so bored. I actually don't remember what I've been doing since they've gone.

Change of topic, now

I just HAVE to spit this rant of mine out SOMEWHERE, I want to do so at Matar but she's out why do you have to be out right now? so I turn to my blog.

Alright so basically on Saturday, Fajar put in his PM something about a story ending with someone being happy over his sadness and I obviously knew it was for me but but but I didn't know what to do about it, then when I got home from playing outside he added waiting for you at the end of his PM and that's when I realised he wants me to start first but but but I didn't and I couldn't. I wasn't mentally prepared........... 'Cause like, all these 2 weeks since the 8th of June he never seemed to need me and like he never looks at me as if hoping for me to say something you know [although I'm supposed to know he does by the way] so I haven't the thought of saying something. But of course in those 2 weeks I always spent at least 10 minutes thinking about him everyday. You all know I miss him right?
Then yesterday, yesterday, he changed his PM again to something about how this time he won't start first but like after that one he put actually it ends so I was confused, am I supposed to start or not, what do you want? But again I couldn't type a message and press Enter. I wanted the timing to be perfect but now I realise I shouldn't care about that and just go for it 'cause chances don't always come like this. Although I already know I've lost 3. You know, I actually twitted these feelings if any of you read. Because of that stupid confusion of mine I wasn't brave enough to say anything again - I keep reminding myself it's just chat but chat can be more than what it seems, OK. T___T
Finally today his PM showed no signs of anything to do with me and it makes me wonder if he's quit waiting or anything. You know ever since we've been RO/Skyping on Saturday I've always had an inside wish that Fajar could join us. Just like today, when people were being idle I wanted to open up a chat with him and say hey let's play RO and Skype and I wouldn't have to be bored. Basically amongst the boredom and amusement I show to everyone I have sad feelings inside about something else. When Matar and the twins went out in the evening today I've had 4 hours up 'til now to make up with Fajar and play with him but instead all I've been doing was nothing [well except some TeenVogue.com browsing] but get upset I lost another day to spend my last week with my most special friend ever and it's all my fault and I'm continuously blaming myself even as I type this [and that explains some of the negative twits I've been twitting recently]. Why the hell can't I start already? What's there to be afraid about? I only have tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday and perhaps Friday to cherish the time I have left with him [and everyone of course; but CC are an extension (Y)]. I had all the time in the wooooooorld since Saturday. I had. But I just blew it........ I just wish he's been waiting for me a week before Saturday or maybe like a few days after he decided to 'stop thinking about me' instead of a week before he's going to Indonesia and we may never meet again 'til a long time. Why did he decide to need me back so late? That's probably one of the first few things I'll ask him when I'll finally get to communicate with him again... tomorrow. God, help us? Amin..............

I just wish it was since Saturday TT_____TT

p.s. He's still online and that makes me regret even more that I didn't start after Maghrib and after Isya like I kept muttering to myself. Weeh, jdi pngen nangis sndiri

RO/Skype (Y)

2009-06-21T21:22:00.005+03:00

Friday 19th June

It was really boring and lonely, I watched Soul Eater in the morning and Niffed with Cania and Umar but then got in a bad mood I think in the evening and so was really lazy to go to the Unocal meeting at Dhe3's house but I went anyway. In that place we ate delicious food compromising of bakso, macaroni scuttle and pudding and basically fangirled, watched videos and then at the end Matar talked about HSM fanfics which made us both and MD crying [literally] with so much laughter 'cause I laughed at the HSM fanfic idea plus when Matar said the real people's names 'Lucas' I went 'Who's Lucas? Ryan?' then when she said them as the character's name 'Chad' I went like 'Who's Chad?' IT WAS SOOOOOOOOO FUNNY SRSLY!! I had uber fun, thank God. However MD's leaving to Indonesia so I had to go home early, I didn't get to anter her 'cause Ocha was already asleep. By the way in the car I suddenly started reminiscing and as usual Fajar dominated most of the time so I nearly cried.

Saturday 20th June

In the morning I played RO with Umar but he was watching The Guild also so I ended up watching it too and in the afternoon I played with him again but stopped after a bit. Afterwards Hamzah told me of Umar's brilliant idea which was to have a Skype conference while playing RO which was obviously inspiration from The Guild. Me and the twins tried it first and it was SO COOL and practical and great 'cause I get to hear their voices; Cania joined us after a while, however at about 4 Cania and Hamzah went so it was just me and Umar but it was mostly silence although we said stuff to each other sometimes. When it was his turn to have music lessons me and Hamzah had a 1-on-1 voice call and talked about stuff, apparently at 5:30 Cania and Farah invited us to play outside and we we were both stuck whether to go or play RO and I heard in the background Umar going you playing RO? and Hamzah saying yea kinda but we decided to play outside and then the latter was like Nvm we're going out or something. Outside the Isynas 'cept Khalid and I were like not playing tennis with the rest of 'em so we just stood there lol. But then we played cards (Y) At home I forgot what I did.

Sunday 21st June
I amazingly woke up at 6AM and immediately blogged and waited for people to come online and the twins did so at near to 9, we started RO/Skyping [Cania appeared too] from then 'til like 1pm whoa, it was a lot of fun. Sadly we're unable to like save the convos, it would be nice if they had that function ): Then from 1pm 'til like 5 me and Hamzah chatted massively in Skype [we're weird] and talked about chicken and how we chat in 4 different places including that wonderful program; it was a loud and funny convo and I named us Psychotic Hungry Boredists 'cause we were so bored. And hungry [well we always are]. I forgot if I was ROing or not. Well anyway at 5 we went outside to play 'cause we were bored and when I stepped out the house I saw Umar cornering against the fence between the pool and tennis court inspecting something on the groundlolwut. Nisa showed me her superhero art homework which was wickedly cool and I touched it accidentally and when we collided into Hamzah at the alleyway he/Nisa were like why is your krudung green and turns out it was from Nisa's drawing noo~ We all mingled in front of the Ulumuddin household, Fajar was nowhere to be seen but Farah arrived later on. Umar, Salmaniye and Khalid were playing cards, Fadhli was being iseng with his watergun and the rest of us were just talking. Nisa then brought her laptop outside which was when everyone huddled to speculate a video of Super Junior dancing to a segment of Tunak Tunak Tun and that was hilarious, God. I forgot how but we then began searching for old Spanish dramas openings like from Rosalinda Amigos, bla3. It was amusing (Y) At night us girls went swimming but mostly played around and talked and the water was colder than I thought,. The floor was covered in sewage which stank and Dhea accidentally slipped on it LOL. when I got home I discovered my hearing got damaged like what usually happens when I'm in water but it was really bad. Everyone was offline so I decided to blog, I think.

The Up Farewell

2009-06-18T23:21:00.009+03:00

Nice picture but sadly dark D: Stolen from Hamzah

Today was a very good day (Y) Well in the morning I was forced to watch the Year 5 & 6 Graduation. At first I sat with Hikmah but then I saw Indira alone so I went over to her and thankfully it wasn't boring anymore 'cause we commented on the teacher's somehow staged speeches and students. It was like 12 when that was done so we could finally go to CC, meet up with the others and watch Up. But I invited Indira and she wasn't allowed to leave school 'til normal times so we waited for her 'til 12:45. I ate yet another turkey sandwich which tasted nearly as good as the Intercon's and sat down. At like 12:15 or whatever the Isynas appeared and I talked with Hamzah occassionally. When they walked outside to go home I'm like 85% sure Umar turned his head around to the right and looked at my direction

Finally Indira came and we were able to go~ It was a girl's afternoon out so it seemed but a random Abid was present and he actually wanted to watch Up too xD Since the others already ate, me, Indira, Ocha, MD, Dhea and the only dude went to eat. Abid kept taking our food without permission and they mocked me for ordering Kids' Meal but that's because I didn't wanna eat 6 pieces of nuggets -__-; Finally it was time to watch the movie. I sat inbetween Ocha and Carisa with NO SNACKS but that's because I was too shy to get Magic Corn 'cause coincidentally Fathy, Jozali, Majd and Abdellah was it? was standing right in front of the stand lol. Up is such an epic movie. The entire population of the Earth should watch it. I kept laughing and laughing and each time I did I always cried 'cause I did so too hard. However the beginning is really sad T-T After that people started going home soooooo us kompond girls just had a walk around the mall. That's when I felt pretty... how do you say it, lonely? I will not specify the reason.

We took a taxi to go home which was at 5; today's the day of Iwan's Farewell Party so I checked out the clubhouse to find loads of giant boxes of Yellowcab pizza and I was creating a flood of drool. The party started after Maghrib but before that I went to Nisa's house where some girls were cooking and the others playing musical instruments, I wish I have musical ability too TT____TT I went home to pray and later on visited the clubhouse, sat with Andin who felt alone like me too and saw the dudes BBQing outside. The food on the table was admirable but I definitely did not wanna eat KFC 'cause I've had that too much already. I noticed Umar was only wearing the bracelet I gave him today unlike usual where he also wears his red one and I felt pretty happy harhahrahr. I also thought Fajar was really good-looking......... Well it's not like he isn't but today was like, exceptionally. Sad we didn't talk.

I decided to go outside and help with the BBQing when CC finally came w00t~ They reminded me of yearbook signing so I went off to fetch mine also. Year 11 boys were swimming until suddenly Fajar and Umar [no longer with the bracelet] appeared with their towels and I was like O______O but only Fajar jumped in, Umar sat on the deck chair like across the pool from me as I was signing the Space Sisters' yearbooks. He was probably embarassed HAHAHA.It was then time to eat and I chose Sate Ayam with soy sauce which I don't usually combine together 'cause I eat with the bumbu/sauce thingy you see. I ate whilst watching the boys who transferred themselves to football. I made Matar sign my yearbook first then Hamzah then Cania then so on and so on. When I went over to Khalid to ask him to sign out of the corner of my eye I saw a certain person look at my direction and Indira clarified when she outbursted the same event. I was already too full to eat anything else such as cupcakes and fries sadly D; In front of the side clubhouse door I read Matar's touching message, Cania's funny message and Hamzah's sad message which as you wished, didn't make me cry... Yet.

From then on we did random thingies; after Isya we all huddled in front of the clubhouse. People started playing cards and others talked and ate and bla3 I can't remember in chronological order. But like, when the cards people were announcing they need another player I wanted to join but Matar took that spot ); So she, Cania, Umar and Fajar played cards [later on joined by other people] and I never got to... I only watched in the distance with perhaps maybe a little bit or not a lot, of envy.

But that's also when me and Hamzah started having the longest one-on-one conversation ever. We were kinda outcasted but it brought us together to talk about many things which I already forgot what about but that was probably the highlight of that party for me. It was special and cherishable (Y) If he wasn't with me then I would've died of boredom. Infact I talked so much my throat started getting sore and I had to drink a lot, I was always standing up and shuffling our positions so parents couldn't see us from the door and window. At one point a thought struck me and I said something like 'When I'm gone we won't have these kind of talks anymore' and I was on the verge of tears you know. But I threw that aside and continued conversing anyway. It ended when we had to go home, really, which was at what, 10:30?

On the inside I wished I played cards too but a long talk with Hamzah was equally as fun. When the Year 11 dudes were being stupid, Carisa and Fajar were taking pictures of them and I got to see them fall back in laughter together and right at that point I started missing him again, that fun friend of mine. After the Isynas got home the rest of us listened to Kareem babble racism stuff which was sorta funny I guess. I got kind of tired so I walked home but at the intersection in front of my house I looked to my left and found Umar walking towards me and I turned my head back front and regretted leaving but, I had to. At 12 or so I was damn curious why MD wasn't home yet so I checked the clubhouse only to find them playing cards inside, they invited me of course but I rejected and went back. I played my laptop 'til 1AM which was when I discovered the others were already home. I looked at my Autographs pages again before going to sleep and thought about how Fajar last year wrote 'thanks for being my friend'.

I appreciated the awesome day, God, and thanks Hamzah

We're Bored Because Amusement Hates Us

2009-06-18T08:23:00.001+03:00

Monday 15th June

Today was like the boringest day ever. All I did was twit and watch Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging and watch Star King episode 27 which was pretty cool.

Tuesday 16th June

I had to go to the Dentist in the morning, she cleaned my teeth again and I believe put Hydrogen Peroxide on 'em o___O;; Then I bought McDonalds KKEHEHKHEKE and waited for Mom and MD for ages next to an escalator... I also heard that Swine Flu has arrived in Qatar, that freaked me out. Since people were still having their exams nobody could play with me and all so I had a Soul Eater Marathon. I watched like 9 episodes in total 8)

That's Death the Kid the character I like most, not just because he's cool but because I find him very amusing.

At night I got kinda disappointed at Umar a bit for his Swine Flu being epic remark but in the end he managed to make me type HAHAHA which I haven't done in hours. I downloaded this Prototype game which is 7+GB and Rated 18+. Then I browsed my wonderful Chinese Donghae Forum and after doing band stuff I went to sleep.

Wednesday 17th June

aka THE DAY I GRADUATEEEEEEEED~ It's nothing to be happy about really. But it's something to be proud of =P
In the morning I tried to play Prototype but I had no idea how so I downloaded another version but the same problem occured. Since I was bored I decided to open RO and do excessive exploring. I ditched Grad Rehearsals too (Y) Sometimes I chatted with Umar but like, he said something that made me upset so I went all moody. Then Matar introduced me to JamLegend and I had loads of fun with that. Finally at 6 me and my family went to the Intercon~

When I reached it was Maghrib already so I was like stressing to find a place to pray but eventually I asked Dad and dragged Icha with me~ That was like the only problem I had, besides discovering that Kearns changed the stupid line order. I was apparently walking next to Marc. The hall was quite big and there were spare seats! Plus nobody cared about the invitations. CC could've come ToT There were obviously technical difficulties [QIS is a jinx] but after that we got to speculate Majd's video which was funny. The Year 13s' didn't work.
It was then time to walk, I was so nervous of screwing up and I kinda did although it wasn't my fault 'cause I was told to walk with Marc but when it was our turn some other girl suddenly barged and 'took' Marc away and I was like what? what? but thankfully Mahjabeen behind me stepped back and Akkad walked forward and we both ended up stepping across the aisle together woo~
When we got on the stage all we did was sit down and listen to like 3 speeches [Majd's was funny and I had a bit of difficulty understanding Hana Shiraz's accent] and people calling out Award winners. Kearns pronounced my name wrong and as I walked past the dudes I could hear some Mohameds whisper the correct proNUNciation, hehe. It's OK though. The certificate looks pretty nice but with typical Caddick calligraphy. Finally at 8:45 the ceremony was over and I was one of the girls who threw their hats in the air. Then we went off to take pictures and eat. The turkey sandwiches I ate were so yummy *-* Saba and Iman came, Shaza left too early and basically I talked with Lara and Madusa. Oh yes I got to speak with Parry too. That's all really.
Back at home it was already 10 or something but I was too busy playing JamLegend 'til Midnight and apparently Matar and Umar were too.

Haven't chatted with Matar nor Hamzah properly this week D;

Year 12s' Day Out

2009-06-14T22:38:00.014+03:00

Another entry? Yes, sorry.

I had like the saddest dream ever. All of us were gathered somewhere, in front of me was this large door or something with lots of decorations. Apparently I entered the dream at its climax, because I could already hear myself talking to Fajar sadly. Turns out that the door thing was his birthday present from last year. Since we're not talking right now I wanted him to accept this year's present, which was a better version of the door. But, Fajar didn't wanna accept it - I actually never heard his voice in the dream but he was speaking - and I started doing my rants. I was saying things like Fajar we've been close ever since we met, I was the only friend you ever needed, I'm leaving this year so why can't you accept this? Do you really want to end our friendship? you get the point. Towards the end I started crying really bad, I could've sworn I was crying in real life [but when I woke up I wasn't, prolly dried up already...]. I sobbed so hard I was incapable of continuing @__@; Then, my face buried in my hands still weeping, Fajar started hugging me but nevertheless after a while walked away with the rest; the present was still rejected T__T I turned around to find myself in Masjidil Haram, but in a different layout. It was so weird. Cania passed by and I wanted to talk to her about something but she snapped and it seems that she didn't wanna be my friend anymore 0.0 I then went to pray on top of a random hill and when I got in the hotel the scene immediately changed to some make-up place... Stupidly enough I was a candidate for some Top Model show. What a way to end a horrible, horrible dream...

I woke up and had Jelly and Chocolate Crepe for breakfast and did lame stuff 'til 12-ish where I had to go to school for Graduation Rehearsals. The yearbook was out it seemed but the cover sucks like hell and I regret not drawing one. I talked with Lara and Madusa before entering the hall at 1:30. It ended at 3pm, all we did was get ourselves sorted and practise the walk and how to receive a damn certificate. The aisle-walking song is 6 minutes and 11 seconds gleeek wth @___@; The steps take ages. It was very nice seeing everyone though. (Y)

So, after that we spent some time looking for Madusa's phone which we ended up concluding as lost [by the way I flipped through the yearbook and found the twins' class picture amusing] and got in a fancy taxi which costed like 32QR just to go to CC. RIP OFFFFFF. Just because the car is nice and not Karwa, bleh. When we reached we met up with Iman and Rodha and since my stomach was playing death metal I had to buy KFC Crispy Strips Light Meal and eat. The movie was starting soon so I bought like a large cup of Magic Corn for snackage. Such a gluttonous skinny person I am.

We were watching The Uninvited, apparently. I wanted to watch The Last House on the Left but this one was really good in my opinion. I thought the story was very smart and ironic, like, twisted you know. I recommend you watch. It's not that scary but it may surprise you. Because the music was always so creepy I kept thinking something major frightening will appear so I was always huddling next to Shaza on the HUGE chair [we sat right at the back] which I don't think any of you has seen before and continously covered an eye of mine with my fingers. But, nothing scary really happened. Well it WAS scary but not like usual horror movies. Damn why am I typing about such a thing at 11pm...

Aaaaaanyway, to more pleasant thoughts, we had a walk around the mall for a bit. We're weird so we ended up at the bookstore and spent like 10 minutes there before moving on to the uber goth and manly store with a circle door which Madusa really hates 'cause they're so ugly. Then at the Xtreme Food Court place I was tempted to buy Happy Ice Cream. Turns out Lara has never seen such a creation before and was thoroughly intrigued at her mixed flavoured concoction. OH AND YOU KNOW, she never ate Magic Corn too and she loved it when she bought some. Basically I introduced her to new mall food LOL. She was thankful you know.

Iman had to go home already so it was just us. They dragged me over to Applebee's where I wasn't in the mood to eat but the Mushroom Soup Shaza ordered SMELLED SO GOOD [I totally disturbed her] so I decided to order it before running off to Sholat Maghrib. When I came back the beautiful bowl was already there and at the first sip I was already in love. PURE DELICIOUSNESS. I recommend you guys to try it, seriously. I don't regret not buying it (Y) When I was done Rodha told the people to sing happy birthday to Shaza and they brought ICE CREAM AND CHOCOLATE CAKE but I couldn't eat them, of course not. The girl was so embarassed, 'cause face it the song the staff sang did sound pretty stupid.

There's mushrooms in there, they just sank XD

It was like 7:30 already. I had to go home so I walked all the way to the center of the mall. I found Jozali, Osama Sherif and Khalid Selim waiting for a ride beside me and when they passed the Head Boy smiled and said Hi Syania and the latter 2 greeted me too xD In the car my parents pointed out like 3 policemen writing tickets to vehicles parked in the wrong area LOL. It was funny 'cause they were like kinda huddling ish. At home I did... stuff... I couldn't eat another bite of food.

If you didn't realise, the words I coloured blue symbolise all the food I ate today
which was basically junk

Memories Will Not Grow Back

2009-06-13T22:46:00.011+03:00

TITLE WILL BE EXPLAINED LATER

So, another boring day, except at night. Basically I watched like 4 or 5 Soul Eater episodes 'til I got tired which was at around 3 or 4 or something. When Maghrib arose, me and Matar were having difficulties of whether or not to join that dinner in Movenpick [all sorted in Twitter and then MSN] 'cause Tante Cathy believed only ITB kids were allowed although that rule never existed. So in the end both of us didn't go. Instead we planned to play RO so I turned on that game and apparently Umar was online; we had a chat that lasted from after Maghrib 'til Isya [although with silences inbetween as usual].

Sakurai Kito : umar umarauraruamruamraurma
Sakato : bsbsbsbsbssb
Sakato : yes?
Sakurai Kito : r u going to th aparment promotion?
Sakato : wts tht
Sakurai Kito : th dinner thingy ur family is going to
Sakurai Kito : promotion for el medina residences (Y)
Sakato : o rite
Sakato : no
Sakato : no im not
Sakurai Kito : oook
Sakato : too bad huh =p
Sakurai Kito : uhh.. y?
Sakurai Kito : o__O
Sakato : hha just messin
Sakato : so ur nt coming
Sakurai Kito : isnt messing fun?
Sakurai Kito : no im nt coming cuz im afraid ill be bored
Sakato : bt..?
Sakurai Kito : i already stated th reason.
Sakurai Kito : pluuus ...... carisa isnt comin
Sakato : ur staying home?
Sakurai Kito : yes i am, isnt tht great news for u?
Sakato : i dunno
Sakato : is it?
Sakurai Kito : luk beyond wt u see
Sakato : is om ali coming?
Sakurai Kito : ohh , u askin om ali or dhea/farah here? ;)
Sakato : uh oh uh wink wink nudge nudge
Sakato : checking if th parents r going or nt

Our names are so similar it's confusing to read @__@

It was in that convo I discovered that people were gathered at DnF's 'place' about to watch a movie so we both decided to go after Isya, which we did, only I arrived sooner. There was MD, DnF, Fajar, Iwan and Abid. We had to migrate to Yuzie's 'cause the film wouldn't work on Dhea's laptop or was it because the screen's too small? In there, the girls raided Fajar's room and I went in a little bit and that orange-lit place was so tidy and nice. From afar I could see the wristband I gave him next to his laptop, I was touched of its presence. Feeling uneasy, I transferred myself to Iwan's messy and not-as-sightly-as-Fajar's room. Then it was finally time to watch WOLVERINE. Seriously that name reminds me of Salmaniye all the time. I sat on the chair in front of the door with MD at first but then I won it over 'cause she moved to the middle. Just a few minutes into the movie someone rang the bell and I opened it to find Umar, tararara~

It was only the first 5 minutes when we found out that Umar watched this before and we were like Oh Umar dah sampe mana? and he was like Disini and me, MD and Farah were laughing I think, only I laughed the hardest 'cause srsly, it was funny to me. If you don't get what's so funny, it's because he watched only the first 5 minutes of the movie. Plus he said it in the plain way an Umar speaks. Since Farah was in the premises she kept commenting about various things which I constantly laughed at. The movie was uber cool but we couldn't make out the speech at all due to us talking and perhaps low volume. By the way Iwan was in his room. At the end of the movie where an epic quote was said, Abid kept repeating it in SUCH a funny way that sent us laughing but me and MD laughed the most and me the longest. God, I laugh so much but there's nothing wrong with that right? That dude wouldn't stop quoting XD 'til MD told him off or something. Once there was a phone call and Fajar picked it up and suddenly he walked over to me and said 'Bs' and it was my mom blabbering away about Ocha being alone in the house. He said my name, aaaaaah T____T It made me sad.

The movie was finally done at 10:15 or whatever and we could've watched another but speculated Hannah Montana instead. Fajar was already falling asleep, his eyes were red. We watched that for a bit 'til we decided to go home 'cause of the poor boy. I left the house after Umar not on purpose alright and spontaneously said bye and I don't know if he said anything 'cause I only saw him do this gesture... and waved, I think. When I got home I realised it was just Saturday [and Nisa's birthday only I didn't see her], time's going pretty slow, which is good.

"His brain may heal but his memories won't grow back."

that was the quote. XD

TP2B

2009-06-12T22:21:00.009+03:00

Hello again, today was the day of the TP2B concert but that wasn't 'til 6PM so for the other 12 hours before it I suffered great boredom.

I had a really awesome dream. I only remember that I actually knew how to play the drums and the guitar but the most idiotic thing was that I played a single drum, not the actual set. I was part of Matar's band Masquerade too and we had to play after school one day at 2pm. Sadly enough I lost my guitar-playing skills [drum ones vanished] on the day of the gig and I had to revive it asap. Weirdly enough the concert was held on that centre grass field in front of the Secondary blocks, we were 2nd to come up so I had some time. Apparently I went up to Dagher's classroom where I used her computer to search for chords to practise with o__O; The name of the song I played was something to do with Light or whatever and it sounded nice. But, my guitar was like rectangular and the tuning part and some of the neck was CHOPPED OFF! What a stupid guitar... But it felt so good to be able to play an instrument even if it was just in a dream TT-TT I hurriedly ran downstairs just in time to perform but since it was 2PM already THE CROWD DISAPPEARED which was sad, really, and only our friends and some other people stuck around. Another sad and dumb thing was that I didn't get to perform with the band at all even with my skills rebirth. Instead I headed over to the Boys Block to chat with me mates but Umar was like, interrogating me [will never happen IRL, thanks for reminding me, dream] and his face was like 2 rulers apart from mine ajkldsakldjas. Dream ended there.

So, I woke up at 6AM to find MD [she arrived just this morning] talking to my other family members and I entered the bathroom sleepily. When I stepped out she was walking towards me so, surprised, she yelped 'OMG SYANIA YOU LOOK SO CREEPY' or something like that, and about how I look like Tarzan just because my hair was so messy but still, I didn't look that bad even though my hair wasn't at its best. I was actually pretty insulted by her remark 'cause she said it a few more times but I didn't let it show.

Well anyway after encountering with my older sister I watched some Super Junior dramas but couldn't go on 'cause of parental wanderings [we all hate that don't we?] so I decided to play RO. However it was like the most alone session I've had in weeks, 'cause for once Umar wasn't there for me to talk to and I had no idea where Hamzah was. I was like, questing, furious to get it finished and after so much money and EXP loss I did, at 3 or something. I then had some fun with Morph Thing, decided to use a picture of Fajar I thought was the only front-faced pic I had and morphed him about. But, I can honestly say his original face is a lot better looking than any of the morphs... Duh.

Finally it was 5:30 and time to go to the concert! Me, Nisa and MD I think reached Mariott Hotel where the event was held on a grass field o___O; I was imagining concrete you know. Plus a bigger lot... It was smaller than I thought [hurray rhyme-age]. It was as hot [look another rhyme] as hell. We just mucked about for a bit before Maghrib came, which was when only me and Cania out of all the girls that were there searched for a place to pray. We entered the hotel after much approval from the security and wudhu-ed in the bathroom [duh, where else?]. However there was nowhere for us to pray so we inquired the people at the front desk but they had no answer either =\ Then we started walking towards the elevators and that's when Cania had the brilliant idea to pray on one of the room floors ;D

We prayed there, cool no? It was so quiet but right when we were on the last raka'at we heard people coming this way 'cause their voices got louder and louder. We salamed and like quickly packed up our stuff so we could run away in huge panic and fear but THE MOST STUPIDEST THING was that they entered the room before the corner of the hall XD Like, EXACTLY the room next to the hallway we were on, so they didn't see us. It was fun, you know.

Both of us returned to the field where thankfully the bands didn't start jammin' yet and I saw the twins in the distance. We failed to surprise them and I immediately asked about their other siblings but they decided not to come. I was so hungry already but nobody ever wanted to eat with me plus I discovered later from Nisa a freakin hot dog was 20-30QR D; Rip off! Mentang2 bikinan hotel haaaah?

Us girls sat down together with the Isynas behind us but soon we moved forward to see and take pictures better. Dinda and Dhe3 appeared after Liquid Sunshine played - they were greeted with horrible vocals. I say that Masquerade was one of the pleasant ones to hear along with that Jive Turkey which I thought was Jive 30 and the acoustic dude who performed much later and I so believed looked like Warrilow. Basically we sat down and I kept commenting to Dhe3 and Cania too whilst taking some pictures, the former and I laughed loads due to them. Later we were finally suggested to stand up and everybody did. There were disturbing shirtless guys and for hundreds of times people with long hair kept doing those head-shaking and bopping moves; I found that amusing.

People were mingling near the stage but we kept our distance. There were times when people actually got tossed around and that scared me o__O; I mostly talked with Hamzah who was spamming pictures... After a long while Adam and Arif hung around with us and the former was sweating like hell or maybe he poured water all over himself. The boy whipped me with his towel and it hurted ;___; Once I ranted to Hamzah about how he should be taking pictures of his friends instead of strangers 'cause when he looks back he won't be seeing us in the photos, but people he never knew, and bla bla bla. Umar was next to him when I did that and Cania was next to me, apparently Umar said something to Cania and Cania was like yada yada and when they were done I dragged her over and hissed What did he say to you? and she said Oh Umar was just asking what you said to Hamzah and then I whinged Why didn't he ask me instead?

It was 9pm when Nisa suddenly said her parents were there and we had to go home. I wanted to stay a bit longer, but we couldn't lah. I walked away dragging Dinda who was holding my arm or hand and we were like byeeeee and I could've sworn I saw somebody look...... As me, MD and Nisa walked to the front of the hotel [which was tiring], the Isyna mobile drove past us. In the car I got quite upset due to the sms Hamzah sent to me but I put that aside when I somehow suddenly thought about Fajar, weird huh? I miss that guy, really. I didn't want to get even more sad so I decided to sleep. When I woke up I smelled KFC but I dozed off again, and when I really had my eyes opened and walked inside the house MD was holding a KFC bag XD The Ulumuddin parents bought 2 snack boxes for us o___O; I only ate 1 chicken obviously. It was 10pm and I discovered That's So Raven on MBC3, episodes I've never seen before *-* I actually watched 'til like 11 or something. Alright, that's all for this entry. Damn why do they always end up so LONG?

Hamzah Appreciation Day

2009-06-11T23:03:00.006+03:00

Today is Hamzah Appreciation Day, aka the day we went to Landmark, aka The Nearly Perfect-But-Slightly-Ruined-By-a-Person-I-Will-Not-Mention-His/Her-Name-Here Day. June 11th.

Dentist

In the morning at 10-ish I went to the Dentist in City Centre and while waiting I watched this random movie of a giant squid and shark. The squid crushed a submarine and it sank, sad u__u When I was called in I sat down on the long chair then the lady [Dr. Miral] started pressing buttons and the seat was like rising and bending and stuff *-* After that she put this tube thingy that blew wind or whatever and she STUCK THAT IN MY MOUTH; it stayed there for the entire 30 minutes. Soon I heard buzzing and that's when the dreaded device started scraping against my teeth and the noise and feeling was like nails scraping against a chalkboard aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh Dx It didn't hurt at first but when she started forcing I shed one tear 'cause of immense pain ToT When it was done I rinsed my mouth and I saw LOADS OF BLOOD, sick.

Landmark

Probably the best thing that happened in this first week of freedom. I reached Landmark at 12:30 where I met up with CC in the food court, I saw in Twitter that the Isynas would be there too ;] After eating, our first stop was Pull and Bear where I was stuck between buying a size 40 shoe and a cool T-shirt Carisa bought but in the end I didn't purchase anything u__u
We spent some time in there so when we stepped out and headed over to ZARA we saw HAMZAHE; he was wearing all black and ah, my eyes were blinded 'cause he looked so handsome [don't comment about this please]. He was the first one to finish eating [gasp] so a certain twin brother wasn't with him. We dragged that guy with us over to ZARA where not so interesting apparel were sold. He was desperate to go to Virgin but we stalled =P
After that we walked over to its area [found a shop called Fat Face lol], when we passed the food court I saw Umar and Fajar in the distance. To our right there was a music store, where me and Matar saw Hamzah opening his mouth while looking at the sign and walking in as if entranced xD It was SOOO FUNNY.
Later on we finally entered the premises of Virgin ministore, trust me it did not deserve the prefix 'mega'. Inside we had such an amusement. We looked at almost every DVD in that place especially the horror ones, commenting about the cover or whether or not we've watched it and stuff. Virgin recommends aerobic videos, you know. I wanted to buy a RJA album but g jdi =P Anyway we stayed there for like over 20 minutes and it was really fun.
When we were done, we walked to H&M 'cause Matar wanted to search for a prom dress, there we collided with Khalid and Salmaniye who were holding a KFC plastic bag. They were gunna sholat? Soon after them Fajar and Umar appeared, I think I started talking to the latter for a bit as he walked; he kept smiling in that dumb way he does it, aaah so cuute~ Hamzah followed them so it was just us 3 but me and Cania ran off to buy ice cream [I ended up getting Magic Corn instead though lol]. I think we didn't see the contents of Fat Face after all and ended up walking to the Virgin area again. We sat against the wall in front of Virgin and saw the guys and their mothers walk out, bad timing right? I kept waving to them but none responded except Umar who eventually turned around and waved back, hehe.
So, us girls finished eating and trotted back to Pull and Bear but Matar got attracted to MNG which we pronounce as 'mung', we kept laughing at that, plus Bhs which we pronounce as 'buhs'. As we lolled at those 2 shop names suddenly a glass containing a car appeared in our view with the words BRABUS on it and we couldn't stop laughing after that, God it was hilarious. We g jdi go to Pull and Bear but into Stradivarius instead which had lame stuff, then we started looking for the Musholla which Cania pointed out was in the Carrefour direction so we walked and walked 'til I got attracted to a shoe shop. There were the Isynas in there apparently. None of the Converses were to my liking u__u But the advertisement at the front of the shop was (Y) It was a dude who I thought looked like Afdal [see picture above]. I pointed it out to CC and the Isynas but none agreed with me [except maybe Umar who agreed secretly 'cause he didn't say anything].
When that was over with we found an entire wall filled with paintings and they were so, so amazing. Turns out the Musholla was NOT there so we prayed elsewhere. Our mothers were here but we continued to Bhs which had lame stuff but there was a clothing brand called Joe Bloggs which nobody remembered about, it was the name that appeared on our Walkathon sponsor paper once back in 2007. 2007, whoa.
After that we entered Jennyfer which had Cvoro browsing in it. Me and Matar were automatically hiding. As we shuffled through the clothes, the background music played was Akon's Right Now, I started dancing to the 'I wanna make up right now na na' part in REFLEX and when I was done we all realised what I just did and LAUGHED LIKE MAD AND HELL. Seriously. It was continuous HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA for 10 minutes, even as we walked around the store we had tears in our eyes and red faces and uproar laughter emitting from our mouths. I couldn't breathe. When I typed that I was smiling, too. It was the funniest thing that happened all day. But right after that something happened [a space sister slapping one another?] which made Cania describe the upper arm as an ARM THIGH and we were laughing so hard again. ARM THIGH WTH? I was nearly laughing when I typed it.
Tante Cathy appeared later and we decided to drink Starbucks (Y) We sat down and talked about Naruto, I totally forgot why. We saw Williams too, with her ADORABLE baby Aiden. He was so cute. After much conversing, it was 5:30 and definitely time to go home. I was extremely exhausted.
By the way we saw like 8 teachers there. I will list: Nolan, Scoots, Schofield, MacLeod, Peachey, Cvoro, Williams... OK I can't remember the other one, if any.

Home

Katsuo Morogani : MY MOM JUST BOT A LAPTOP YANNOH
Sakurai Kito : OMG R U SRS
Katsuo Morogani : n she just asked me wt blue is in french...
Sakurai Kito : WOMEN N TECHNOLOGY THEYSE DAYS
Katsuo Morogani : its liek rele small
Sakurai Kito : omg small laptop?!?!
Katsuo Morogani : n costs 1400 ish
Katsuo Morogani : yeaa
Sakurai Kito : HITECH MUCH
Sakurai Kito : LOL WTH 1400
Katsuo Morogani : rectangular
Sakurai Kito : do u expect a laptop to be CYLINDRICAL?
Katsuo Morogani : liek 6" by 4"
Sakurai Kito : HAAAAAAAAH
Sakurai Kito : so small
Katsuo Morogani : XD
Sakurai Kito : wait2 lemme get a ruler
Katsuo Morogani : HAHA WE CANT WORK WITH INCHES
Sakurai Kito : AHHAAHAHAHAHA
Katsuo Morogani : EVEN I HAD TO MEASURE HOW THT IS
Sakurai Kito : WAIT NO 1INCH = 2.5CM
Katsuo Morogani : IM JUST TRYING TO SOUND AMERICAN HAAAAAAAAAAAHA
Sakurai Kito : 6 X 2.5 = I CANT DO IT
Sakurai Kito : LOLOLOLOL U STUPID
Sakurai Kito : 6 INCHES IS 15CM
Sakurai Kito : OMG THT IS HELLA FKIN SMALL

Hometime totally brought my mood a lower level, but thanks to Hamzah the bestest guy I've ever met in the world so far or maybe ever, I was able to enjoy myself. Hence why I made Hamzah Appreciation Day, as you can see in this entry's title. I was pretty bored and lonely when we got home but after Isya he and I played RO together. Apparently Umar was with Fajar obviously and well the latter isn't communicating with me so I couldn't possibly join; and when Cania came on she got lured to their party instead of ours. It's just normal RO playing but since it's with Hamzah of course it was enjoyable (Y) When everyone logged off Cania told me what her party did and gahh, I got so upset. Oh well D;

Alright, well, sorry for the long and old entry. I thank you for reading :D

This Was My Week, It Was So... Sleek

2009-06-10T17:52:00.001+03:00

Title based off Hannah Montana's song 'This is the Life' LOLOLOL

Sunday 7th June
So today was the infamous BORED day. I didn't play RO 'cause the twins were studying for their exam so like... What on earth did I do? I watched TV, fiddled in RO by myself a bit, drank Pepsi and admired the ice inside fizzing and then fangirled at night. Oh and I experienced emoness due to Fajar too. D;

Monday 8th June
I had to go to the dentist in the morning D: It was at the QP Clinic and I just sat there in the cold waiting area for 1.5 hours from 7:30 'til 9:00 there was only 2/3 other people before us but it took that long! When it was my turn I had to sit on a chair and the dentist took an Xray which hurted. My teeth were fine so I just spent 5-10 minutes there, WTF waste of time much? I then went to school in non-uniform but felt uneasy @__@; I met Griffin who asked about the exam and Parry who said 'Oh Syania nice to see you! Why are you in uniform?!' Apparently the library system was busted so I have to come back next time -__-;; When I got home I think I watched K-ON! and then sometime at 11:30 Umar invited me to play RO so I did and Hamzah was there too. It was liek fun but sadly ended at 1:30. I communicated with Fajar again in RO but exactly half an hour or so after we got in another fight... Word. At night after more ROing with twins I got kinda emo again 'cause of something I found out from Dinda was it? But as usual I get over it the next day.

Tuesday 9th June
It was a good morning, day, actually. I spent hours despite being dizzy chatting with Hamzah in Facebook whilst checking out freeexampapers.com which had so many weird subjects with weird papers. We took a gander at Music, Psychology, loads. It was extremely amusing and fun. There was Pakistan Studies. I quit at 12-ish and right after began a journey by myself in RO ;D Arya chatted with me today O: But it was short... and by then Umar was already searching for Mistress with me so I was distracted. Hamzah tried to join us but died LOL poor boy. We did that for like 1.5hrs but kept failing and never fought her... Later at 5 me and the twins went to Pyramids/Sphinx but I had to leave at 5:30 'cause I was invited by Farah/Dinda/Indira to play 8D First we tried on Dhea's cool prom dress which did NOT fit on me because of... a private reason... and then we badmintonised outside in the scorching humidity. After Maghrib we talked and bla3ed and when Dinda and Indira had to go home I did too. At night I played RO with Umar again but it wasn't that long.

Wednesday 10th June
Happy Birthday Cania! =D Today was like, the epitome of boredom [I had to Google that word to know what it actually meant]. Since twins had Geo test the next day none of them really had the time to play with me so I did quests in RO which drove me mad but were also so addicting therefore I couldn't stop. Sometimes Umar was active and I talked to him a bit but other than that I was sooooooo lonely. I mostly watched TV.

There are screenshots

KAIFA Sports Day

2009-06-06T18:25:00.008+03:00

Well this was last year's xD My vanderful but failing team~ Sadly I didn't know Indira or Dinda well enough yet to stick around with them.

Since I didn't do a Study Leave entry yet I prolly didn't mention that the people in my Red Team were Carisa, Salma, Dhia, Khalid, Bams, Abid, Jihad, Salmaniye, bla3.
So my family reached at 7:45 or something and I was already raided with a stomach ache [I've been getting them a lot this week] so I went to the bathroom but the girl's one was locked and it seemed like nobody was in there so... I went to the guys'. HARHARHAR. When I got in the hall place there were some people already and it felt so good to see everyone. I saw that Umar wore the bracelet I gave him for his birthday woo (Y)
When everybody collected we had to go to our team's area and Red's was next to Yellow's and Green and Blue's were like waaaaaaay over on the right. Noooo~ The intro took forever so we read over our yell and some girls and I went to the bathroom. Apparently the other teams had flags and pompoms, even the Blues had face painting [I was so surprised to see Umar actually having some on him o___O;;]. We had to senam and it was SO FUNNY and Abid was our source of entertainment. And maybe some Om Bangun too.
It was finally time for the yells, I thought ours was good but the kids wouldn't follow along so it's mostly us big kids. When I saw the other teams', theirs were so much better compared to ours -o- Whatever it didn't matter. Ours was based on Balonku and Sorry Sorry and it merged into Balonku Sorry XDXDXD

Soon the games started and that's when we aaaaaall shuffled about and did many random things like telling people so many ciamik jokes which I absolutely loved [you know my lame joke adoration]. Farah dominated the book which was owned by Juju so I followed her around when she asked some victims. It was entitled 750+ Tebak-tebakan Ciamik. God they were so funny. Frequently the Blues and Yellows came to our side of the hall and we united like we haven't in ages; well I haven't. I don't know why but me and Fajar didn't talk. Since it was the kids doing the competitions we were free to do whatever but I watched too. Videos may describe. Sometimes the boys played football at the corner... Weird.
There was a time when me and Farah found a joke which was like 'Kenapa why bla3 awal tapi but bla3 akhir'; the answer was 'Karena because itu that' and we were totally puzzled. So I decided to ask Umar who was the only close 'English-pro' around [I don't know whether we asked anyone else or not] of its meaning and then Hamzah appeared to look too but couldn't figure it out. We were all holding the book but then Farah and Hamzah left so it was just me and Umar doing so; I didn't let go and I don't know why. We just stood there in front of each other, me waiting for him to decode its meaning and it lasted like 6 seconds or something. He looked so intent and serious doing it. After those 6 seconds he took his fingers off the book and said 'It's the translation' at me before walking off. I think he said it with a proud smile, or proud eyes. I looked at the joke again and it made a lot more sense. That kind of scene is totally not recordable.

The first game us big kids did was that annoying Dragon thingy where it looks 100% wrong. It was such a painful thing to do, I mean my arms hardly reached the ground and they were gonna break. WHY WAS THE DISTANCE SO LONG?! I'm glad I wasn't the only one who felt the physical torture. After that it was Tug-o-War which the Red girls failed badly on. And the Green guys too (Y) Well there's videos for that. Peoples then began to gather by the chairs near the stage as others did Sarung Volley which I must say is quite amusing. When I got back to the area I heard the girls were gonna do a prank and I was very impressed but it backfired miserably and so Hamzah had nothing juicy to shoot with his awesome camera. Before we knew it it was time to eat lunch which was Ayam Bukhari. Other TPAs were having competitions. Amongst the games and bla3s, we did plenty of things which can't really be described 'cause they're random. After a while they gave out class awards gifts stuff; Farah, Salma, Metha, Umar and Khalid got one.
At around 1 or something people already left but us Sekompond people were still hanging around. I tooks [note Yoochun Purple Line English there] random photos and drew a nice picture for Indira 8D I remember standing next to her talking and stuff and a certain person was drawing on a paper and I think the person looked at me or my direction, whichever. I asked 'What are you drawing' and the person stopped and said someone's name and pointed but when I saw the card later on it didn't seem to be that. So mysterious. Farah and Hamzah diligently picked up trash and for once I did not which was weird 'cause I'm meant to be an uber-environmentalist. After leaking out Umar's reading-manga-on-his-HP fetish and whatever else I can't remember it was time to go home.

At the Marwoto household I felt dead. Really, really tired. Wasn't in the mood to do anything but twit, I think. But at night I felt so energised 'cause I'm sure it was the night where I speculated old videos [well from 2009 I mean] and posted them on Facebook. They were sooooo amusing. Good times, good times.

So I think this year's Sports Day was better than last year's =p
It was such a good way to see my beloved friends again.
One thing didn't change though.

A Dream Is a Wish Your Retarded Self Makes

2009-06-04T10:50:00.005+03:00

So after I prayed Subuh I slept again 'til 10:17 [which was when Matar sms-ed me, thank you Matar or else I wouldn't have woken up 'til 11:30] and I must say I got the most retarded dreams ever.

The first dream had no plot so it's hard to describe, but me and MD suddenly started talking about Sailor Moon mangas and picking out which ones we haven't read yet or something. Then I transported myself to the Kompond where Farah and Hamzah were playing basketball. Hamzah apparently showed off the new earrings he bought from Indonesia or something and they were oddly enough, upside-down crosses with red beads. Then outta nowhere Umar appeared in front of me and he looked to his right to show off HIS earrings, which was just 1 black hoop on his left ear. It looked way cool.

And here's a drawing I did in Paint to show you what they looked like :D I lol at Hamzah's *haven't used my tablet in FOREVER

The 2nd dream had a plot but again, a random one. I was in the mall with MD and Andin. I've never seen it before but it was HUGE and we were on the top floor. I think we were avoiding Dhea but I had no idea why, only those 2 knew. We went inside a shop that was selling junk on discount and suddenly we spotted Dhea with Shazreen, Nasuha and those girls. She came up to us and started rambling to ME when I didn't even know anything. I was like don't talk to me about this Dhea I'm not part of it. She didn't even speak to Andin and MD wth @__@ Then she stormed out of the store dragging me saying Bs ayo ikut Dhea pergi and apparently she meant go to INDONESIA? Such a retarded dream xD My stupid reason was tapi kan Bs masih punya exam Dhea and then she left.
We traveled around the top floor but I separated myself from the other 2 'cause they were looking at shops I didn't want to look at. I was in a circle-shaped area with only one shop opened at the corner and exitting doors in the middle. In an instant, TRUCKLOADS of Indian/Bengali/whatever male workers appeared walking towards the exit and I was like standing some meters away from the shop so some that passed by were like... you know... flirting with me and stuff. IT WAS SO HORRIBLE. I ran into the shop which was fortunately run by a girl but it was closing time [3pm, which explained why there were workers bustling about].
I stepped outside and walked around the circle to find the most COOLEST ESCALATOR/TRAVELATOR IN THE WORLD. It was like squiggly and weaved up and down and sideways and there were yellow lights strewn around it and even the platforms were bumpy. It was like a ride. SOOO COOOL. I went on it and looked down to find more funky escalators and I think I saw Umar but creepy thing is it was just a head. The escalator became normal when I reached the bottom and I met up with my family. Apparently it lead to the ground floor -__-;;
OK this part is weird and made no sense but we sat down on a chair and there were these weird numbers and letters that popped up symbolising my grandparents and a prose appeared talking about how my grandpa is 98 years old and so he's strong enough to have someone sit on top of him or whatever? And then he said he was gonna go for a walk or something... The dream ended when the prose said 'The grandpa was just about to go for a walk but he died, right when he turned 99'. God it's so hard to explain, but the point is that my grandpa died at age 99, whereas right now he's 92 or something o___O;; Weird...

INCOMPLETE

2009-06-03T15:35:00.002+03:00

Hello gayz I made this INCOMPLETE story like last month and I just wanted to know what you think of it.. :D

I keep coughing nowadays.
It’s not a cold, it’s not flu, but I just keep coughing. I disturb classes with its continuousness and my heart seems to tell me, Please make it stop, I’m aching. If this keeps up I might end up getting bloated with water and explode.
Due to the above mess, I decided to seal my lips more often. My mother urges me to go to the Doctor but the thought of suddenly discovering that I have a disease within me prevents me from doing so. I wear a mask around now, it itches and I wish I don’t have to wear it but it’s for the sake of the surrounding people.
The leaves have just started peeping from tree branches and the inches of puffy white ice are rapidly melting away. Perhaps I am allergic to this season, I don’t know.
I got out of bed and felt a vibe of Vitamin D on my skin. It felt refreshing. After doing morning rituals I waved to my parents and began strolling along the pavement to the bus stop. I could see the neighbours have just started trimming their hedges as ploughs shooed the snow away. Birds were chirping happily to each other as if they agreed about this glorious daybreak.
Bus stops are the Earth’s versions of Heaven for me. Beside the joy of some alone-time watching bikes and cars pass by and absorbing the clean air, there was also the joy of watching and absorbing the wonder that is he. Oh, and there he is, suddenly appearing closer – it’s beating fast – and closer – it’s beating really hard now – until he ends up majestically standing two feet away from the frail and unnoticeable me. His mansion is 3 from mine; our mothers attend tea parties together and we go to the same school… not to mention the same public vehicle, so you could say we know each other.
Despite that, communication opportunities are zilch. Besides frequent greetings in the heaven stop that is. My tonsils are practically suicidal at the fact that a mutual conversation has low chances of ever beginning between us. There are those Hellos and What’s the homework for tomorrow?s but will there ever be a Hey did you see the latest episode of Prison Break?s?
I have a feeling the guy knows of my deep and girly affection but I attempted to enlighten the mood nevertheless.
‘Hello, Ryan.’ Cough.
He slowly turned his head towards me. ‘Hey,’ he finally uttered.
A hey is nothing, really. Really! But my heart is an idiot anyway. ‘So… I heard you’re going to college this year and I’m very impressed.’ Damn, internet phrases can really get to me.
‘Hmm… Yeah… Going to Boston. ‘Think I’m heading early though, in April or something. ‘Wanna get used to the place.’
Cough. I felt my spleen grinning. I asked, ‘Where are you gonna be living?’
Ryan grinned too. My spleen was now doing acrobats. ‘What, why? You wanna stalk me or something?’
‘As if! Gosh, is there something wrong with wondering?’
‘It’s OK, I’ll be in an all-guy’s dorm, with a roommate,’ he said.
‘Wait… don’t tell me you’re gay.’
‘Well at least that way you won’t have to find out where I live anymore.’
There was an icy tone not even a winter’s wind could beat in temperature to that last sentence he said that made me stop the conversation from flowing any further. I coughed again.
He instantly snapped, ‘What’s wrong with you? Why do you keep coughing?’
My heart skipped a beat, but not in that way. I don’t know whether he asked because he’s annoyed, or because he cared. Since this is Ryan, perhaps the former.
‘Man, I don’t know… Probably ‘cause of the season change… I don’t want to go to the Doctor.’
‘Why?’
‘The reason is stupid…’
‘Well OK then.’
So much for hoping he’s interested. The moving yellow box with wheels finally screeched to a halt in front of us and the traces of that conversation were left behind at the bus stop, and my mind, ‘til forever.

It was a new morning. A weekend morning, to be exact. Weekend mornings mean morning walks. Morning walks mean slight chance when I pass Ryan’s house he’ll be mowing his lawn or throwing the garbage or some other morning duty. Mornings are good.
I saved our street for the last. The sun was rising higher and its rays were constantly telling me to go home. Today I could no longer see patches of plump white on sharp greens anymore. It was no use taking my time so I ran for it, only to be stopped by the sound of a woman’s voice.
‘Linda!’
Ryan’s mother. Niiiiiiiice. ‘Yes Miss?’

Tis all for now. Didn't bother editing, OK?

Cheer Up, Emo Kid

2009-05-31T22:26:00.004+03:00

Title dedicated to Fajar ;)

Please just put your focus on the guy at the centre <3

Today is the last day of May. The 4 weeks are decreasing... D:

I woke up at 9 today, miraculously. I got up so reluctantly and mom was leaving so I didn't have to study so soon. Turned on the TV and there was Battle of the Pop on Channel V so I sat there watching it for like an hour, tick tock. Then I turned on the laptop and stupidly decided to play RO for a bit, sometimes checking up on Channel V. Before I knew it it was 11:30 and I took a shower. I got hungry so I ate and watched Zack and Cody, ugh. DBSK won. At 1:30 I finally studied. I was already raided by a Fajar convo but I kept studying 'til 2:30, woo. Then I chatted for a bit and continued studying 'til 2:56, which was Asar. After that I got caught up with Facebook and chatting and later in evening and night, Twitter.

I went sorta emo at 8 or something after my convo with Fajar T~T Since evening I've been calm, relaxed and cheerful when replying to his rants but at night I ikut2an sedih juga @___@;; There were 2 external influences [1 got over with after an hour] but the other is a secret which I won't tell anyone. Plus it's such a stupid reason. I major twitted to relieve the sorrow but it didn't really help heh -___-;

I like you more than I intended

So, tomorrow is June! I hope something good can happen, amin.
By the way I feel tad better already, haha~ Being a non-pessimist helps return your sense of neutralism back faster you know (Y) READ THAT, EMO KIDS? I expect normal terms with Fajar tomorrow *stares*

Hey you, best friend is better than crush, OK? (Y)
Cheer up man, you've got me. Well sorry it's me, not you know who. Sorry I can't give you the compliments you want. But I can lend you an ear if you want someone to listen to you, and be there if you're ever alone :D

Keledai Bertabrakan

2009-05-30T23:59:00.007+03:00

Microwafe.

I am here to type about the 30th of May 2009, but it's already the 31st and I should be asleep 'cause I'll end up waking up at 11AM+ again but I find sleep a total waste of time. I wish my parents would wake me up earlier =\

Well anyway big news today, me and Fajar are friends again. Cania, I wonder if you noticed 'cause in RO we spoke to each other but you didn't say anything about it xD I wonder what Umar thought too O: Basically he saw my previous blog entry and started a chat, uhh syania, and realised how I missed him which he found rather sweet and said sorry as usual. I asked for his honest reason for our make up and he said it's because he felt sorry for me, heh -__-; But that shows he has a heart, right? And if he really hated me he wouldn't even feel sorry at all. I said that it's sad how he only wants to be my friend again 'cause of sympathy but then he said g lahh, I'm bored too and alone, ALONE! but there's zombies around me [he was playing RO]. I didn't really mind his reason 'cause we played together in RO and when everyone else was offline we had those talks and turns out he's still the same old miserable Fajar I talked to in April. When Umar went online we immediately said 'ok stop the end' xD Ahh, it feels so lega to communicate with him again, you know? Now there's no more tension, no more getting teary when remembering those old times when I listen to sad music. Although I hardly see him anymore likewise with everyone else, I hope we continue to keep this bond just as good as it was before we ignored each other (Y) Amin.

Now I don't have to worry about anything else anymore besides the fact that I'm moving .__.;;which is the biggest worry of all, duh. Since people are leaving on the 26th+, I have like nearly 4 more weeks to make happy memories with them [which will be hard 'cause of exams and study leaves]. Of course I can make more in Indonesia but my time there is limited from 7th of July 'til the 23rd 'cause when my dad comes at the latter date I can't go out anymore. I'm going to the US on the 2nd of August I think, college starts on the 25th. Can you guys believe that you'll have a friend in college? Well there's MD but you guys are closer to me anyway xD Rephrase, can you believe that you'll have a friend in college in the WEST? Since Dhe3 going to Berklee is possible [if she prefers, that is (Y)], I'll say that I wish I can drag CC and Hamzah along T~T [no chances for Fajar -__-] Specially you Hamzah 'cause you really want to go here xD I don't know whether to be sad 'cause I'm moving so soon or to just ignore it for a month and focus on my exams [AS IF] and have fun with the remaining days I have with you beloved Sekompond and branches. Sometimes I feel sad about that but most of the time I feel cheerful, which is good right? I don't feel emo or depressed or stressed anymore [alhamdulillah]. Exams seem kinda blah to me [which is bad]. I think I've passed the sad teenager days ;O. Now I just have to grow up to become a young lady, 'cause 17 is the time for that age (Y).

Today I woke up at 11:30 as I think some of you know. I started playing RO at 1:00/1:30 which was when the twins had to go for tutoring [ugh bad timing] but when me and Fajar were in good terms so we played together. Then at 2:30 or something there was a freaking BLACK OUT and my laptop's batteries are assholes and need electricity to stay on so they went off. That black-out lasted 'til 3:30. I WASTED 1 HOUR OF MY LIFE JUST WAITING FOR ELECTRICITY TO COME BACK ON @______@ AND DO YOU KNOW HOW HOT IT WAS?!? I kept shouting in the house, 'I WANT ELECTRICITY', 'AHH IT'S SO HOT I NEED THE AC'. While waiting I read my Memory Book from Year 8 and watched Super Junior videos with Ocha and kept LAUGHING at Eeteuk, Heechul and Sungmin. When the beauty that is electricity [DON'T TAKE IT FOR GRANTED PEOPLE] came back I played with Fajar again for a bit. Then the twins came back and I was with Hamzah for a while but omg the aura was SO QUIET. Hamzah you've never been that quiet in RO -__-;; Anyway I was like talking to myself but thank God CC came to the rescue not long after. We totally spammed the game [Carisa couldn't join us] 'til Maghrib~ It was quite entertaining (Y) But yesterday's game was a lot more fun =p
At night I couldn't care less to study [and Chemistry is my worst subject, remember those E's and U's I got for my Unit 2 test] so I just chatted with Fajar. He told me not to watch 2 Girls 1 Cup [which we ranted over yesterday] 'cause it was dosa and he kept saying DOOONT BS, DOOOOONT, DOSA DOSA DOSA -.-. Bla. He told me to kill my curiosity. BUT I HAVE TO WATCH IT OK, JUST THE FIRST FEW SECONDS IS ENOUGH 'cause I don't think I can survive through disgusting things [I tend to wanna vomit easily]. From how he talked I could totally sense that he's glad to be friends with me again t2h. It was surprising to see him go to bed at 10pm. Now let's hope tomorrow I can study (Y) Oh yeah and I need to make a Study Leave entry.

It's nearly 1:00 now, so I better sleep >__>;;

p.s. Ever since yesterday I've been getting butterflies (Y).